Destiny
by bluebird24
Summary: Their decisions led Lucas and Peyton to live separate lives, but will destiny lead them back to each other? Out of 6,502,867,120 people on this planet and this is MY guy - true destiny…
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Please keep in mind that throughout this story, there are jumps in time. I hope it's not confusing but if there are any questions, just let me know.

One last thing, season four never happened…so, there is no Derek/stalker. I am keeping the fact that Haley was pregnant (just not with Jamie). All the rest should be clarified as the story goes on. If there are any questions, feel free to ask me. Now read on! And review, please.

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**Chapter 1**

**June 2012, New York City – New York Times Office Building**

The night was growing late but New York City was just coming alive. The office workers were off the clock and were out on the streets relieving the stress of the day - well, most of them anyways. There were some, like Lucas Scott, who enjoyed the quiet office atmosphere when everyone was gone.

The lights in the building were dimmed but the bulb on his desk was shining bright. Only the tapping sounds of his keyboard was heard as he typed his thoughts. Lucas worked for the New York Times. He wasn't a writer, yet. He was just a lowly fact checker. Becoming a writer or reporter for the most widely read newspaper wasn't easy for an unknown writer. That honour had to be earned and that's exactly what Lucas was doing – working his way to the top.

That night, however, he grew tired of reading other people's work. He was working on something more important, to him anyways. It was his journal. It was a place where he could write his deepest thoughts and bear his soul. A place where he could think of her and wonder where she had been hiding all these years. He thought about her often and tried a number of times to find her, but each time he ended up right back to where he started – with nothing.

After saving his latest journal entry, 'x-ed' the window close. He rubbed his tired eyes before checking the time.

**10:58 pm.**

It wasn't really late at all – at least not New York time – but it was getting late for him. He had one article left to check over before it was due to his editor at midnight. The cursor opened the article and Lucas began to get to work.

_The World Wide Web of Genetic Testing_

…_with a few mouse clicks, consumers can… trace their ancestry back to the time of Genghis Khan…to identify the sex of their fetus as few as five weeks into pregnancy and to give advice on diet or exercise..._

It wasn't an interesting article but it was easy for Lucas to track down each source. Using his previous experience and connections, Lucas was able to finish it with ten minutes to spare. It was ready for its final round of editing before it could be sent to printers in two hours time. He sent the file attachment to his editor and sank back into his chair. Another day was done.

As he leaned back, the picture on his desk caught his eye. He couldn't help but smile at the old high school picture. It was taken the night of Peyton's breast cancer benefit concert for Ellie. Peyton stood in the middle beside Brooke and Haley. Nathan had his arm around his wife and Lucas stood beside his girlfriend. That was senior year, before the school shooting; before Keith's death; before Uncle Cooper's death; before Peyton revealed her true feelings…before everything changed for all of them.

Throughout everything over the years, Nathan and Haley's relationship only became stronger and their family became bigger. They were now the proud parents of three children – Cooper, Andrew and baby Lauren. Proud Uncle Lucas kept in touch with the Scott family through phone calls and emails.

Lucas didn't keep in touch with Brooke or rather she didn't keep in touch with him. No one could blame her. He had broken her heart – twice – and it was always because of the same reason. No matter how hard he tried, he just never could give Brooke his heart and soul. It just belonged to someone else - Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer.

He let his eyes focus on her face. The corner of his lips curled into a smile. He missed her dearly. What he would give just to see her again – to feel that electric shiver in his body when she was near. The last time Lucas saw her was five years ago and the last time he spoke with her was two years ago. In fact, no one had. Once she left Tree Hill, she never came back. She didn't keep in touch with anyone, no matter how hard they all tried to contact her. It was as if she disappeared on the face of the earth without a trace.

_Trace…mouse click…the world wide web…searches…_

Thoughts of the article Lucas had just fact checked flooded his mind. Abruptly, he sat up and reached for his mouse. He double clicked his internet browser and signed on. He quickly pulled up the Google search page. In the white rectangular box, where the black cursor blinked, Lucas typed in her name – Peyton Sawyer.

It was worth a shot. Throughout her teenage life, Peyton used the internet as an outlet. In junior year she created her own webpage and allowed viewers to watch her through her webcam. The webcam window was black. The page hadn't been updated since 2005. Lucas bookmarked the page before closing it.

Her old myspace page loaded onto his screen and few seconds later, the myspace player started to play, causing Lucas to jump. He quickly turned the volume of his speakers down after recognizing the song. It was an old Dashboard Confessional song – _Rapid Hope Lost. _

_You called to say you wanted out.  
Well, I can't say I blame you now.  
Sometimes you've got to fold  
Before you're found out.  
Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself. _

Lucas turned the song off. He needed to concentrate on his search. He was looking for clues – anything that would help him track her down. His blue eyes scanned the page but his lips smiled at all the goofy high school pictures that were left on the page. Then he noticed the date of her last sign in page - **_June 18, 2010_**_ – _two years ago, which was the last time he ever spoke to her.

Another dead end. Lucas bookmarked the page and closed the page. He clicked on the next link. It was Peyton's Blogger page where she posted all of her podcasts. There were no new or updated podcasts.

Lucas sighed in defeat. As with the other pages, he bookmarked her page but he didn't close it. He moved his cursor over her podcast and began downloading her past and inner most thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Alright, Peyton Sawyer here and I have a confession to make. I hate the dating game – no not the old TV game show…ok well maybe that too – I don't know…maybe it's that whole idea of letting another person into my life and then if things don't work out, that's another person I have to say goodbye to. You know I would rather just find the guy who gets me. Someone who knows me almost better than I know myself, that way I don't have to explain who I am or that I have two moms and one dad who I never see or why I just like to sit in my room and sketch on sunny afternoons. I just want to find him…or him to find me. _

_Yeah, wishful thinking, I know. I guess this is where my friend Lucas comes into the picture. You see, Lucas and I have been hanging out quite a bit lately since he and Brooke broke up about two months ago for like the umpteenth time. Anyways a few weeks ago we were sitting in the common room on campus when he goes to me:_

"Are you going to date again?"

"Excuse me?"

"Since college started…actually since Pete, you haven't really gone out with anyone, have you?"

Peyton scoffed, "Well what if I'm just waiting for the right guy to ask me out,"

Lucas looked at her before cracking a smile, "Getting a lot of immature pervs asking you out, I take it?"

"That's funny, I don't remember you asking me out. Besides when was the last time you went out on a date, post Brooke break up?"

"Good point," he said. "K, tell you what, I'll ask a girl out if you go out with the next decent guy that asks you out," He read her hesitation. "Come, Peyt. This is college and we're supposed to go out and have fun. Meet new people. Not brood and hang out with old friends,"

_So what's wrong with hanging out with old friends? I happen to like hanging out with old friends who brood once in a while. Kick back and just talk about music. Anyways, I agreed with Lucas and that's how I met Justin._

"Do you know what time it is, young lady?" He said, giving her his best concerned face as she entered her room, "It's well past your curfew and you didn't call. I was worried sick,"

Peyton kicked off her boots and dropped her purse at the foot of the bed. "Haha – very funny, Luke,"

Lucas shrugged, "Well somebody has to make sure you get home safe. And that you're behaving,"

"Well, that would be my dad's job and since he's not here…I guess you'll have to do, but if you think you're going to ground me, you have another thing coming,"

They lay side by side on her bed. It had become a nightly ritual for them to talk about their dates.

"So how was it?" Lucas questioned. "Must have been good for you to stay out so late,"

"Well, if it was that good, then he'd be here now," she wriggled her brows.

"Ooh, a threesome? I didn't think you were that type," He smiled devilishly.

"Luke!" she smacked him on the arm. "You're such a perv,"

"I was kidding, Ok, seriously, so how are things going with what's his name?"

"Justin," she reminded Luke of his name, "is a good guy and it's only been our second date, so I don't know. We're still getting to know each other,"

Lucas nodded.

"So what about you? You were home early," she said, "Your date not go so well?"

Lucas shrugged, "It was alright. Kelly…" he searched for the right words, "She's smart and pretty…And it was nice to finally have a nice conversation with a girl for once,"

She hit him again, pretending to be offended, "Thanks,"

"Ow…you didn't let me finish," he rubbed his bruising arm, "I was going to say with a girl who wasn't you,"

"Oh. Well good, cause I'm getting tired of ending my dates with you in my bed," she said half jokingly.

"What? You love me in your bed, you know it,"

"Oh please,"

The two teens laughed before an awkward silence fell between them. Stolen glances were taken - first by Lucas, then by Peyton. Lucas made the first move. He sat up.

"A double date,"

"What?"

"We should go on a double date. I'll bring um…Kelly and you can bring…"

"Justin. And you're kidding right?"

"No. I'd like to meet Justin and you can meet Kelly. How does next Saturday sound?"

_It was a bad idea. Terrible, in fact. Word of advice to all my pod friends out there. Never go on a date with Lucas Scott. _

"We're a pair of something, aren't we?" Lucas laughed as he dropped himself down on her bed.

She stripped off her jacket and tossed it on to her chair before sitting at the end of the bed. "Yeah, it's pathetic, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and it's the last time I go on a double date with you,"

"Dude, your date was the one who was all over my guy,"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that they used to go out? And your guy? You've been on like what two dates with him and he's your guy?" Lucas teased.

"Three dates, if you count tonight," She crawled across the bed and tiredly lay down beside him.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you think it's funny how after every date, we always end up together at the end of the night?"

Lucas stared at her and watched her nervous eyes dart back and forth between his eyes and her fidgeting hands. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by his cell phone. The screen lit up with her name. He wasn't sure if he wanted to answer. It had been a while since they last spoke.

"Brooke," he read the caller I.D.

Peyton let out a disappointing sigh. She rolled off the bed. "Go ahead. I need to shower anyways,"

_So Brooke and Lucas entered their – what is it now? Fifth, maybe? I don't know I lost count, but whatever, they're together again. It's almost as if they're stuck in some sort of cycle – Good one week, rocky the next week, hell the week after then good again. _

_It makes me wonder. Is being stuck in a cycle good? I don't just mean about Brooke and Lucas's relationship, but I mean about life. My life. Am I stuck in a cycle a too? OK so maybe it does go back to their relationship because during their good week – I'm pretty much on my own. But on the weeks that aren't so good – Lucas comes back…_

She never admitted it aloud, but Peyton loved the times when Lucas and Brooke were fighting.

_Yeah, I'm definitely stuck in a cycle. And it's not good. _

The podcast ended. Lucas sat motionless in his chair. The feeling of guilt that he felt all those years ago was back and stronger than ever. Everything was his fault. After he left Peyton's house that night after their double date, he met Brooke in the park. She wanted to get back together and at the time, Lucas loved her and happily agreed. But that wasn't what was eating him up inside. It was what would happen two weeks later. Lucas sighed. Hesitantly he clicked on the next podcast. Peyton's upset and sad voice filled the room as it took him back to the past.

_Well, I wanted out of that stupid cycle and guess what? I got what I wanted. Yes, for once in my life, I finally got what I wanted. So why don't I sound happy? Well maybe you should ask Lucas Scott that question. And while you're at it, tell him… tell him thanks for breaking your promise and proving me right; People always leave._

_Ok. I feel better now. So before you hunt the liar down, let me tell you what happened half an hour ago. _

She sat alone on her bed working on a strip that was due the next day. The sound of footsteps came from the hallway. They were slow, almost hesitant. She didn't have to wait for him to enter her room, Peyton knew it was Luke.

"Would you just get in here already?" she called out and tossed her sketch onto the bed. Seconds later, Lucas appeared at her door way with a look that was more sullen than usual. "Alright, the doctor is in," she casually joked. "Tell me what's wrong. Come on, sit and tell me what happened with you and Brooke,"

Lucas suddenly felt uncomfortable. It used to be routine for him just to walk into her bedroom and let himself invade her bed space, but tonight, it wasn't just routine. Peyton waved him over a second time before he inched towards the bed. Lucas sat down – he didn't lie down like he normally did.

"She knows that I come over here at night and that we hang out," Lucas said as if what they did in her bedroom was taboo.

"Luke, I think everyone knows," Peyton shrugged it off, "It's not like we do anything anyways. And even if we did, we are adults, you know,"

He wasn't particularly in a joking mood, "I know and I keep telling her that, but she wants it to stop – all of it,"

Peyton laughed, "All of it? You mean all the sex that happens here?"

"Peyton it's not funny,"

"Are we having the same conversation here? Cause it's hilarious. Luke, there's nothing going on here. You and I both know that,"

She couldn't believe it. Brooke was still threatened by her. Her laughter didn't last long because she realized that Lucas wasn't laughing or smiling either. There was a look of sadness in his eyes.

"Alright, well then I guess we can hang out at the Rivercourt and the café. Oh and how about a trip to the record store soon. There's a Ryan Adams album I wanna…"

"Peyt," he cut her off. "It's not just about me coming over here. She wants me to stop seeing you all together,"

"Seeing me? Luke, we're not dating. We're just friends," she paused for a moment before asking the question she was scared of hearing the answer to, "Well what'd you tell her?"

"I didn't want to choose,"

"What'd you tell her?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at her, "I can't lose Brooke again,"

Peyton jumped off the bed in a hurry as if he were the black plague. Their friendship didn't mean anything to him. She believed that having him as a friend and in her life was enough for her, but now she couldn't even have that. Another crack tore through her already broken heart.

"But I don't want to lose you either, Peyt," he quickly added.

"Just answer the question, Luke," she demanded an answer this time.

Lucas sighed and looked down. "I told her…"

He didn't have to finish the sentence. In fact she didn't want him to. She didn't want to hear it. "Get out," she said softly. Her voice wasn't angry. It was sad and defeated.

"Peyt, just a couple of days ok? She'll come to her senses and…"

"No, Lucas I'm tired of this too. I thought I could wait but she's right – it's either Brooke or me. And you've already made your choice,"

"Wait?" Lucas got of the bed and started towards her. "Wait for what?"

"Huh?" she folded her arms across her chest, pretending she didn't understand him.

"You said that you thought you could wait – wait for what, Peyton?"

Peyton shook her head and stepped back from him. "It doesn't matter anymore. Just go. Please,"

"Peyton," he tried one last time.

Peyton was breaking inside. Never in a million years did she think Lucas would walk out of her life on his own will. She started hating herself for not telling him how she really felt about him. There had been dozens of times when she could have told him, but she had always been too sacred and always found a reason not to. But she was too late and it was all her fault. She raised her breaking voice, "GO!"

He looked at her and knew that he was making a mistake, The last thing he wanted was to lose Peyton, but he didn't want to lose Brooke either. He just didn't want to choose but he did, "Ok," he said calmly and started to the door. Lucas stopped at the doorway and turned around one last time, "I'm going to figure this out, Peyt. I promise,"

_Bottom line here kids – cycles suck. So if you ever find yourself stuck in one, promise me that you'll do something about it and change it before it's too late and move on because I am. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**March 2007 - Tree Hill**

_So the good news is I'm not stuck in a cycle anymore. I haven't talked to Lucas since he ended our friendship, not even when he and Brooke were fighting._

In fact, months had passed since Lucas last spoke to Peyton. They had seen each other on the streets and in the record store but nothing was exchanged between the two, not even awkward glances. She made sure of it and refused to look at him. He approached her a couple of times, without Brooke around of course, but Peyton would simply walk on as if he never existed.

_The bad news is… I miss him. There I said it. Does it make me feel any better? Not really cause it still doesn't change the fact that he gave up on me and our friendship, for Brooke. It's kinda funny though, if you think about it. I gave up my friendship with Brooke for…nothing._

_But I promised myself to make some changes and changes are coming. I was offered a job position with a partner associated with THUD! Magazine. They had a position open and I applied about a month ago and after two interviews, I was offered the job. This is going to be my ticket out of Tree Hill, but I couldn't go without at least saying goodbye. And I guess that's when all the drama started again._

"That's amazing, Peyton. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Hales." Peyton hugged Haley back.

"So when do you start?"

"Well the job itself doesn't start till next month, but they want me training ASAP. So that means I'll be leaving tomorrow."

"Wait, what? Leaving?"

Peyton nodded and laughed. "Well the job isn't exactly coming to me."

"K, am I missing something? I thought you were working for THUD! still."

"Actually, it's a partner of THUD! They distribute and fund independent magazines across the country. I'll be working for the art department, helping start up magazines with their art and layout design."

"Wow. It really sounds amazing. So when are you leaving?"

"Well, training is in Chicago and the course is about three weeks, then after that…who knows. It's a traveling job, so basically, whenever a magazine is just starting up or needs to revamp their layout, that's where I'll be,"

"I can't believe this, Peyton,"

"Yeah, I know. Me neither. I'm excited thought. I mean I've been in Tree Hill pretty much all my life and now…I just can't wait to see the rest of the country,"

Haley knew that feeling. She had a similar opportunity years ago when she went on tour with Chris Keller and the Wreckers. It wreaked havoc on her marriage but in some ways, Haley would never regret that experience, "Have you told anyone else yet?"

"Just you, Whitey, and well, my dad, of course. And I haven't told Nathan yet cause I haven't seen him yet,"

Peyton hated the sympathetic look that Haley gave her. "I'm sure Lucas would like to know."

"I doubt he'd even care anyways."

"Peyton, you know that's not true. He does care about you, you know? And who knows, maybe this will help end the fight between you and Brooke."

_Switzerland. That's Haley James Scott and you got to love her for trying. You see, no matter who was fighting, Haley was our glue. She kept everyone in touch with each other, even though no one was speaking to each other. She was neutral. She was Switzerland. _

_Here's a random thought. What if, oh I don't know, a country wanted to ban chocolate? And not just in their own little country, but worldwide…Would Switzerland – a country who takes pride in producing the World's finest chocolate – just sit back and stay out of it? Or would they finally get a mind and stand up for what they believe in? I mean they are human and humans do have their own opinions, right?_

_K, stupid analogy, I know but I told Haley the reason why Brooke and I were at war. And being neutral, I thought I could turn to Haley with some things that have been going on in my life. _

"You're what?" Haley exclaimed.

"I'm in love with Lucas. I've always have been. I don't know. I guess for a while I was scared to admit it, but ever since that summer between junior and senior year, I just…these feelings just kept getting stronger and stronger. They wouldn't go away, Hales. So the night of yours and Nathan's rehearsal dinner, I finally told Brooke."

"And that's why you two haven't been speaking," Haley sighed as she put two and two together, "Peyton, I can't believe this."

"Me neither. I thought that over time things would go back to normal. I just keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't have told Brooke."

"Brooke was your best friend," Haley said quietly. "I mean you had to know how insecure she was with her relationship with him. And then to tell her that you were still in love with him?"

"Haley, it's not like I was gonna go after Lucas. Hell, he still doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him anyways. Last time I kept my feelings to myself and I almost lost my best friend. I guess I thought I if I was honest we could avoid the whole triangle fiasco again. But apparently, being honest wasn't such a good idea either."

"I don't know, Peyton. Maybe it wasn't," Haley agreed. "I'm sorry, but I have to get going. I have a doctor's appointment. If I don't see you before you leave tomorrow, good luck, ok?"

Haley was what they call book smart. When it came to school or facts, she always had the answer. But when it came to life and complicated situations, she didn't have all the answers, especially when she was caught in the middle. And it was the one thing that she hated. She was always caught in the middle of the bridge, unable to choose which side to flee to. So Haley only did what she knew - she panicked and walked away, hoping that everything would work out in the end. The only problem was, Haley was walking away from an already troubled and confused Peyton, who was left all alone on the other side of the bridge.

_Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Switzerland finally gets balls and chooses a side!_

_Sorry, sometimes I get a head of myself. No screw it. I'm not sorry. All I did was tell the truth. I was honest. And I promised Brooke that I would never ever betray her again and I kept that promise for months – even now when we haven't been speaking I still kept my promise. _

_And maybe I shouldn't have told Haley either. But I just needed a friend. Someone who I could just talk to and I thought Haley was that person. I guess I was wrong. Maybe things are just better left unsaid, even when you can't help who you love._

Lucas stormed into her room to find Peyton packing her suitcase. What Haley told him was true. Peyton was leaving.

"So that's it?"

"Oh, look who's talking to me now. What, you and Brooke break up again?"

He knew he deserved that but he wasn't there for that, "You're gonna leave just like that?"

Peyton's looked up and met a pair of angry eyes, "No, not just like that. If you were in my life, you would have known."

"Did you even plan on saying goodbye?"

"I already said my goodbyes," The hurt look in his eyes satisfied her but she couldn't look at them for long. She quickly turned away from him, hiding her tears that were threatening to fall, "We said goodbye months ago, Luke."

"I'm sorry for the way things are now, but it doesn't mean I want you to leave, Peyt." he pleaded with his forgiving blue eyes.

Her sadness quickly dissipated. It was always about what he wanted. He wanted Brooke so he got her, but he also wanted Peyton to be there when things didn't work out with Brooke. "Well, we all can't get what we want, now can we?"

"Come on, Peyton. Don't leave like this."

"Well how exactly do you want me to leave? How about I throw myself a going away party? Let's see who would come? Well, my dad…and oh, I guess that's it, unless Brooke cuts your leash, but I don't think that's going to happen."

"Forget Brooke. Forget all of that. You can't throw away your life here just because of one little fight. I mean what about school? Do you even plan on finishing school? Do you even have a place to stay?"

"Stop it. You don't get to come over here and tell me that I can't leave, let alone ask me those questions! Because the last time I checked we weren't even friends."

"Whatever you think, you know that you and me are fr…"

"You and me? Are you kidding me? There is no you and me cause if there was then you'd know how much killed me inside that night you gave up our friendship to be with Brooke. But you know what? I got over it because despite everything, you got what you wanted and for some stupid reason, I was happy for you." Peyton wiped her tear stained face.

"Peyton…" he choked out.

"No, Luke. I don't want to hear whatever you have to say because it doesn't change anything except for how pathetic you really are, I mean did you honestly expect that by you coming over here that it would fix everything? That I'd stay just because you want me to?" she firmly shook her head. "I'm done. I'm done with you and I'm done with Tree Hill."

His bitter eyes looked up at her, "Fine, you know what? You want to leave things the way they are, then leave cause I could care less anymore."

He took one last look at her before turning around to leave.

"But I bet Brooke would." Peyton didn't have to see his face to see his guilt. She bit her lower lip to keep it from smiling sarcastically. "She doesn't even know you're here, does she?"

He hung his head, giving her his answer.

"That's what I thought." A satisfying smile spread across her face, "I think you can show yourself out."

Lucas opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He just stood there, watching her storm towards her bathroom and slamming the door behind her.

_You know what's funny? Of all the people I've told or heard that I was leaving, no one asked me why. I've gotten asked 'how' and 'when'. I've also gotten some 'congratulations' and my personal fave 'I'll miss you, Sawyer' - thanks Nate. I'll miss you too._

_Anyways, if you're there listening, I'll tell you why. It's not just that this opportunity is too good to pass up. It's more simple than that. I just need to move on. I've been hanging on to a hope that things will change for me here. But I realized something a few months ago. It's time for me to let go and make that change myself - for myself - because I can't wait any longer. I need to forget it – all of it and everyone. Leaving Tree Hill with a clean break is the only way I know how to start over. I know that it probably doesn't make sense to you right now and maybe it never will, but it does to me. And I know that one day we'll meet again. I just hope by then, things will be different, for you and me both._

_Till then, this is my goodbye to you._

**June 2012 - Present Day - New York City**

He had played the last part of her podcast over and over again. It was her goodbye to him that much he figured out, but what he couldn't figure out was what kind of changes she wanted to make or what hope she was hanging onto. During the good times, when they were actually friends, not once did she mention anything about a hope or a change. Peyton Sawyer was always a mysterious girl who kept things well hidden, but as they spent time together as friends, he thought he knew her well and learned all of her dirty little secrets. He thought he had the mystery of Peyton Sawyer solved, but apparently there a secret that he missed.

Lucas looked at the clock on his wall. It was time for his weekly call to his best friend and brother in Tree Hill. He pressed his lips together as he reached for his phone. Dialing the memorized number, he already knew this conversation with his best friend wasn't going to be the friendly catch up talk it normally was. The questions he had asked Haley years ago, about what she and Peyton talked about before Peyton left Tree Hill, were either side stepped or left unanswered. This time he was going to ask those same questions and this time he was going to get answers. One way or another he was going to learn Peyton's secret.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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**Chapter 4**

**June 2012 – Tree Hill**

"Hales, where's Cooper?"

"Well, seeing that it's almost midnight, he's probably in bed, why?"

"He unplugged the phones again. I thought he grew out of that phase."

"Oh," Haley sat up, "Um, actually that was me."

"Great. Since when did you become my fourth kid?" Nathan cracked as he slid under the covers.

"You didn't plug them back in did you?"

"Hales," he sighed and kissed his wife on the forehead. "What are you avoiding now?"

Haley looked away and explained. "Lucas called."

"Yeah, he usually does call on Mondays. What's he been up to this week?"

"I dunno. We didn't talk about that. We didn't really talk actually."

Nathan looked at his wife the way he did when he looked at his kids when they were hiding something.

"I hung up on him before he could yell at me. Then I unplugged all the phones before he could call back and yell at me for hanging up."

"Why would Lucas yell at you?"

"He's looking for Peyton again. He was listening to her podcasts…"

"And wants to know the truth behind the last podcast." he finished her sentence.

"Yeah," she leaned her head against her husband's shoulder for support. "I still don't know what to tell him. I mean it's still not my place to tell. Besides if I tell him now, what good is going to do? Nobody knows where Peyton is anyways."

"What exactly did happen? Between you and Peyton, I mean."

Haley sat up. She never told anyone about that conversation and it tormented Haley every time she thought of Lucas or Peyton or Brooke. She wondered, many times, what if she had revealed Peyton's true feelings to Lucas the night before she left. Peyton might have stayed in Tree Hill. Lucas and Peyton could have been married. It was a fact, however, that no matter what happened, Brooke still would have been hurt. The only difference was that had Haley spoken up sooner, Brooke might have been spared the public humiliation that happened two years ago.

So many what ifs, might haves and what could have beens. Haley couldn't shake the feeling that it was her choice that could have changed their future.

"Secrets aren't good, Haley. I know it's been eating you up ever since she left," Nathan let out a sigh. "Alright, if I tell you something that happened two years ago with Lucas, then will you tell me?"

"Two years ago? Nathan, what happened?"

**June 18, 2010 – Tree Hill**

_Over the past few months, even years for that matter, Tree Hill didn't change much. The buildings downtown still looked the same with same little shops occupying their spaces. With the exception of newly installed street lamps, nothing changed. It was nice coming back home. _

_There was one little thing that was odd, however. Karen's café was closed. It was an odd site to see as the café approached. The café was never closed, especially on a Saturday afternoon. There was someone who was always there, if not Karen, then it was Lucas or Haley. _

_All that was wanted was a cup of Karen's freshly brewed coffee. It had been months since a cup was last enjoyed. And coming home meant a trip to the café. It was tradition. A Sawyer tradition._

* * *

**_November 2005 – Tree Hill_**

"_Hey, Lucas," Larry called out to the teenage boy at the counter before waving him over to their table. _

_Peyton momentarily froze when she realized what her father was up to. "What are you doing?" she stared at him with shocked wide eyes._

_"I'm taking care of my little girl." Larry smiled devilishly._

_She quickly, but quietly hissed at him, "You are such a troublemaker. Daddy, stop it. Come on, don't... stop!" It was too late. Lucas was standing in front of their table._

_"Hey, sit down, Rake Boy."_

_"Hey," They shook hands. "You're never gonna let that one go."_

_"Probably not."_

_"It's ok. He can be way worse." Peyton said as she looked her grinning father._

_"What you got there?" Larry took the book from Lucas's hand. "You're reading Faulkner in school now?"_

_"No, I just love his stuff."_

_The two men had spent hours talking about dead writers that night. It bored Peyton out of her mind, but at the same time, for the first time in a long time, she was happy. Lucas and Peyton were just getting to know each other then. Larry and Lucas had only met that morning and yet, the three of them were able to carry on conversations as if they had known each other for years. They even laughed when Peyton's quick wit and sarcastic humor would interrupt a conversation she wanted to change._

* * *

_That night happened years ago, when Peyton and Lucas were just juniors at Tree Hill High, but it remained fresh in Larry's mind as he approached the café. The café was dark and didn't seem to have any business inside. Larry stepped up to the door and saw a sign taped on the front door. _

**_Closed for the Wedding of Lucas Scott to Brooke Davis. _**

**_Come join the celebration!_**

_News usually traveled fast, but apparently not far enough. The coffee was going to have to wait. Just as Larry was about to step away from the café, a figure inside the café emerged from the back. It was Lucas Scott, the groom himself. His eyes caught the eyes of the person standing outside. He smiled and quickly went to the door to open it. _

_"Mr. Sawyer," Lucas greeted. "It's good to see you."_

_"You too, Rake boy." Larry held out his hand, "I see that a congratulations are in order."_

_Lucas shook his hand, "Yeah. Thanks."_

_"I didn't know the two of you were engaged."_

_"Almost six months now. Brooke wanted a short engagement."_

_"Brooke was never a patient one," Larry remembered then noticed that the groom was oddly dressed in sweats. "Well, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the church, dressed in your tux?"_

_Lucas laughed. "The florists dropped the corsages and boutonnières here yesterday. My mom forgot to bring them to the church. And as for the tux – well, they gave us the wrong set, so Nathan went to the shop to exchange them. Needless to say, we're running a bit behind schedule."_

_"Sorry to hear about all the last minute troubles. I should go before I keep you from being any later. I know the kind of fits Brooke would throw every time Peyton kept her waiting. Well, congratulations again, Luke."_

_Lucas was a good boy that Larry respected. And how could he not? Lucas was the boy who treated Peyton with the utmost respect. He was the boy who risked his life time and again to save her. Lucas cared for his daughter. Larry would even go as far to say that Lucas loved his daughter and that Peyton loved Lucas. But with the years that had passed and with the distance that had increased between Lucas and Peyton, Larry was led to believe that things between them had changed._

_Walking away, Larry couldn't help but wish that Lucas was the boy that Peyton would have picked. _

_"Mr. Sawyer, how is Peyton doing?"_

_Lucas's question surprised him and stopped him in his tracks. He turned around to meet a troubled looking Lucas._

_"She's doing well. She says she's never been happier." _

_"Mr. Sawyer, if you don't mind me asking, I mean when she left here she was pretty upset and I've always wondered about her… and well, do you believe that she is happy?"_

_It would have been so simple to say yes. It would have let Lucas relax and stop worrying about his daughter. Lucas could have been able to move on. But then there was something inside him that made Larry hesitate. And now, looking at Lucas, Larry never thought he would see it, but he did. Lucas had that same look in his eyes that Larry got whenever he thought about his wife, who he lost fifteen years ago. _

_"To be honest, Lucas," Larry sighed, "I don't think she is happy. There's something she's not telling me."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, Lucas, no matter how far you are or how hard you try, sometimes things just don't change. And even though things are going great for her right now, I know that change she's been waiting for hasn't happened yet."_

_"What change?"_

_"Lucas, she…"_

_Just then Nathan pulled up in his car. He waved at the two men as he got out, dressed in his tux. He rounded the car and went to the trunk where Lucas's tux was kept. Larry suddenly remembered. It was Lucas's wedding day. He was about to get married to a woman who used to be best friends with his daughter. And maybe Lucas really was in love with Brooke after all. Maybe he just thought of Peyton as just a friend. Regardless of those doubts, Larry had to follow his instincts somehow. _

_"Her heart, Lucas. She can hide it all she wants, but it's still here in Tree Hill. I've only seen my daughter truly happy once. And if I know my daughter, she's as stubborn as they come and there's no way she's gonna come home on her own. I'll see you around, Lucas."_

_Larry turned to continue on his way, hoping that it was enough to get Lucas thinking on his own and knowing that change is inevitable. It's a part of growing up, a part of living. But sometimes there are some things that will never change – hometowns, Karen's coffee, hearts, and trouble-making fathers._

_"Mr. Sawyer?" Lucas called out again._

_"Yeah, Lucas?"_

* * *

"So what were they talking about?" Haley asked.

"I don't know," Nathan shook his head, "I parked across the street, but the way were looking at each other…"

"That's it? So you just saw them talking. Nathan, that's nothing."

"That's what I thought at first, but then as I was walking towards them, I saw Mr. Sawyer hand Lucas a piece of paper."

"What did it say?"

"I don't know but later at the church, I walked in on a conversation that I shouldn't have."

* * *

_Alone in the groom's room, Lucas paced back and forth. He was dressed in his tux. It was the right one this time. It fit him perfectly, but he felt like he was suffocating. His palms were sweating. It was his wedding day and if was normal for a groom to feel nervous. But what wasn't normal was that he wasn't nervous about marrying Brooke. Lucas was nervous about hearing the voice on the other line. _

_Larry had given him Peyton's phone number. It was a risk that Larry decided to take. She had told him once years ago that she didn't want anyone to know where she was or how to contact her. As a father, he told her that it wasn't a good idea. He didn't like it all. Peyton had expected that from her father and told him that she would to let them back into her life when she was ready. Until then, she made him promise otherwise she'd disappear from his life too._

_"Hello?" _

_He stopped in his tracks at the sound of her voice. His heart skipped a beat, which probably wasn't a good thing for a guy with HCM, but he didn't care. _

_"Hello?" she said again. _

_"Hi." _

_Only one word. Only one syllable. It was all that was needed to know that it was him on the other line. _

_"Peyton? Are you still there?"_

_Frozen silence. _

_"Just, don't hang up. Please." he pleaded._

_She was still on the line but didn't say anything. Thoughts of hanging up did cross her mind, but she also knew that Lucas would only call if something important had happened._

_"So…how have you been?" _

_The small talk wasn't what she wanted. "What do you want, Luke?"_

_"I just wanted to see how you were doing. And that I'm so sorry for everything. If I could change it all for you, I would. I miss hanging out with you. I miss hearing your laugh… I miss our nightly talks," Unconsciously, Lucas closed his eyes and pictured what she looked like now, "God, I just miss you so much. I wish you were here with me right now. I wish you would just come home."_

_Did she hear him right? He always did say the right things to her. The only problem was that he never meant them the way she wanted them to mean._

_Her mind raced with her thoughts and words that made no sense. She had to be dreaming again. But she knew she wasn't because in her dreams, she knew exactly what to say._

_He began to worry that she had hung up, "Say something."_

_"How'd you get this number?"_

_"Peyt…"_

_"My dad. He said he was going to Tree Hill…" she figured it out on her own._

_"Don't blame him…I took his cell phone and got your number before he realized it was missing." lied Lucas._

_Just then Nathan popped his head into the room. _

_"Come on, man. Everyone is waiting for you. They're beginning to think you got cold feet."_

_"I'll be out there in a minute," Lucas replied. _

_"Hey, who you talking to?" he asked his brother. _

_"Was that Nathan?" Peyton asked. _

_"Yea, it's Nate."_

_"What did he mean by cold feet? Lucas are you…" she ended the sentence with her bitter laugh. How naïve she suddenly felt. He didn't just call to tell her that he missed her and that he wanted her back in his life._

_"Peyton…"_

_"You're talking to Peyton? How is she, man?" Nathan rushed into the room, "Let me talk to her."_

_Lucas turned away from his brother, keeping the phone pressed to his ear, "Peyton, you still there?"_

_"You're getting married." she said flatly. _

_"Yeah," he said quietly, "To…"_

_Those emotions and feelings she had buried long ago were surfacing again and she was doing everything she could to keep them buried, "Don't. Ok? Don't tell me to who," her voice shook with anger. "Because I don't care anymore. And I sure as hell don't want to know anything about you or your life. So don't you dare bring me back into it. You wanted me out of your life and now I am! I'm…"_

_"I never wanted that. If there is one thing to believe, it's that, Peyt." _

_"Just save it. You know what, the next time you want to talk…talk to your wife. Don't call me ever again."_

_"No, Peyt, don't…"_

_Click. _

_"…hang up. Damn it!" Lucas suddenly yelled. _

_Lucas glared at his brother, who stood with a dumbfounded look on his charming face. _

_"You still care about her."_

_"Of course I do."_

_"Do you still love her?"_

_"Yes. Despite my screw up, she's always been my friend."_

_"Your screw up? Are you saying that you screwed up your choice, as in you made the wrong one?"_

_"What the hell are you talking about?"_

_Nathan shrugged and exhaled sadly, "Probably about something we should have talked about years ago."_

_"Whatever, Peyton and I are, or, were friends. Nothing more."_

_"I never said you weren't."_

_Lucas threw his little brother another angry stare. _

_"Stop putting words in my mouth," Lucas shoved the phone into his pocket, "Come on, I'm late for my wedding."_

* * *

"Wow, suddenly that day makes so much sense now." Haley sat in shock.

"Yeah, I know. And you know what's worse? By the time Lucas realized just how much he loved Peyton, she changed her phone number."

"Oh God, this is my fault."

"Haley."

"No, Nathan you don't understand. Peyton was in love with Lucas. That's what she told me and that's the reason why she and Brooke fought. And if I would have said something sooner, everything would be so different now."

"Hales, don't do that to yourself. It's not your fault. The only ones to blame are Lucas and Peyton. They had their chances to tell each other the truth, but neither one of them did anything about it."

"Well, yeah, but they didn't and at least we know now." Haley reached across the bed for the beside phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Lucas. He has to know."

"Wait," he said and stopped her from dialing. "Let's think about it for a minute. You said so yourself, nobody knows where Peyton is and if we tell Lucas the truth now, it'll just hurt him more."

"So what do we do now? We can't just sit here and do nothing."

"I know. That's why we help Luke find her. And when we do, we let them figure it out. On their own."

"Nathan…"

"Hales, before they can be honest with each other, they have to be honest with themselves first. I mean what if Peyton already moved on? Because, for all we know, Peyton thinks Lucas has been married all this time."

* * *

_Beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face as he nervously waited in front of the church. His best man and brother leaned in from behind. _

"_You have to calm down, man."_

"_Shut up, man." Lucas whispered back. _

_As the rest of the wedding party lined up in their places, Lucas began to feel light headed. He took deep breaths and started to feel better. The wedding march began to play, signalling for the big wooden doors to be opened. Brooke, dressed in a beautiful and fitted Vera Wang gown, appeared on her father's arm. The church smiled at the beautiful bride as she made her trip down the aisle. She had the biggest smile on her face, as this was going to be the best day of her life._

_The ceremony was going according to plan and was fit for a fairytale wedding, only it wasn't. He was beginning to get light headed again. _

"_Repeat after me," the priest instructed Lucas, "I Lucas Eugene Scott, take thee…"_

_As the priest continued with the rest of the vow, Lucas took the opportunity to shut his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. When he opened them, he looked at his bride and smiled._

_He wiped the sweat off his brow and cleared his throat, "I Lucas Eugene Scott, take thee Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, to be my lawfully wedded wife."_

_Lucas stopped when he heard the entire church gasp. He looked the guests and wondered what happened. Lucas's eyes, narrowed, confused by everyone's reaction. It wasn't until when he looked back at her did he realize that Peyton wasn't his bride. It was Brooke. _

_His mouth opened and closed, trying to find something to say to cover his Freudian slip but for the first time in years, he couldn't cover it up anymore. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

…_And maybe I'll never meet Mr. P. Sawyer. Or even worse: like what if I do meet him and don't even realize it, you know. What if one day I'm standing on the platform waiting for a train and the stranger standing next to me, like a hot, kinda grungy stranger is totally and completely my soul mate, you know. I'm talking out of 6,502,867,120 people on this planet and this is MY guy. True destiny… _

**November 2012 - New York City – 96th Street and Lexington Avenue Subway Station**

She was late. For the second time in her meek twenty-four years of her life, Peyton Sawyer was late. It wasn't her fault, of course. It was Raymond, her lousy and incompetent co-worker, who was responsible for her tardiness. He was supposed to have the signed contracts from _DC Records _on her desk by five o'clock, but by six, when she was supposed to be home getting ready, the contracts, and Raymond, were nowhere to be found. It took an extra fifteen minutes of her valuable time just to find him flirting with the new intern in the copy room.

Peyton shook her head and laughed at her bad karma as the train pulled away from the station, with her still standing on the platform. She had missed it by five seconds. She let out a loud sigh and cursed Raymond in her head. Her watch read 7:45. She was already late for her own art gallery opening.

Impatiently she waited behind the yellow safety line for the next train to pull in that would take her to her stop, which was two blocks from where her small art gallery was located. The subway platform was beginning to fill up again with tired workers, all of them anxious to get home or to one of the million of restaurants for dinner. It was rush hour.

The train pulled in and Peyton felt relief. In less than eight minutes she would be where she needed to be – late, but at least there. As the train slowed, Peyton turned her head to the right to keep the wind from blowing her long curls in to her face. It was a trick she learned after waiting for the hair messing trains a million times.

For the first time since she'd been standing there, she actually looked at person next to her on her right. He was tall, dark and of course handsome – in a grungy, professional way. His black button down dress shirt was unbuttoned comfortably from the collar down to his chest, revealing part of his undershirt. The matching crimson tie hung loosely around his neck. His crystal blue eyes told her that he had a long and tiring day and was ready for either a relaxing night at home or a fun, stress free night out. A five o'clock shadow completed his tired and dishevelled, but attractive look.

He smiled when his eyes met hers. She smiled back.

* * *

…_And what if he looks and me and knows that I'm the one, even if I don't. In just the moment he's about to introduce himself to me, some homeless guy tries to bum change off him. And being the super cool guy that he is, he stops to give the homeless guy some change but then my train pulls in and I get on and I speed off to my bleak, grey future and I'll never get to be with THE guy..._

He was early. He was usually punctual, but today he was extra early. He saw the train pulling in as he reached the bottom step. The sea of people began to part in front of him, like the Red Sea as they moved towards the opening doors on the right and left. He causally kept walking towards the train. Unlike everyone else, he was in no hurry.

Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. His heart nearly stopped. He held his breath. An electrifying chill shot up the core of his body and caused his heart to beat quickly again. He wasn't exactly sure if what he saw before him was actually real but it surely felt and seemed real.

Those curls. That tall and skinny figure. They were the exact same as he remembered. She turned her head to the side and he finally caught a clear glimpse of her face. It was her. Peyton Sawyer. Peyton Sawyer was in New York City, just meters away from him, talking to some man he didn't recognize.

His feet started towards her again. His mouth was dry as cotton. The beat of his heart quickened as his stomach fluttered. She started towards the door. He quickened his pace, weaving in between people. She stepped onto the train. He was about to call out when an unclean middle-aged man, wearing an oversized, over worn and torn Yankee's jacket, stepped right in front of him.

"Can you spare some change, sir?" he mumbled hopefully through his long grey beard.

Lucas took out his ear buds. He didn't hear what the man had asked him. His eyes darted between her and the homeless man.

"Can you spare some change, please?" the man repeated.

Lucas, the gallant man he strived to become, couldn't say no. Quickly he dug through his coat pocket for some change – a quarter, a dime, a nickel – anything. When he finally found some, he heard the door chime and the train's doors started to close. He had only taken his eyes off of her for a split second but in that second, she was gone.

"Thank you. God bless your heart," the man smiled.

Lucas Scott stood on the platform in awe. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He knew it was her. Peyton Sawyer was right there and now, just like that day, some five years ago, she left him behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

After Peyton Sawyer left Tree Hill, she spent three and a half years traveling across the country. She spent anywhere from weeks to months with one company before being sent off to the next company in need. The exciting and valuable experience allowed her to meet and work with some of the top magazine editors in the country.

Peyton loved her job but the traveling got tiresome and it quickly lost its lustre. Life on the road and living in and out of hotels had gotten lonelier then she ever imagined. She was never in one place long enough to make friends. As the anniversary of the third year of being on her own approached, she wanted to quit, but she didn't. She couldn't. She had nowhere else to go. She had no place to call home.

Then one day Peyton got the phone call that would change her life again.

"_You're getting married." Peyton whispered into the phone._

"_Yeah." Lucas replied._

His call made her remember why she left him and Tree Hill in the first place. She had wanted change and not just a change of scenery.

That following Monday, Peyton tendered her resignation in hopes of finding a job with a permanent location. But in the end, she didn't have to. The magazine saw the talent Peyton had and couldn't afford to lose a valuable asset like her. So they countered her offer with a permanent position at the head office and a generous down payment on a beautiful brownstone apartment. Peyton happily accepted.

A month after arriving in New York and settling in, Peyton finally decided to take in some of the sights of the city. The first place on her list to see was the Museum of Modern Art where the Asian art exhibition was on display. She was looking at an Asian warrior sculpture when a man came up to her.

"_You often find your destiny on the path you take to avoid it."_

_Peyton turned around to see a handsome man studying the same piece of work she was. He was tall, medium built and dressed comfortably in jeans and a Stones t-shirt. He was a few years older than she was at the very least._

"_This sculpture is based on that old Chinese proverb." he continued._

_Peyton looked at the warrior again and didn't quite understand what the proverb had to do with the sculpture. _

"_When the sculptor was a teenager, he was scared of going to war and fled home before he was old enough to serve in the army. He changed his name and everything when he came to America. Then one day he got word that his mother was dying back in China and he had a choice – either stay here and be free or go back to see his mother for the last time and be forced to serve in the army."_

_Curiosity got the best of her, "What did he do?"_

"_He went back, saw his mother and became a warrior. The irony was that he ended up loving the army and was named Army General years later."_

"_That's an interesting story. How much of it is true?" Peyton smiled. _

_The man laughed, "Everything up until the Army General part. He left China as soon as he served his time. But it makes for a better story if his destiny was to be an Army General."_

That encounter happened almost two years ago. And now here she was, on the subway speeding off to her next destination with that same man, Michael Carter.

"You know, back on the platform, I thought you were ignoring me." Michael said as he managed to find them two seats in the corner of the subway car.

"What? No. I just wasn't expecting you to be there," Peyton leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "You surprised me. I thought you were coming by after your shift."

"And miss my wonderfully talented girlfriend's biggest night?" Michael put his arms around her shoulder.

"Alright, last night you said Clark wouldn't switch rounds with you and now all of the sudden he changes his mind? What'd you do?"

Michael shrugged, "I owe him three rounds at which he can call in anytime he wants and a bottle of fine Bordeaux wine."

"A five hundred dollar bottle of wine and three rounds? Are you crazy? You didn't have to do that, Michael."

"It'll be worth it. You're worth it. Peyton, tonight is important to you so it's important to me too and I want to be there for you."

Peyton looked him in his eyes. She knew she was a lucky girl. Men like Michael were a rare find. He was genuinely nice and treated her well. He was everything her father told her to look for in a man.

"What's wrong?" he asked when she looked sadly away.

"It's nothing. Just a long day at work."

Like every other person who knew Peyton, Michael learned hard it was to get her open up. Over the years, he slowly chipped away at the tough exterior but there was a part of her that just refused to give way.

"Are you sure that's all? You can tell me, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Just butterflies working overtime, I guess." It was only partly true. A part of her wanted to share the night with her father who, unsurprisingly, wasn't able to make it.

"Hey, it's natural to feel nervous. But you're gonna do great tonight. Your work is amazing. There's nothing to worry about."

Peyton sighed and leaned against him, "I'm glad you're here."

"I'd do anything just to be with you." Michael held her close and placed a kiss on top of her head.

* * *

All night Lucas walked up and down the streets, hoping that he would run into her again. He wasn't sure which stop Peyton would have gotten off at, but when he studied the route, he saw Greenwich Village. It was a long shot, but when Lucas thought of art in New York, he thought of Greenwich Village.

After spending hours on foot, Lucas spotted a phone booth. He had called every P. Sawyer in the phone book, but didn't find the P. Sawyer he was looking for. She was unlisted. Anonymous. The way she wanted it. There was, however, one person who knew where she was.

"Mr. Sawyer, please tell me where she is."

"I'm sorry, Lucas. I already told you I can't do that."

"I'm in New York." Lucas blatantly interrupted.

Larry fell silent and it confirmed what Lucas already knew.

"She's here, isn't she? In New York?" Lucas grinned, "I knew it was her. Please, Mr. Sawyer. Tell me where she lives…or a phone number. Anything."

All Lucas heard was a sigh.

"Mr. Sawyer, I just want to talk to her…"

"Lucas, when I talk to her, I'll tell her you called. I'm sorry but you're breaking up, I can barely hear you."

Click.

"Mr. Sawyer? Hello?"

Nothing.

"Damn it!" he yelled.

Angrily, Lucas pulled the phone from his ear and slammed it back into the receiver with force. The phone fell. Lucas picked it up and slammed it repeatedly on to the phone base, cursing loudly every few seconds.

The gallery opening was a modest hit. It garnered just the right amount of publicity and offered her guests an intimate showing. She wanted the night to be more than just another social event with overpriced wine and overripe cheese. The night was about art – the way Peyton always imagined.

"You were amazing." Michael was proud of her.

"This night, it was just unbelievable." Peyton said as she looped her arm through Michael's arm as they made their way back to his place.

"Peyton, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I don't want to spoil this night for you because depending on your answer it could do just that or it could just add to the celebration."

Peyton laughed. Michael was never to ramble unless he was nervous, "I promise it won't ruin the night, just ask me."

"Ok," he took a deep breath, "I was wondering what you thought about moving in together."

Peyton stopped in mid stride. She hadn't thought about it at all. She loved her home and loved having some nights to herself. But when Peyton looked up into Michael's caring eyes she smiled. She already knew that Michael was different from all the other guys she had dated. He loved her and more importantly, he wanted to be with her.

She was about to answer when she was rudely interrupted by someone yelling across the street.

Both Peyton and Michael looked up and saw a man throwing a fit in the phone booth. Instinctively, Michael protectively pulled Peyton closer to him and started to pick up the pace. He could wait for her answer.

"Come on, we'll talk when we get home. There's too many psychotics in the city."

As her feet tried to keep up with Michael Peyton couldn't help but look back at the man in the booth. There was something strangely familiar about him. It couldn't possibly be…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Peyton smiled at the checks that sat on her desk. She sold eight paintings last night, two of them belonging to her. When she heard that there was a buyer interested in one of her pieces, she was floored. When she found out that they actually bought it, she lost her ability to speak.

"Tell me again why I'm the best assistant?" Sam said as she barged into Peyton's office with two tall vanilla bean lattes in her hands, "Is it because I'm here bright and early on my day off? Or is it because I bought caffeine?"

"It's cause you come bearing caffeine. Thank you." Peyton said as she carefully sipped on her latte.

Sam shot a sarcastic grin. After working with Peyton for a year and half getting the gallery up and running, Sam had grown accustom to Peyton's sarcastic humour and was known to dish it back. "Yes and a thank you to whoever thought of the petty cash box."

Peyton laughed, "Remind me later to take that key away from you."

"Yup and this is me making a mental note of that right now," she smiled and sipped on her latte. "Alright, so I understand you want to go over inventory tonight and get the paintings shipped out to the buyers ASAP, but I didn't drag my overhung butt out of bed this morning just to do work. I want details."

"Details?"

"Yes, details. About Dr. Hottie."

"Michael is fine. You saw him last night."

"Yeah, I know he's fine. Anyone who has had the privilege of laying eyes on him knows he's fine, but what inquiring minds want to know is, have you decided yet? Are you going to take up his offer and move in with him?"

"Wait, how did you know he asked me last night?"

"Minor details...so, did you say yes?"

Peyton shook her head, "No. I can't give up my brownstone. I love it too much."

Sam was beyond shocked. "Peyton! Seriously. It's a building, but Michael, he's a hot doctor. He's sweet, considerate and he's…"

"I said I can't give up my brownstone," Peyton interrupted, "So he's moving in with me. He surprised me, you know, when he asked me. But as we walked back to his place, it just made sense. I couldn't think of a legitimate reason to say no."

Michael Carter wasn't perfect, after all he was a man, but when it came to the people he loved, Michael just seemed to make the right choices. His decision last night to attend Peyton's opening over his shift at the hospital was testament to that fact. In Michael's eyes, Peyton came first, something that rarely happened in her life. Throughout her life, Peyton felt as though she came in second; her father always chose his job over her; Jake, rightfully and responsibly chose Jenny over her; and then there were Lucas and Haley who chose Brooke over her.

"Michael's been everything I've wanted for a long time."

"I think he's everything every girl wants, honey," sighed Sam, "You're one lucky girl, Peyton Sawyer."

"Yeah," she agreed "Alright, now back to work before I have to fire you."

"Riiight, I'm too important to you to fire me. Besides, if it weren't for me then who would take your messages?"

Sam handed Peyton a few slips of papers that held her phone messages.

"Which by the way leads me to ask; why didn't you tell me that there was going to be a news article on the gallery?"

Peyton shrugged, "When it was published?"

"Seriously, Peyton. I'm your assistant slash secretary slash best friend and I don't even get to know that we're being written up in the New York Times? The New York frickin Times! Do you know how many people will read my name in that paper? You did mention me, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. Your real name and my band name."

"Peyton, honey, you just made my day. Do you know how good it's gonna feel to rub that in my mother's face?" Sam imitated her mother's voice, "'Art isn't going to get you anywhere, Sam.' Ha, I bet her name was never in the New York Times."

Peyton laughed, "Come on Sam, your mom isn't that bad."

"You clearly weren't raised by her. Anyways, apparently the reporter from last night failed to get the names of some of the paintings so they're sending someone over this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Peyton looked over her planner, "Well, looks like you'll have to give them what they need. I'm meeting Michael for lunch."

"Mmm… no you're not," Sam pointed at the messages, "He tried calling your cell, but couldn't reach you. His surgery was rescheduled and now he can't meet you."

Peyton nodded disappointingly as she flipped through her messages. "Well, then I guess you and…Lucas?"

Sam raised a brow. The curly blonde seemed to be frozen in her seat with her mouth slightly ajar in surprise. One of the messages clearly got her attention.

"The name," Peyton stuttered, "The message you took this morning from the Times."

Sam raised a brow, "Yeah? The guy from the New York Times – the fact checker."

"Are you sure you got the name right?"

"Well that's the name he gave me. What's wrong Peyton? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Lucas Scott?"

Sam thought for a second, "Yeah he's the one who's coming this afternoon to verify some stuff so that they can publish it for Monday's paper."

"No, it can't be. It hasn't to be a coincidence…" Peyton whispered to herself.

"What is?"

Peyton sighed. She knew that eventually that her past would catch up with her one day but when she woke up that morning, she never thought that day would be today. Her mind raced with thoughts of Lucas's reaction when he sees her as the woman behind _Anna Silver's Arts_. But no matter what scenario that played through her head, they all told her the same thing – she wasn't ready to see him – she would never be ready to see him again.

"Peyton, k, you're really starting to freak me out, now. What's wrong?"

Sam snapped Peyton out of her thoughts. She was about to explain when a solution came out of nowhere. Peyton smirked at Sam. Sam knew that smile all too well and it suddenly made her feel uneasy.

"Uh-uh, no way, Peyton. I love you, but I know that look."

"Sam, just one favor."

"Yeah, the last time I heard that, I ended up changing my phone number because you couldn't give some desperate guy your own number," Sam folded her arms across her chest. Evidently still upset about that predicament, "I couldn't sleep for weeks because he kept calling in the middle of the night."

"Ok, so I still owe you for that. But this, I will owe you my life if you do this."

Peyton's desperation perked Sam's interest. "You really don't want to see this guy do you? Is he an ex?"

"Something like that."

"Hey, if you want me to do this favor for you, you're gonna have to do better then that."

"He's just someone from my past that…that I want to forget."

"You mean the past I know nothing about?" Sam sighed. "Wait, he didn't harm you did he?"

"Lucas? No. Never. He's a pretty great guy, actually."

"But he still hurt you pretty bad."

Peyton shrugged an answer, "It's complicated."

"Alright, I'll do it, whatever it is, but only if you explain that complicated past to me."

Peyton nodded and quickly gathered her papers and shoved them into a folder.

"Where you going? Don't you have some explaining to do?"

"I will. I promise, Sam. But he's coming here and I don't want to take the chance of running into him. Close up after he leaves and come over to my place. I'll order take out and we'll have some beers."

"Already thinking about alcohol and it's not even noon yet. This guy must have really done a number on you."

Peyton took one step out the office door when she saw him. She froze in her tracks. Her heart skipped a beat. Through the front glass windows, she saw Lucas Scott outside walking towards the front the door of the gallery. He hadn't changed one bit, except for his hair which was a bit longer than what she remembered.

She ran back into her office and shut the door behind her. Peyton closed her eyes and leaned against the door. Her palms sweaty. Her breathing rapid. This was not happening.

"Peyton?"

Peyton jumped and opened her eyes to see a concerned Sam standing in front of her.

"Geez, you scared me."

"Me? You're scaring me. What's going on?"

"Hello? Anybody here?" Lucas called out from the other side of the door.

"I thought you said he was coming this afternoon!" Peyton hissed.

"That's what he said on the machine." shrugged Sam.

"Well, He's here already," Peyton said. "I can't go out there."

* * *

It would have been so easy for him to confirm the paintings through email or even by phone, but when he saw the pictures of the paintings, Lucas had to see them for himself. There was something about them that seemed familiar to him. They reminded him of a simpler time and not of New York. It reminded him of home.

His footsteps against the wooden floor echoed through the open gallery. There were paintings hung with care on the walls and other pieces of arts display on pedestals. Lucas was alone in the room, but he didn't seem to mind. It gave him the chance to take a closer look at the paintings. He was in awe of them.

Her heels clicked softly against the wood, giving away her presence in the room. Initially, she wasn't going to be very pleasant with Lucas, since he apparently hurt Peyton in the past, but Sam couldn't help but smile at him. He was cute. His eyes were also kind and warm. Lucas was nothing like she had pictured him.

"Hi, I'm Lucas Scott. I'm sorry I'm a bit early but I just couldn't wait to see your work in person."

"Thank you, Lucas. I'm Anna," Sam greeted, "Welcome to my studio."

Lucas studied the woman for a moment.

"Expecting someone else?" she asked when he hesitated.

Lucas shook his thoughts, "Sorry, it's just your name. Anna Silver, right?"

"No," Sam unintentionally slipped-up but quickly recovered, "I mean well, it's my band-name."

"Band-name?" his eyes narrowed. The term was oddly familiar to him.

"Yes, I just like to keep my anonymity, you know in case the critics hate my work." Sam joked.

"Oh, ok. It's just that," he said with embarrassment, "I lost touch with a good friend a while back and Anna Silver was her mother's maiden name and well, I know she's here."

Peyton froze behind the office door, where she was eavesdropping.

Lucas continued, "She's here in New York. Where? I'm not sure, yet, but I'll find her. Anyways, when I saw the name Anna Silver and the art work in the report…"

"You thought you found her. Sorry, the name must be a huge coincidence for you to hear."

Lucas uncomfortably laughed, "Yeah."

"So, this good friend of yours, does she have a name?"

"Yeah, Peyton Sawyer," he smiled. "She's an artist too. Or was. To be honest, I don't know anymore, but I hope she still is. Her work was inspiring."

"Inspiring?"

"Yeah, I know it was a long time ago, but it gave me the courage to step out from behind my father's shadow and start finding out who I really was."

Sam took note of his smile and glimmer in his eye when he spoke about her. Something definitely went on between this Lucas and Peyton, who was cowering in her office. Whatever it was, Peyton wasn't talking and Sam knew she would never get it out of her without prying some teeth. Lucas, on the other hand, seemed more willing.

"Would you like a little tour?" Sam suddenly asked.

"Sure."

Sam started to show Lucas the paintings in the middle of the room and made their way to the back of the room, towards where the office was also located.

"Your work, it's amazing. Are all of these yours?"

Sam shook her head, "No, the statues on display and some of the paintings upfront are done by some local artists."

Lucas continued to look around the room. There was one that caught his eye. It hung alone in the back of the room. It seemed to draw him over. "This one is…I don't know…is this one yours?"

For a split second, Sam forgot that she was impersonating Peyton, "Oh no…I mean yes. Yes it is."

Sam knew this piece well. It was one of the most popular works in the gallery. So many people had inquired about buying it the night before, but Peyton refused to sell it. She always said it had sentimental value and couldn't put a price on it.

"How much is it?"

"Oh, it's not for sale, yet."

"Would you mind me asking what your inspiration for this was?"

"It was inspired by a time in my life when nothing made sense…my world was turned upside down…but at the same time everything just made sense because I found…love" Suddenly it struck Sam. Her eyes left the painting and darted between Lucas and the office door behind him. "And then it just faded away."

"It's funny you should say that, because that's exactly what I thought of when I saw it. I mean, I had something like that one summer back in high school. So what do you call this painting?"

"Fading Summer,"

A silence fell. Sam stared at the office door. Lucas stared at the painting.

"_I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or… just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it but everybody's thinking it- "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me," Peyton admitted before walking away from Lucas_

"_Yep. Me too," Lucas said softly._

_Peyton looked at him as she got into her car, wondering what he meant, but her tough girl act took over. She looked away and started up her car._

"_Hey, about your sketchbook?" Lucas called after her._

"_What about them? They don't mean anything to anybody, do they?"_

"And you drew this painting?" Lucas asked again. There was strange feeling that he just couldn't shake. It was too much of a coincidence.

"The one and only Anna Silver," Sam replied without lying completely. "So was this thing that you had that summer, was she your high school sweetheart by any chance?" Sam asked as she raised her voice.

Lucas looked at her strangely and didn't understand why she was practically yelling even though he was standing right next to her,

"You could say that."

Her voice seemed to get louder as if she were yelling to someone in the next room, "Was this the girl you were talking about earlier, Peyton Sawyer?"

Before Lucas could answer, a loud crash came from behind the office door. Both Sam and Lucas looked in that direction.

"Oh, that's probably just my assistant." Sam laughed. "She can be clumsy sometimes,"

"Should you check to see if she's ok?" Lucas started towards the door.

"NO!" Sam lunged into his pathway.

Lucas was taken aback by her reaction.

"It's just that, um, I'm working on some paintings back there and I don't like anyone seeing them until their done." she lied quickly.

Lucas nodded, "Ok, well I think I got everything I need here,"

"Great, if there is anything else, just give me a call or drop by anytime you like."

"I will. It was nice meeting you."

"You too, Lucas. I hope to see you again."

As soon as Lucas was out the door and out of sight, Sam smiled and headed back towards the office. She always knew that Peyton had a juicy past and whether Peyton liked it or not, Sam was finally going to learn it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

Lucas Scott was no fool, at least not the same fool he was in high school. Ever since he left _Anna Silver's Arts_ the other day there was something in the back of his mind that told him something wasn't quite right. There were just too many coincidences to call them, well, coincidences. The name of the art gallery to the works of art hanging on the walls, Lucas knew he was close to finding Peyton.

"Hello?" Lucas answered his cell.

"Hey, Lucas. It's Brad."

Brad Kingsway, a real estate agent, was Lucas's first roommate when he first moved to the Big Apple. They were both young bachelors at the time just trying to get by in a costly city and living in a small two bedroom apartment. Good roommates are often hard to find, but Brad and Lucas grew up in small towns. It was only natural that they bonded as they adjusted to life in the city together. Since then they remained friends, even when Brad moved out and in with his girlfriend across town.

"Hey, thanks for getting back to me."

"Yeah, sorry it took so long. I would have gotten back sooner but I was away all weekend visiting Jill's parents. So what's going on with you? How are you doing?"

"Good. Still a lowly checker at the Times, but I guess you just got to pay your dues. How about you? Are you still working for NYCDwellers?"

"Yeah, why? Got some juicy story that I should know about? A stock scandal? A company merger?" Brad joked.

Lucas laughed. "No, something personal, actually."

"Oh, well if you're looking for a place, then you have the best realtor in the city at your service. And since you're a friend, I'll even lower my commission. So what kind of place you looking for?"

"Actually, I found it. 8 West Eighth Avenue."

"In the West Village? How much are they paying you at the Times these days? That's a pretty steep area."

"Well, I'm not really buying it. I'd just like to find out who owns it."

Brad found Lucas's interest a building in the artsy area rather peculiar, but shrugged it off, "Alright, well its public information so I don't see why I can't give you a name. You said 8 West Eighth Avenue?" Brad said as he typed the information into his computer.

"Yeah."

"_Anna Silver's Arts._" Brad read off his screen.

"Yeah, that's the place." Lucas said excitedly.

"Hey, wait a second; this is about that girl, isn't it?"

"I hope so."

"Don't say another word. I understand." Brad laughed.

"Does it say who owns it?"

"I think you already know," Brad smiled. "It's owned by Peyton Sawyer."

It was her. Lucas couldn't help but smile. It was almost as if their chance encounters was fate leading them back to each other. And now that he found her, he wasn't going to wait for another coincidental run in. It was time that he took control of his destiny.

* * *

Lucas wasn't the only one taking destiny into their hands. A few days earlier, Larry Sawyer decided that sometimes fate needed a little guidance - only it wasn't his destiny that he was guiding.

"_Lucas called me the other day. He's in New York." Larry said to his daughter over the phone._

"_I know."_

"_You know? He found you?"_

"_Kinda, not really. Long story. Look, I don't really want to talk about Lucas, so can we please…"_

"_I know. And even though I think you should talk to him, I'll still change the subject just because I want to know about how your grand opening went."_

"_It was great."_

"_Just great? Come on, don't be modest now."_

_Peyton didn't really want to talk about that night with her father. If he really wanted to know how the night went, he would have made the effort to be there. Peyton wondered why she always came second to his job but she never did ask him. She would put on a smile and pretend that she was ok. But it was getting harder and very tiresome in keeping up with the façade. _

"_I sold two paintings."_

"_You don't sound too excited about that. Peyton, you know I am proud of you."_

"_Yeah." she said apathetically._

"_I really am."_

"_Yeah, I know. You tell me that all the time."_

_Larry sighed. He could hear the disappointment in her voice. "I'm sorry I missed it. I wish I could have been there." _

"_Did you even try?" the question escaped from her thoughts and flew right out of her mouth._

"_Of course I did. Why would you ask me that?"_

"_Gee, I don't know, dad. It just seems that whenever I needed you, you were never there. You always chose that stupid job over me. Last night, it was huge for me, you know. I finally made a dream come true. And I did it on my own, dad. But I didn't want to celebrate it on my own."_

_When she didn't hear her father respond, Peyton knew she had broken his heart even more. He had already felt horrible and now she made it worse. Michael had told her that getting her thoughts and feelings out about her father's absence would take the weight off of her shoulders. And it did. But what he didn't tell her was that the feeling of guilt would keep her weighted down. _

"_Dad, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."_

"_No, you had every right to. I haven't been the greatest father, have I?"_

"_No…dad. You have. You worked hard to keep a roof over my head and made sure I had enough money for school. Your job is important."_

"_It's not as important as you are. I just wish I could have shown that to you more. Well, from now on, I'm going to do just that."_

"_What do you mean?" Peyton questioned._

"_I'm going to take care of my little girl." he replied with a smile. _

Larry stood at the bow of his boat. It was where he did his best, rational thinking. As his eyes got lost in the open water, he thought about Peyton and what she wanted. He thought about Tree Hill and what she left behind. He may not have been there to help her in the past but that was about to change

* * *

Haley James-Scott emerged from the kitchen of the café and out into the dining room area where she spotted a customer sitting at the counter, "Hi, can I help you?"

"I'll have a clubhouse sandwich and fries to go." he said without looking up from his menu.

"Mr. Sawyer?"

Larry looked up and smiled, "Haley James-Scott. Hello. How are you?"

"Good. I didn't know you were back in town."

"Oh, I'm just here for a couple of days to care of some business. Then I'm back out at sea." Larry nervously played with his cell phone in his hands.

"And how's Peyton doing?" she quietly asked.

"Good. She's doing well."

It was his usual answer, but it was enough for Haley know that at least Peyton was ok. With a nod, Haley turned around and placed his order. She then busied herself with the coffee machine.

"Mr. Sawyer, can I ask you something?"

He nodded in response.

"I know I keep asking you the same questions every time I see you, but I guess I just hope that one day you'll just tell me. How I can get a hold of her? I just want to talk to her."

"I'm sorry. Look I don't know what happened between the two of you. When she's ready, she'll find a way to get in touch with you."

"Sir, it's been five years."

Larry nodded and sighed, "I know. But if I tell you where she is, then I risk losing touch with her too. I may not like her decision, but I have to respect it."

Haley understood. She covered her sadness with a smile, "OK. Well the next time you talk to her, can you tell her…tell her that I'm sorry and I miss her?"

"As always," he replied with a genuine smile. Suddenly, Larry stood up, "I'm just gonna use the restroom."

Before getting up, he set his cell phone on the counter top. He looked at Haley with a smile and a nod before heading towards the back of the café.

* * *

They stood in the middle of the office in the art gallery, both of them standing their ground like animals protecting their domain. Neither one were willing to falter first.

"I'm not going until I see her."

"Well, you're gonna wait forever because there is no Peyton Sawyer here." Sam furiously repeated herself for the third time.

"Oh yeah? Well what about the Peyton Sawyer that owns this building? I checked it out. I know she's here." Lucas stood his ground. He had already waited five years to see Peyton again and now that he had found her, he wasn't going to wait any longer.

"K, so what if she is," Sam nervously crossed her arms. Peyton was due back to the gallery soon which meant that she had to get rid of Lucas. "That doesn't mean that she wants to see you. In fact, I know she doesn't so you can just turn yourself around and go on back to the rock you crawled from."

Sam angrily lashed out at him, but Lucas remained calm and rational.

"Look, I know I hurt Peyton in the past, and obviously she told you all about it. And I know that you, being the great friend that you are, don't want me to see her again. I mean if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't either. Not unless I got to know me. Maybe hear my side of the story?"

Sam could feel herself beginning to waiver. She but she snapped out of his hold and crossed back onto Peyton's side, "Oh no, you see, Peyton also told me about how charming you can be and I'm not going to fall for that."

His ears perked, "She thinks I'm charming? What else has she told you about me?"

"Well, she thinks that you're selfish and inconsiderate. Oh wait. That's what I think about you. Peyton is just too good of a person to say it but I'm not."

"Sam, I know that you're just looking out for Peyton and you're a great friend for doing that, but you don't know me. So whether you like it or not, I'm not leaving. I just want to talk to Peyton. I miss her and I..."

"You don't get it. Not everything is about you. You don't get to pick and choose when you get to see her. If Peyton wants to see you – and I know she doesn't – then she will find you. So until then you need to respect her decision like she respected yours."

Shamefully he looked down at his feet. If he hadn't gotten the picture before, he was getting it now. It wasn't fair of him to show up at Peyton's art studio unannounced, especially after she built herself a great life for herself here in New York without him and their friends in Tree Hill. And he was the only one to blame. He had treated Peyton like she was second best, only hanging out with her when Brooke wasn't pulling at his chain. Peyton was always there for him and he took that for granted.

"I'm not that guy anymore, Sam," he sighed in defeat, "But I get it. Just tell her if I could go back and change it, I would. She deserved better. And I will wait forever just to make it up to her."

"I would," Sam shook her head in disbelief, "but unfortunately you won't have to wait forever,"

Lucas turned around and saw a surprised Peyton, at the office door, staring right back at him.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews and thoughts always welcomed!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It was just another ordinary day and Peyton had expected for the normalcy to continue, but when she stepped into the office, ordinary was no longer the word of the day.

_"I'm not that guy anymore, Sam," he sighed in defeat, "But I get it. Just tell her if I could go back and change it, I would. She deserved better. And I will wait forever just to make it up to her."_

_"I would," Sam said as she looked passed him, "but unfortunately you won't have to wait forever."_

Before walking in, she had heard voices coming from her office, but she thought nothing of it since Sam used the office when Peyton wasn't there. If only she had paid attention to the voices.

"So what are you going to do?" Sam asked, sucking Peyton back into her nightmare.

Peyton shifted her eyes from the office, where Lucas was waiting inside, back to her friend.

"Why didn't you tell me he was here?" Peyton hissed.

"He just showed up. I tried to get rid of him but he wouldn't leave. And by the looks of it, he's not going anywhere until he talks to you."

"Why can't he just leave me alone?"

"Look, maybe all you have to do is hear the guy out and then let him be on his merry way."

"You obviously don't know Lucas. There's no such thing as a _merry way_, trust me."

"And why would that be?" Sam wondered aloud, "You don't still have feelings for him, do you?"

Peyton shockingly looked at Sam but shook her head no.

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

Sam's solution was easier said than done. She didn't understand just how hard it was for Peyton to let her past go. Nor did she understand how hard it was to have it come flooding back and be waiting for you in the next room.

He could hear their hushed whispers just outside of the door but they weren't loud enough for him to eavesdrop. Instead, Lucas busied himself by looking around Peyton's office. It was kept simple and clean. The walls were decorated with a couple of hung paintings. As he looked around the room, he couldn't believe he was standing in Peyton's office. He felt proud of her for achieving one of her dreams.

At the sound of the door opening, Lucas turned around. Peyton walked in with a cold hostility following quickly behind her. Peyton wasn't smiling. Still, Lucas smiled at her.

There was something different about this Peyton Sawyer that entered the room. She looked like a professional career women dressed in fitted black pant suit. Not that there was anything wrong with her clothing, but it didn't match the edgier style of the Peyton Sawyer he knew. This woman looked older, more grown up. Maybe it was the clothes or maybe it was being on her own for the past five years that made her grow up and mature so fast.

There was perhaps one thing that didn't change. The bitterness that followed Peyton into the room didn't surprise Lucas one bit. In fact, he almost welcomed it, after all, the stubborn sarcasm that came with her brooding moods, which was also known as her self-destructing, protective walls, was who Peyton was. Seeing it and seeing her again let Lucas know that somewhere under this new Peyton Sawyer was still the old Peyton Sawyer he always knew and loved.

"Hi," Lucas greeted as he nervously shoved his hands into his pockets.

Her death glare answered him.

"You know, I've been looking for you." Lucas continued.

"Well, you found me and now you can leave." she added a curtly smile.

Lucas didn't bat an eye and ignored her surliness, "Well, looks like you've been doing well for yourself. That's good. I'm glad. For you, I mean. I've always wondered..."

"Really? Cause I remember you saying that you could care less about me anymore." she twisted his words back at him.

"I didn't mean it, Peyt, you know that," he took his hands out of his pockets and walked towards her, "I was confused that night when Haley told me that you were leaving. I was upset and disappointed in myself for ruining our friendship. The truth is I miss you, Peyton. I was selfish and if I had the chance to handle things differently, I would.

But I can't go back and change things. All I can do now is make things right. I know I don't deserve a second chance and you can call me selfish for asking, I don't care, but Peyton, I want you back in my life. I want a chance to fix this. Please."

The longer she looked into his sincere eyes, the more difficult it became for her to say no. When she finally managed to look away, her eyes fell on his naked ring finger. There was no wedding band. Suddenly it was easy to say no now.

"So Brooke divorces your sorry ass and now you want me back in your life," A bitter laugh escaped from her lips, "It all makes sense now."

Lucas shook his head. She had it all wrong. "I didn't marry Brooke."

The news surprised Peyton. "Then who…who did you marry?"

"No one."

"I don't get it. When you called me two years ago..."

"I...I just couldn't go through with it, at least not with you not being there," he almost laughed, "It wasn't right."

Peyton scoffed, "Then I guess you'll never get married because I'm never going to a Lucas Scott wedding."

"That's not what I meant."

"Look, I don't care what you meant. You said what you had to say and now I just want you out of here so I go back to my normal life."

"Peyton, I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. If you could just please forgive me then maybe…"

She cut him off, "I forgave you a long time ago."

"What?"

She turned away from him and made her way to her desk. She pulled the top drawer open, took out a large black book and quickly flipped through the pages. It was her sketchbook. A few pages later, Peyton ripped out a page and handed it to Lucas.

He furrowed a brow before taking the sketch. It was a drawing of a torn photograph. Haley and Lucas were smiling on one side of the photo, while the sketch of Peyton was on the other side of the torn photo. He disappointingly stared at the drawing.

"Forgiveness means letting go of the past." he read the caption.

"And now you can move on too."

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does change the future." Lucas countered with an anonymous quote of his own.

Peyton rolled her eyes. Leave it to the literary king to come up with a line on the spot.

"Look, me forgiving you doesn't mean that we're friends."

"Maybe not now, but anything's possible in the future, right?" his voice was filled with hope. "Peyt, we've shared so many good times together – our nightly talks, the road trip along the coast, walks on the beach, sleeping outside the record store to buy Matthew Ryan tickets the next morning – it's got to count for something, right? I mean you can't throw the hundreds of days or the thousands of hours we spent together for just one mistake."

"Sure, we had good times together, but when I needed you the most, where were you?"

Guilt and regret filled his being. There just weren't any words for Lucas to find. Lucky for him, Sam knocked on the door and poked her head in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a call on line one. I told her to call back but every time I hang up, she calls right back."

Peyton nodded, "Ok, I'll take it."

Lucas took a step back, but didn't leave the room. He wasn't going to give up.

"Hello, Peyton here."

"H…hi Peyton. It's me, Haley," Haley spoke quickly, "Before you hang up, just hear me out."

Peyton couldn't believe the day she was having. It certainly was let-the-past-come-crashing-back-on-Peyton day.

"God, I don't know where to begin…I just…I know I'm probably one of the last people you expected to hear from," Haley let out an uneasy laugh, "Um…your dad left his cell phone at the café…so yeah, I pretty much stole your number."

Peyton cursed her father in her head. Accidentally losing his cell phone while he was in Tree Hill certainly was beginning to become more than just a habit with him.

"Please don't kill your dad…or me. Just… I just really wanted to talk to you. I need you to know that I'm sorry. For everything I said or didn't say to you. And I want to make things right. I think you should talk to Luke."

Peyton went pale, "About what exactly?"

"About the way you feel about him. He doesn't know, but you have to tell him, Peyton."

"No," Peyton turned her back to Lucas and quietly hissed, "I don't have to tell him anything."

"I've thought about this a lot Peyton and you have to tell him. I don't know if you know, but Lucas is in New York and he's been looking for you."

"I know," Peyton said as she turned back around and looked at Lucas who was staring at her, wondering who she was talking to.

"Then tell him how you feel. It's not just one sided anymore, Peyton."

"You're right it's not," Peyton finally agreed, her voice slightly rising, "Things have changed. I've changed."

"That's not what I meant." Haley corrected.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she took a breath to calm herself, "I'm tired of all this, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm tired of not having you as a friend. I'm tired of being caught in the middle and keeping everything in. And most of all, I'm tired of knowing that the two of you are so unhappy without each other."

"Well, that's where you're wrong. If you were in my life, you'd know that I'm happy. I'm happy with my life here in New York. I'm happy with my job. And I'm happy with Michael, my boyfriend."

The phone and the office went quiet. Both Lucas and Haley, although miles apart, wore the same shocked faces. Peyton wasn't sure if she was enjoying the moment, but she definitely was going to take advantage of their silence and finally let her former friends hear what she had bottled up for years. Peyton spoke to Haley through the phone while directly looking at Lucas. She was speaking to the both of them.

"You know, you guys are unbelievable. _'Brooke's gone, oh let's go be friends with Peyton now'._ No, forget it. You can't just come barging back into my life only when it's convenient for you. The last time I checked, real friends are supposed to be there for each other, no matter what," Tears began to fall as the pain of loneliness resurfaced. "Even if I had disappointed you, a good friend would have still been there to talk to me or at least tried to help me through it. Neither one of you were there. You both just bailed."

Peyton held the phone out to Lucas, "I think **_your_** friend needs a friend right now."

Lucas hesitantly took the phone. He put the phone to his ear and heard a girl crying, "Peyton, I'm sorry.

"Haley? Is that you?"

She stopped crying and recognized the voice, "Lucas?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Peyton knew that with Lucas distracted on the phone with Haley, he wouldn't follow her.

Lucas looked up just in time to see Peyton walk out the door. He took a step towards her, but he heard Haley's voice through the phone.

"Oh, please tell me that you at least told her."

"No," Lucas sighed and leaned against the desk. Accidentally, a framed photo fell over. Lucas turned and picked it up. It was a photo of Peyton and a guy Lucas didn't recognize, probably Michael. Their arms were wrapped comfortably around each other as they posed for the camera.

His finger traced the outline of her face. Peyton was smiling and obviously having a great time. Michael, whoever this guy was made Peyton happy. He made her smile.

"God, what was I thinking?"

"Well, you know with Peyton, nothing is ever easy."

"Not that. She's right, Hales. I can't just come back into her life and ruin everything for her. I blew it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm too late." Lucas put the picture back into its place.

"What? No, Lucas, you can't give up now. At least not until you tell her how you feel."

"It doesn't matter what I feel anymore. All I want for her is to be happy. She deserves it and if it's with another guy...then so be it. God knows how much pain I already put her through."

"That's bullshit and you know it. So stop playing the hero, Luke. If you truly love her, then you fight for her. When are you going to realize that you don't give up on the person you love, especially when all they want is just for you to love them back."

"She doesn't love me like that,"

Haley bit her lip as if she were trying to keep the secret in. She wanted to tell Lucas that Peyton loved him, but what if Peyton was telling the truth? What if Peyton had moved on? Haley couldn't give Lucas false hope. "You don't know that for sure, Luke. Look, just promise me that you'll at least try."

Five years had passed without Peyton in his life and he knew he couldn't bear to go through another five years without her. Even if they were just friends, he wouldn't care, just as long as she was in his life, "Alright, I'll try."

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Peking Duck House - 22 Mott Street, New York City  
**  
The Chinatown restaurant was busy as usual for a Friday night. Hungry patrons filled all of the tables while hungrier customers waited in the long line at the front entrance. Fortunately, Michael had made reservations, which got them a table rather quickly, but they still had to wait to order as servers hustled around the large dining room. Waiting wasn't a problem for Peyton, however, she had other things on her mind. She stared quietly down at her steaming green tea while Michael studied her carefully.

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" Michael asked.

Peyton snapped out of her thoughts, "Huh?"

"About us living together? You've been acting strange all week, Peyton. I mean is this about moving your art supplies…"

"No. No, I'm not having second thoughts about living together, although my art room…we'll talk about that later," she put on a smile and reached for his hand. "It's just been a weird week."

"Care to talk about it?"

Communication was one of the key ingredients to any relationship, but Peyton found herself pausing and carefully choosing her words, "I saw an old friend that I thought I'd never see again last week and I was just surprised. That's all."

"An old friend or old boyfriend?"

Honesty was another important element that made a relationship work, but Peyton still had trouble answering his question. Were Lucas and Peyton ever officially a couple? Not really. They did have a short affair, but Lucas was never technically her boyfriend and that was what Michael was asking.

"Lucas? No. We um…we were friends, but then long story short, we lost touch. Look, I don't really want to talk about him. Tonight is just about us and…you've got to be kidding me."

He was puzzled by her widening eyes. Michael turned his head and looked behind him, where Peyton was looking.

"Peyton?" a tall blonde haired man said as he came up to their table, "I thought that was you."

All cheerfulness faded from her face, "Lucas? What are you doing here?"

Michael eyed Lucas carefully before looking over at Peyton. Feeling the strange tension that had arrived with Lucas, Michael leaned over towards Peyton, "Are you ok?"

"Um…Michael, this is Lucas. Lucas this is Michael, my boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you." Lucas offered his hand which Michael politely shook.

"Yes, you too. So you're the old friend that's gotten Peyton brooding all week."

"I was not brooding all week."

Lucas chuckled, "I'm sorry. I must have surprised her that's all."

"Ambushed was more like it." she muttered to no one's ears.

Michael, oblivious to the Lucas and Peyton history, continued the conversation with Lucas, "How long have the two of you known each other?"

"All our lives, but we didn't become friends till high school."

"Is that right? You know, why don't you join us Lucas? I'm sure you have some stories you'd like to share about my girl here."

Lucas cringed. His girl. In the years he had known Peyton, he knew that she hated being referred to as someone else's property.

Peyton cringed. Her past. In the years she had known Lucas, she knew that he loved telling embarrassing stories, especially ones she didn't want to remember.

"Actually, I'm here with a friend," Lucas motioned over to the front entrance where a pretty blonde woman was holding their spot in line for a table, "but I'd love to…"

Peyton rolled her eyes. Figures Lucas had a date. He was still attractive and despite what happened, Lucas was still a great guy with that boyish charm that every girl fell in love with.

"Well, we have lots of room here and we haven't even ordered yet. We can double date," Michael innocently gestured which caused Lucas to grin and Peyton's face to brew with annoyance. It was obvious that Peyton remembered the last time she went on a double date with Lucas.

Peyton quickly said, "Oh Michael, we shouldn't intrude on Lucas' date. Maybe some other time."

"Well, the dining room is packed," Lucas pointed out, "and it'll probably be a good while before we get a table. I think I might take you up on your offer, Michael. Let me go get Jill."

Lucas walked away and Peyton leaned across the table and smacked him on the arm.

"Are you insane? A double date?"

Michael was taken aback by her sudden mood change. "Sorry, I didn't know it'd bother you this much. I thought you and Lucas were old friends."

Peyton sighed. Had she been honest about her relationship and old feelings with Lucas, this scenario could have been avoided. "I'm sorry. I...I guess I just wanted you all to myself tonight."

He held her hand, "Well after dinner we can go to Serendipity's. Just the two of us, ok?"

She had no choice but to agree and nod her head. At lease she had some frozen hot chocolate to look forward to, that is if this night didn't end up as a disaster first.

* * *

Peyton turned beet red. The truth about her being a punk rocking cheerleader was out. The stories Lucas was telling were mortifying but they at least kept her mind off the diamond engagement ring that sat on Jill's left ring finger.

"But as much as she pretended to hate it, I think Peyton really did have fun with it. Her mother was a cheerleader."

"Is that right?" Michael asked.

Peyton smiled at the thought of her mother. "Yeah, she was."

The table fell quiet just as their server brought over their dishes. The smell of the Peking duck, stir fried vegetables, pan fried noodles and sizzling prawns was mouth watering. With chopsticks in hand, they were ready to feast when a cell phone went off. The four of them dug through their pockets or purses.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jill said as she pulled out her ringing phone, "It's probably my fiancée. Brad said he'd call when he landed in San Diego. Go ahead and start without me." she said as she excused herself from the table.

"You're not her fiancée?" Peyton quizzed Lucas.

Lucas laughed, "You thought…No, no, no. Jill is engaged to my old roommate."

Another annoying intermittent beep suddenly went off. This time it was Michael's pager that interrupted their dinner and conversation.

"Shoot. I got to call the hospital. I'll be right back."

And just like that, there were just two left.

Lucas watched Peyton play with her napkin in her lap, avoiding his stare at all costs,

"Looks like it's just you and me, again."

She just raised her glaring eyes, "There is no you and me. And Michael will be right back."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. If you want me to go, I'll go."

Peyton was frustrated with him and the situation, but she didn't really want him to go. She didn't want to have to explain things to Michael. "No, just stay for dinner and then we'll go back to the way things were."

His nod and smile of hope told her that she had to further explain herself.

"And by 'the way things were', I mean that you and me go back to our separate lives."

"Peyton," Peyton looked up to see Michael coming back, looking apologetically. "I'm sorry. That was Clark. Remember those three rounds I owe him?"

"You're kidding.

"Afraid not. I have to cover his shift tonight. I'm sorry."

"We didn't even have dinner yet."

Forgetting that Lucas was there for the moment, Michael leaned in and whispered into Peyton's ear. She responded with an embarrassed smile. They looked at each other. Peyton nodded and Michael proceeded to give her a peck on the lips but Peyton let the kiss linger. They had forgotten they were in a public place for a moment and that Lucas was at the table. Or at least he was. Michael was the first to notice that Lucas's chair was now empty.

"You wouldn't mind taking Peyton… Lucas? Where'd he go?"

Michael shrugged. He didn't have time to wait, "Promise me you'll ask him to take you home?"

"Michael I'm a big girl."

He took out his wallet and handed Peyton money to pay for dinner, "I know, but this is also a big city. I can't help it if I worry. Just ask him, please?"

"Fine."

"I'll see you at home, Peyton. Tell Lucas and Jill bye for me." he said as he rushed off to the hospital.

Peyton nodded and hid her disappointment with a smile. Once again Peyton found herself all alone again.

* * *

"You're a great friend, Lucas." Jill said as she leaned over to give him a hug.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…you just hate eating alone." Lucas shyly brushed it off.

Jill turned and looked at Peyton who was sitting in the backseat of the car. "It was nice to meet you, Peyton and Michael as well. Tell Michael thanks for dinner."

Peyton smiled politely, "Yeah, I will. It was nice meeting you too."

They waited for Jill to safely enter her building before Lucas started the car back up. He looked in his review mirror.

"Wanna keep me company up here?"

"Nope."

"Come on. I'll let you control the radio."

The offer was tempting. Having music on in a car ride was her number one rule, no matter how short or long the ride was. The only catch was she had to sit upfront with him, something she didn't want to do because she knew in some way he would get her talk to him. And that wasn't going to happen.

Lucas shrugged and turned the radio off when she didn't respond. She turned to glare at him. Her arms folded across her chest like a sulking child. He pulled the car away from the curb and back onto the busy streets of New York. The silence was killing her already.

"You know, if you would have turned right back there like I told you to do, we wouldn't be stuck in this traffic jam." she angrily said.

"You always were a back seat driver," he joked, "Some things just don't change do they?"

Her eyes rolled. They barely moved two feet in the last five minutes. The honking of the frustrated city drivers were beginning to get to her. She would do anything to drown them out, even sit up front with Lucas.

"Move," she pushed him over to his left as she stepped over the console and into the passenger seat of the car. Lucas couldn't help but grin as she immediately turned the radio on and began searching for a decent radio station.

"Seat belt." he annoyingly reminded.

Reluctantly she buckled herself in.

"Happy?"

"For now."

Not one good song was playing at that moment. All that came through the speakers were commercials, static, or talk shows. Her frustration grew. There she was, trapped in a car with Lucas Scott and not one good song was playing to make her forget where she was.

"Got any decent CDs?"

He thought for a moment. Then he looked away. "No."

The only times he never looked at her as he spoke were when he was either lying or was ashamed of telling her something. Peyton began searching around through his console and in the visors.

"What are you doing?"

"You used to be one of my friends and if there's one thing I teach my friends, it's to keep at least one CD in the car for emergencies. So I know you have CDs in the car somewhere."

"Peyton..." he saw her going for the glove box, "Stop...don't open..."

"I always knew you were a liar," she said when she saw the book of CDs.

Lucas sighed, "Fine."

He didn't want to lie to her, but he also didn't want to show her the CDs he had, at least not yet. Peyton took the CD booklet and started to leaf through the sleeves. It was like a blast from the past. She recognized each and every one of the CDs. Each one was personally labelled by her artistic hand. They were the mix CDs she had given him when they were on good terms.

"You...you kept them?"

Lucas nodded, "Every single one of them."

"Why?"

Truth be told, he kept everything she had given him. He had the box to prove it. Unfortunately, she never knew about it and she would never learn about it, at least not that night.

"They're the best CDs I have." he said with a shrug.

"Liar," Peyton pulled out a CD, "When I gave this one to you, you said 'Why ruin an awesome mix with an Air Supply song?'"

"I did not say that."

"You so did."

"Ok, so maybe I was too proud to admit it, but Sweet Dreams isn't such a bad song."

_There's not much time to tell you  
Half the things I should  
Only that I'm so glad I fell in love with you  
And I'd do it again if I could_

The lyrics sang in her head. Peyton knew them well. Almost every song she burned for him meant something to her. He didn't know it then and he probably didn't even know it now. She shut the book and put it back into the glove box as the trip down memory lane was beginning to get to her. Peyton reached for the radio.

"Wait." Lucas excitedly said as he smacked her hand away.

"Ow!"

"Shhh! Listen," he turned the volume up.

_Joey, baby_

The radio sang. Then, an off key Lucas joined in.

"… don't get crazy. Detours. Fences... I get defensive."

He smirked at her and coaxed her to join in. If there was something in their two different worlds that could reconnect them, it was music. Peyton couldn't help but laugh at his terrible voice. Then finally, when the chorus started, Peyton found herself singing at the top of her lungs.

Two and half songs later, Lucas pulled up to her brownstone and turned the radio down.

"So this wasn't that bad now was it?"

"Could've been worse."

"Would it be ok if we got a cup of coffee sometime?"

Seemingly, it was a good way for two old friends to catch up, but Peyton knew it wasn't such a good idea. "Lucas…"

"It's just coffee, Peyt. I'll even spring for brownies."

Peyton was still uncertain with the idea of spending more time with him.

"I'll even let you in insult me." his boyish smile appeared.

His offer was even more tempting. "You're not gonna give up are you?"

"On you? Never."

She knew she should have just said no and got out of the car, but she found herself still sitting there. "You're an ass," she smirked, "See, I can insult you anytime I want."

"Yeah, but now you can do it with free coffee and brownies."

She bit her lower lip as she contemplated. Her guard was lowering, "Alright, stop by the gallery sometime next week."

He nodded and his grin grew wider, "I'll be seeing you."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Thanks to all of you for keeping up with story and for leaving a kind review.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

The past always has a way of coming back, no matter how hard you try to ignore it and pretend none of it happened. Even if you run and try to hide from it, it'll find you and catch you. The past is haunting. It's inescapable. It's a part of who you are and it's what made you who you are today. And for Peyton Sawyer, the past was just beginning to catch up with her, even if she didn't realize it.

"So somebody's been spending a lot of time with Lucas," Sam said as she entered Peyton's office. "He just called and said he'll pick you up after work."

"Ok thanks, Sam."

Peyton continued eying the art samples spread across her desk while Sam made herself comfortable in the black leather chair that was placed adjacent to the desk. Silence echoed in the room as Sam watched Peyton work. Carefully, she studied her blonde friend.

Usually when there was another guy in a girl's life, the girl's friend could tell just by looking at her. The ultimate signs a friend would notice could be anything from seeing the girl smile for no reason at all to humming love songs without even realizing it. But alas to Sam, who didn't mind some juicy gossip, Peyton showed no symptoms of a new guy in her life. The only thing Sam could spot that was different was Peyton's hair. It was down and curly, which wasn't really much of a sign, but perhaps it was for a girl who never wore her hair down to work.

The hell with it. If Sam wanted to get the dirt on what was going on with Peyton and Lucas, she was just going to dig because even if there was something going on, Peyton Sawyer just wasn't the type to wear her heart on her sleeve.

"I don't get it." Sam stated.

"Get what?" Peyton absentmindedly asked.

"Well, last week you were avoiding the guy at all costs. I mean you had me impersonate you as Anna Silver for heaven's sake and now…you're dating him?"

Peyton stopped working, paused to process what she heard, then stared at Sam with disbelief. "Dating? No. Lucas and I are not dating."

"K, let's recap here. A couple of weeks ago the two of you went for coffee – twice. Then a few days ago you guys went for lunch together and now the two of you are going out again. Sounds like dating to me."

Laughing, Peyton shook her head and repeated, "We are not dating."

"Oh no?" Sam challenged, "So where are you guys going tonight? Just the two of you?"

"For your information, we're going to stop at the record store then walk over to the Met."

"Correct me if I'm wrong. When you say walk over to the Met, do you mean walk through Central Park?"

"Yes." Peyton answered quietly.

"Hmm…sounds like a date to me."

"You know Lucas and I used to hang out all the time – as friends – and that's what we're doing – hanging out as friends."

"Yeah, but you also used to be in love with this 'friend'." Sam air-quoted the word friend.

"Yeah, but the key words now are 'used to'. You see I'm living with this guy named Michael who's also my boyfriend or did you forget that?"

"Oh no, I remember. I just wondered if you remembered your hot doctor boyfriend."

"K, Sam, for the last time, Lucas and I are just friends. I know that, he knows that and Michael knows that. So can we please just drop this ridiculous conversation?"

"After one more question. For years you didn't want to talk to him. The two of you basically cut each other out of each other's lives You even swore you didn't want Lucas back into your life but now all of a sudden, you want him back in your life, why? And be honest with me, your friend, who's just being your friend and won't repeat whatever you say."

"Cause I'm not angry anymore. And I'll even admit that Lucas is a great friend to have in your life. Kinda like you."

"Yeah, except you don't want to kiss me." Sam smirked.

Peyton balled up a piece of paper and threw it at her friend, "Sam!"

Sam laughed and jumped out of her seat. She knew she had already pushed enough buttons for the day. She had over stayed her welcome.

"I have to get back to work, I'll let you know when your _date_ arrives." Sam teased one last time before closing the door behind her, leaving Peyton to mull over her relationship with Lucas some more.

* * *

After checking on his children, who were contently playing in their rooms, Nathan came down the stairs and followed the sound of the soft strumming of Haley's guitar. He couldn't help but smile at his beautiful wife. By the doorway he stood, watching contently and listening to Haley's new tune.

"That doesn't sound like a happy song." Nathan said, announcing his presence.

Haley sighed and gave the guitar one last final strum before putting the instrument down. "I just called Lucas. He and Peyton are hanging out more."

"And you're hurt that she's letting him back into her life and not you." Nathan reasoned aloud as he sat down beside her on the sofa.

"I am but that's not what's bothering me. I mean I know in time Peyton and I will get our chance to work things out, but Lucas…" Haley sadly leaned her head on her husband's shoulder.

"Hasn't said anything yet." he finished her sentence.

"He says it wouldn't be fair to Peyton. Plus if he says something, he's scared it'll ruin the friendship they're trying to get back. And he doesn't want to lose her again. What do we do Nate?"

"Nothing," Haley shot her head up and looked at him for an explanation, "Hey, I feel bad for Luke too but I don't think there's anything we can do. You can't force him or Peyton to do anything they don't want to do. Besides, I hate to be the one who says it but Peyton moved on. Maybe it's time Lucas did too."

"Nathan, do you really believe that? I mean think about the past seven years or so – Peyton was so in love with Lucas – do you really think that Peyton just suddenly stopped feeling that?"

"I don't think it was sudden. This whole thing is more complicated that it seems but the bottom line is that she's been on her own for a long time now and you know, before Peyton left Tree Hill, she didn't have anyone to move on with, but now she does. Look I just don't want to give Lucas the hope that Peyton will jump into his arms and they'll get their fairytale ending he wants. I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen."

Before Haley could respond, a little voice yelled from upstairs, "Dad!"

He kissed his wife before leaving her for father duty.

"Hey, what's wrong, buddy?" Nathan said as he entered his eldest son's room.

"Nothing. I was just looking at your school picture book," Cooper replied and held out a piece of paper, "And I found this."

"Let me see,"

The young father sat on the floor beside his son. As the smaller Scott handed him the picture he found hidden between the pages, "What is it dad?"

Nathan's eyes widened with surprise. It was Peyton's sketch. He remembered seeing it pinned to her door when he paid her a visit when Haley left him with Chris Keller to go on tour with the Wreckers. Peyton had given him sketches before, but he never remembered receiving this one. His thoughts wandered back to the past when he first saw the drawing.

"_So, uh,… you and Jagielski. What's the deal? You two, uh… you together?" he asked suddenly._

_With a forced smile, Peyton answered, "No. W-we're just… I don't really know what we are."_

_He raised a brow at her as he picked up a shirt belonging to Jake. "Looks, uh… looks pretty serious to me."_

_She shook her head, "Not really. I don't think there's a possibility for me and Jake for… a lot of reasons."_

_"Yeah, trust me, you're better off anyway. Love sucks."_

_"Nathan…"_

_"No, think about it - Dan and Karen, you and Lucas…" he paused and saw Peyton look away, "…me and Haley."_

_Peyton didn't respond. She hadn't corrected him. And they both knew why. Although it was Jake who Peyton wanted to be with at the time, it was Lucas who was still in her heart, even though he had left her_. _It was the same thing he was going through and it was probably the same thing Karen went through when the loves of their lives left them behind._

_Nathan sighed and looked at the sketches hanging on the door. At the time, there was only one that caught his attention._

"_You got it right, Peyton. People always leave."_

He never thought about that time much. It was a part of his life he wasn't very proud of, but what he did remember was the support and encouragement that he got from Peyton. She had been there for him and she was the one who gave him back the hope that just because they weren't together didn't mean they stopped loving each other. And sometimes it was enough to make them come back.

"What does it say, dad?" Cooper interrupted his father's thoughts.

"People always leave." Nathan answered.

"And on the other side?"

Nathan wrinkled a brow as he turned the sketch over to find a letter written to him.

* * *

"You know, I missed this. Hanging out with you."

"Yeah, I am good company, aren't I?" she joked.

He didn't laugh. Instead he wondered if she missed him too. He wondered because they never talked about the past unless she wanted to. It was one of the conditions she made him promise her before agreeing to start over with their friendship.

She picked up on his silence and knew what he was thinking. "I missed you too," Peyton, looking straight ahead, didn't see his face light up, "You know what I missed the most? Our late night conversations in my room. Remember those?"

Lucas nodded.

"There were some nights where I didn't even care how pissed off I was with you. I still wished that you would come over. I wished that you would have chosen me instead."

The world continued around him, but her surprising admission made him stop dead in his tracks. It took an odd look from a stranger passing by to make Peyton realize that she was walking alone and talking to nobody. Confused and slightly embarrassed, she looked around to find Lucas a few feet behind her.

"Lucas?" she walked back to him, noticing his frozen expression. "Are you ok?"

"There were some nights where I almost did."

"Did what?"

If she was going to be honest, then it was only fair for him to reveal some secrets of his own.

"When we stopped talking, I used to drive over to your house."

"You did?"

"It didn't feel right when I couldn't see you or talk to you. I wanted to fix us. I had every intention of going in to talk to you, but I would just end up sitting in my car. A couple of times I did make it to your front door, though."

"Oh," she said softly. Despite what she thought about him back then, the truth was that he still cared about her. "What made you stop? I mean why didn't you come up?"

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know. I was scared, I guess. You were already pissed off and closed off. I thought maybe if I gave you some time to cool off, it'd be easier for me to get through to you again."

"For what it's worth, even if you would have found the courage to come in, I still would have thrown you out."

"Yeah, I wouldn't doubt that," he agreed. "I never expected you to leave though. And I regret letting you leave the way you did. Peyton I…"

"I don't," she interrupted, "And you shouldn't regret it either. Everything happens for a reason, Luke."

"Peyton…"

Before he could drudge up anything else up from the past to the surface, Peyton cut him off once more.

"Look, Luke, we agreed to bury the hatchet. So there's no point on dwelling on what once was. It's done and it's over. Now let's move on. I mean we're both here in the City and I'll admit it is nice to have a familiar face around – even if it is yours."

"Oh, well as long as we're being honest - admit that you love looking at this face of mine."

"Yeah, I do actually. It makes me laugh."

He pretended to be offended. "Ouch. Really, Peyton. Right here," Lucas placed his hand over his heart, "It hurts."

Playfully she pushed him and giggled. "Dude, shut up. Come on, walk me home."

As soon as she closed her front door, the phone rang. Quickly, she kicked off her heels and walked through the living room for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sawyer."

"Nathan?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

**_I won't leave you out of my will  
But I will leave you out of my mind - for now_**

To say the very least, Nathan and Peyton had an unusual relationship.

As a couple, they were toxic for one another. He never paid attention to her nor did he care about her problems. She was too wrapped up in her own drama-filled life to notice that he had some problems of his own. Together, they were just on a road to self-destruction without a care in the world for other people.

As friends, they saw each other in a different light. They understood each other and supported one another. Whenever Nathan needed someone to talk to, Peyton was there listening. And when Peyton needed someone to talk to but was too afraid to open up, Nathan talked while subtly pushing her in the right direction. Together, they were the best of friends

"Talk to me, Peyton."

She knew where this was going. They had talked about nearly everything under the sun except for Lucas. "You know we've been talking for almost two hours, Nate. What else is there to talk about?"

"Well, we're just making up for lost time. There's plenty to talk about," he pointed out, "Like, what's going on inside of that heart of yours?"

"Sounds like you've already heard about Michael." she smiled.

"Hmmm… Michael? Doesn't ring a bell. Must be some guy you met during that time you decided to 'find yourself because you couldn't wait any longer.'"

"Haha, very funny. I knew I would regret writing that letter to you. Besides, I don't even remember what I wrote."

"Well then I'll happily remind you," he chuckled as he read, "'I'm scared that Lucas will always be in my heart…'"

"K, would you stop with the letter?" her face grew red, half in embarrassment and the other half in irritation.

"Alright, alright," he stopped laughing and got serious. Nathan knew he had to be careful. There was only so much pushing he could do before Peyton would get annoyed and hang up on him. "I'm always on your side, Peyt. And you can talk to me about anything, any time."

"Thanks, Nate."

One of the reasons she loved talking to Nathan was that their conversations never stayed serious for too long. "But as a friend, I also reserve the right to tease you and your letter…"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "It was just a silly little high school crush I had on him. That's all."

"A high school crush that lasted to college? A crush that broke up your friendship with Brooke. A crush that…"

"Ok, I get your point. It was a little longer than high school. But it doesn't change the fact that it was a long time ago and things aren't exactly the same."

"So, you're telling me that you're completely over him."

"Nate," she sighed, "honestly, I do love him. I always have and I probably always will, but just as a friend."

"Good," he said firmly before cracking a smile, "Because when Lucas reads this letter…"

"NO!" Peyton shrieked into the phone. "Nathan, if ANYONE, especially Lucas, ever sees that letter, so help me…"

"Relax Sawyer," Nathan laughed, "Your letter is safe with me. But um…why be so secretive if it's just some silly high school crush?"

"Because…because it's embarrassing."

"Yeah, having a crush on my brother kinda would be. I wouldn't admit it either. He's not exactly the greatest catch either. Too bad Brooke found out the hard why."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"No, tell me. What did you mean by that?"

"I think maybe it's something you should ask him…"

**_I won't be there to break your sweet heart  
But not being there might break your sweet heart_**

"Do you mind if I asked you something?" Lucas asked, snapping Peyton out of her thoughts.

"Uh, no, go ahead." she said.

"You've been pretty quiet tonight."

"Oh, I was just thinking."

"About the concert or something totally different?"

"Both?" Peyton sighed. "I can't believe you managed to get tickets for _The Reindeer Section._ And you," her face lit up as she remembered the reason why they scored awesome seats for the sold out show, "You get to write your first article on the show. How amazing is that?"

"Pretty amazing." he smiled.

"Thank you, Lucas. For asking me to come with you. The concert was…"

Peyton couldn't find the words to describe the concert and she didn't have to. Lucas felt the same way.

"Yeah, it was," Lucas smiled as he remembered watching Peyton enjoying the music. He had watched her nearly the entire time. "I'm just glad you came."

"Well, how could I pass it up? It was sold out and besides, it's not like I can drag Michael to a concert. Let's just say he's not a concert go-er."

"Really? Hmm…go figure the doctor isn't so perfect after all."

"Shut up," she jokingly pushed him, "He prefers Classical music. There's nothing wrong with that. Besides Classical music is like the great grandfather of music you hear today."

Lucas couldn't hold in his laughter of disbelief, "Please tell me that was Michael's excuse."

Peyton blushed, "Yeah it was, but it's true, you know."

"Well yeah, but that's music without lyrics? I mean the lyrics just make the melody better."

"Or the singer could suck and totally ruin it."

"Like Britney Spears?"

"Oh that was just mean. But so true."

The two blondes continued walking down the street of the quiet New York neighbourhood. He walked carefree, enjoying her company. She walked with a cloud of questions hanging heavily on her mind.

"So, um," Peyton started the beginning of an uneasy topic, "Nathan called me the other day."

"Oh," Lucas nervously swallowed, "What'd he say?"

"Haley's brooding."

Lucas laughed, "Haley, brooding? I thought we were the only ones who did that."

"Yeah." Peyton absentmindedly agreed.

He quickly caught on that she was bothered by something else, "Maybe you should call her. Talk to her."

**_If I could cradle you into my arms  
I would cradle you tight in my arms - always_**

"I will. But not right now."

"Peyton, for what it's worth, I know Haley is sorry for whatever happened between the two of you. She loves you, you know."

"I know. But it's not that. I mean it wasn't her fault. She just got caught in the middle of something."

"In the middle of what?"

"Luke, can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"I have nothing to hide from you, Peyton."

Peyton nervously played with her hands. She herself wasn't sure if she wanted to ask the questions, but Nathan insisted that she did. And to make sure that she did, Nathan told her something that he probably shouldn't have.

"What happened between you and Brooke?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about that."

"I don't. Or didn't, but now I do."

Lucas shrugged, "I realized that we weren't right for each other."

"But you asked her to marry you."

He nodded, "I loved Brooke. She's a great girl, but I wasn't in love with her."

"Were you in love with someone else?"

"Yeah."

Peyton fell silent, not wanting to finish the conversation. She had opened Pandora's Box and Lucas wasn't going to let her close it so easily.

"Aren't you going to ask who?" he asked, daring her.

Peyton shook her head. She had a feeling who it was already.

"Nathan told you, didn't he? He told you that I was in love with you. That I said your name instead of Brooke's when I was saying my vows."

Ten seconds of surprised silence took over their conversation. She could only stare at him with shock. By the look of her face, he knew he had said too much. Nathan hadn't told her what happened at the Altar. He had left that part out.

"What?" she finally muttered.

"Not one of my proudest moments." he tried to joke it off.

"Look, I should get home."

Peyton scurried off alone, but Lucas followed in quick pursuit. When he caught up to the fleeing blonde, he turned her around to face him.

"No. You can't avoid this now, Peyton. Not when you're the one who brought it up."

"What difference does it make? It's in the past." she said softly with tears threatening to fall.

"That's what you keep saying. But it's not in the past," He closed the gap between them. Cradling her face in his hands, he looked deep into her soul, "I love you Peyton. I'm still in love with you."

Her bottom lip trembled and pushed him away. He couldn't love her. Not now. Not ever. It wasn't fair. "No, you don't. You can't."

"Why not?" he reached for her again but she pulled back.

"Because I…I can't. I love Michael," She watched as his heart shattered right in front of her. "I've moved on, Luke. I'm sorry."

Alone, Lucas stood on the sidewalk as he watched Peyton choose to walk away from him.

**_So don't be scared of all the hurtful words  
Cause in the end they'll hurt themselves much more_**

* * *

**A/N**: The song used is called _You Are My Joy_ by _The Reindeer Section_ (Gary Lightbody's Scotish indie supergroup).


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 **

It had been days since Peyton walked away from Lucas. It was also the last time she spoke to him, but it wasn't the last time she heard his voice. Over and over his words played in her head, like a broken record.

"I get it now." Sam said, barging into Peyton's office.

"Get what? The fact that people knock before entering a room? Cause I don't think you've mastered that just yet." Peyton said, momentarily looking up at Sam annoyingly.

"Since I've figured out why you've been so moody and cranky these past couple of days, I'm going to ignore that look of yours," she said as she settled herself into the chair in front of Peyton's desk. "You're pregnant."

Now she really felt sick. "I'm what?"

"Well, it explains your moody and crankiness all week. And earlier today you said you felt nauseous – as in morning sickness, maybe?"

"No. I'm not pregnant. Don't be ridiculous."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

"Alright, fine. I was actually hoping you were because now, unfortunately, it leads me to scenario number two: you're having a lover's quarrel."

"Wrong again. Michael and I are fine."

"Not that lover. The other one. Lucas."

"Sam…"

"He called again. Sounded pretty hurt, the poor boy. Wants to know why you haven't returned any of your calls and quite frankly, so do I."

"I've been busy."

"Nice try, but you see, I'm also your assistant, which means I know your schedule. You have not been that busy," Sam sighed. "Peyton I'm getting worried about you. What did you do?"

"Nothing." Peyton slumped back into her seat. Her head was pounding and her body ached. She suddenly lost the energy to argue with Sam.

Concerned for her friend, Sam jumped out of her seat, "Peyton, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I just need to sit for a second."

"I'm calling Michael."

* * *

She had the flu. It was only a mild case, but none the less, it took a toll on her. Under Michael's orders, Peyton spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping it off. When she finally awoke, it was nearing seven o'clock in the early evening. The nausea was gone, but she still felt tired and her body still ached. Still, she forced herself from the bed when she smelt something delicious wafting from the kitchen. It was enough to bring her appetite back.

"Mmm, Sam that smells so good. It reminds me of..." Peyton said as she turned the corner into the kitchen, "Lucas?"

"Peyton, hey." Lucas nervously smiled up from his novel.

"Wh…what are you doing here?"

"I heard you weren't feeling well." Lucas got up from his seat to get her some soup that was being kept warm on the stove.

"Where's Sam? I thought she was supposed to come over."

"Oh, she did. But she had plans so I told her I'd stay with you until Michael got home."

"I don't need a babysitter." she muttered.

He placed the bowl of soup on the table for her, "Nobody said you did. Someone being here with you gives us a piece of mind."

"Luke, you shouldn't be here."

"Why not? Because you know how I feel about you?"

"I can't do this right now."

She turned around to leave the room but was stopped.

"Peyton, wait. The last thing I wanted was to have this awkwardness between us. Peyton, I never meant for you to find out that way. But you did and you," he stammered as his voice filled with pained emotion, "you don't feel the same way. I get it. But that doesn't mean that we can't be friends does it?"

Peyton bit her lower lip, thinking it over.

"Look, I know what it's like not to have you in my life and I don't want to go through that again. And I'm hoping that you don't either."

"Luke…"

"So if it means that I have to move on, then I will. I need you in my life, Peyton. Please?"

"OK," she finally said, "Friends."

A feeling of relief washed over him as a small smile appeared on his face but they both felt the elephant in the room. Instead of ignoring it, Peyton desperately tried to push the elephant out of the kitchen. She sat down at the table and tasted the hot homemade chicken soup.

"K, I don't know if I'm delirious from the medication or what, but the soup is awesome. It tastes just like Karen's."

Lucas smiled, "Thank you."

"No," she couldn't believe it, "You did not make this. You can't cook."

Lucas scoffed, "I so can."

She raised a brow, "Remember the night you tried to make us grilled cheese sandwiches? You nearly burned my house down,"

"Ok, the smoke detector going off does not constitute me burning the house down." Lucas defended himself.

Peyton laughed, "Then why did you have to use the fire extinguisher?"

"As a safety precaution."

"Riiight,"

"Alright, alright so I'm not the best chef."

Peyton loved being right and showed it in her little smirk. "And the soup?"

"I never lied to you," Lucas smiled, "Homemade by yours truly...with the help of my mom."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed.

"Didn't anyone tell you that nobody likes a know it all?"

"Shut up," Peyton said as she playfully hit Lucas on the arm. "So wait, does that mean Karen's in town?"

Lucas shook his head, "I called her up and she walked me through it step by step."

"Aw, Luke, you didn't have to go through all that trouble."

"You weren't feeling well and I remembered how much you loved my mom's soup so I thought..." he shrugged it off, "It's no big deal,"

Lucas down at the table and Peyton down at her soup. The elephant had returned.

"So," Lucas started, "Sam told me that Michael isn't going to be home till tomorrow afternoon...so I took the liberty of bringing over a couple of movies in case you were up to watching something."

Peyton scanned the selection of DVDs Lucas had put on the table in front of her. _Almost Famous, The Princess Bride, Return of the Living Dead, The Wedding Singe_r and _Vanilla Sky. _They were some of Peyton's favorite movies.

"I remembered hearing you mention them on your podcast."

"My podcasts. Wow, I haven't done of those in ages. I totally forgot about those."

"Yeah, I know," he laughed to himself, "So you think you'll be doing anymore of those?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. Let's see if I survive this flu first."

They were only half way through their first movie when Peyton nodded off back to sleep. She had tried to fight it off but finally gave into the medication that made her drowsy.

Lucas yawned when the movie ended. He looked over at her and smiled. She was curled up on the opposite end of the couch, caught in a deep sleep. Sick and pale, she was still beautiful. Peyton always would be in Lucas's eyes.

Although his heart ached for her, he meant what he said earlier. He would rather settle being her friend if it were the only way she would be in his life. They had been friends once before and there was no reason why they couldn't be friends like that again.

He got off the couch and leaned over her.

"I'll wait forever if I have to."

Lucas placed a soft kiss a top her warm forehead.

"I love you." he whispered.

Gently, he picked her up into his arms. Peyton stirred a bit but then fell back into dreamland as she nestled herself against his chest.

With ease, Lucas carried Peyton down the hall towards her bedroom. Lucas wasn't the strongest guy around, but Peyton was light as a feather and there was no way Lucas would have dropped her.

But he nearly did. His knees went weak and his arms felt like jelly when Peyton, still deep in her slumber, mumbled the words he never thought he'd hear, "I love you, Lucas."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Find snooze button.

Back to sleep.

Find snooze button again.

Lie in bed for a few minutes until sleep wears off.

Throw blankets off.

Swing feet over bed and turn off the alarm clock.

Take medication with glass of water on bedside.

Begin the day with a shower.

Eight routine steps made up how Lucas Scott began his day. Much like an athlete and his superstition, Lucas's morning ritual rarely changed. That morning Lucas awoke to one of those rare days. He didn't find himself in his comfortable bed, nor did he find himself alone. He blinked the sleep away as the person's face staring down at him slowly came into focus.

Sleep filled his voice, "Morning."

Peyton seemed startled at first, but then eased up when she saw him smile, "Hey, I wasn't sure if I should wake you."

"What time is it?" he yawned.

"Almost seven. I was getting ready for work then I remembered you probably had to get up too."

"Yeah, work starts at nine for me. So I take it that you're feeling better?"

Peyton nodded, "Much better. Must have been that homemade soup. Thanks, Luke. For that and for staying with me…and I guess getting me back to bed. I must have dozed off before the movie even started."

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it because you were talking…" as Lucas started to sit up, a book slid out from beneath the covers, hitting the ground with a thud. Peyton picked it up. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night and I saw Michael's library…"

"Psychodynamic Interpretation of Dreams," she read the title. "Interesting choice, but I wouldn't put too much stock in dreams."

"No? Why's that?" he asked curiously.

"Dream studies are all based on soft science. There's no hard proof that dreams actually mean something. I mean the same dream can have different meanings for different people," she handed the book back to him. "Which one is correct, or are they all incorrect in looking for meaning in a dream that has no meaning?"

Lucas was taken aback by her well-thought out and somewhat rhetorical answer.

"Since when did you become an expert on dreams, or should I say skeptic?"

"I just did some reading over the years."

"Over the years, huh? Troubled by a dream I presume?"

"No." Peyton tried to laugh it off as she began fidgeting with her hands. It was a well known nervous habit of hers. She couldn't help but wonder why he was so interested in dreams.

"You know, I've been wondering," he continued nonchalantly, "do people who sleep walk, dreaming when they get out of bed during the night? Or what about people who talk in their sleep, what are they dreaming about?"

His question froze her restless hands and worry filled face. "Uh, I don't know, um…" She quickly thawed out of her frozen and frightened state. "As much as I would like to discuss how much a waste of time it is trying to interpreting dreams, the real world awaits me."

From the couch, Lucas watched Peyton hurry out of the room. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, Lucas returned to the book for answers.

_According to Freud, dreams are the "royal road to the unconscious". People often experience thoughts and feelings that are so painful that they cannot bear them, leading to repression; however, they could never be banished from the mind, but could be banished from consciousness. Thus they come to constitute the unconscious. _

So many questions clouded his mind: Is Peyton in love with him? Does she only love him as a friend? Is it so painful to let him back into her life? What exactly is her unconscious hiding? Unfortunately for him, the book couldn't really solve his problem because the answers he was looking for was hidden in Peyton's unconscious state of mind.

* * *

About ten minutes after Peyton went to get showered for work, Lucas heard Michael come into the brownstone. Lucas stopped reading and placed the book on the coffee table as he got up to greet Michael.

"Hey Michael." Lucas said.

"Hey, morning, Luke. How's Peyton doing?" Michael asked as he kicked his shoes off.

Lucas leaned against the hallway wall, "Better. She's actually getting ready for work."

Michael smiled at the news, "Good. She had me worried, but I knew she'd be alright. Thanks, Luke, for looking after her."

"Yeah. I always will."

The two men eyed each other carefully. Michael was never the jealous or possessive type. Never once did he question the amount of time Peyton was spending with Lucas in the past few weeks. Michael trusted Peyton. But for the first time since Michael met Lucas, an unsettling feeling came over him. Quickly, Michael shook the feeling off. There wasn't any reason to doubt him. Lucas was a good guy and cared about Peyton, just as any friend would.

"You're a good friend to her, Lucas."

Michael patted Lucas on the shoulder. As he walked passed Lucas to enter the living room, Michael failed to notice Lucas cringing. Friend. The six letter word repeated in Lucas' head and he couldn't help but laugh to himself. If he was such a good 'friend' then he wouldn't have these feelings for Peyton. If he was such a good 'friend' then he wouldn't have told her that he loved her.

"Lucas, can I ask you a question?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," Lucas followed Michael into the living room and sat down across from him.

"How close are you and Peyton?"

"Um…" he hesitated with his answer before finding some confidence, "We're pretty close. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering if you and Peyton ever talked about getting married."

"To each other?"

Michael laughed, "No, no, no," then suddenly he stopped laughing and looked at Lucas seriously, "Were you and Peyton..."

"We never dated." It wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either.

"Ok, well, I don't know any of Peyton's friends besides you and Sam and since you've known her longer, I wanted to get your opinion." Michael nervously looked around the room while reaching into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small black velvet box and held it out for Lucas.

He didn't want to touch it. The mere sight of it made him queasy and made his heart race. Lucas couldn't even finish his sentence. "You're gonna..."

Michael nodded, "I was gonna wait, but since she's feeling better now, I thought why not ask her tonight?" Michael opened the box. A beautiful flawless diamond cut engagement ring lit up the room. "You think she's going to like it?"

"Tonight?" was all the Lucas could manage to get out.

Michael beamed proudly and excitedly, "Yes. Tonight."

* * *

All day long he was numb. He felt nauseous and weak. Either he had caught something from Peyton or it was the thought of Peyton saying yes to Michael. Lucas was leaning towards the latter.

At work, he was given his second writing assignment. He had worked so hard to become a writer for the Times and this was just another opportunity to display his talents, but even that couldn't distract him. Instead, all day long he sat and started at the blinking cursor on his blank Word Processor window. Every so often, he would glance at the time - the time that continued to tick away to the moment he would lose Peyton for good.

Around six, Lucas found himself sulking through Central Park. He had enough of sitting around his drab cubicle and recycled air. Usually the fresh air would help clear his mind, but as time passed him by, the cloudier it became.

"It's too late."

Lucas stopped. Looking to his right, he saw a young boy looking up at his father.

"By the time we get there, we'll be too late, dad." the boy breathlessly continued.

The father crouched down to his son's level. "There's still some time left, son. We can still make it if we try. What does Grandpa always tell you?"

"Never give up without a fight."

The father's words encouragement to his son, not only got through to his son but it spoke volumes to Lucas as well. It had triggered a conversation he had with Haley after he surprised Peyton at her art gallery.

_"If you truly love her, then you fight for her. When are you going to realize that you don't give up on the person you love, especially when all they want is just for you to love them back."_

Lucas shook his head from the thought. Peyton just wanted to be friends and he didn't want to lose her.

_"The last thing I wanted was to have this awkwardness between us. Peyton, I never meant for you to find out that way. But you did and you…you don't feel the same way_…_Look, I know what it's like not to have you in my life and I don't want to go through that again. And I'm hoping that you don't either._"

Friends. That's all they were now. They were in each other lives again and that was enough, wasn't it? Not for Lucas. Deep down Lucas knew being just friends wasn't enough.

_"I love you, Lucas."_

And unconsciously maybe Peyton did too.

* * *

Beads of sweat began to pour down his paling face. He had just run six long city blocks to Peyton's brownstone. His legs felt like jell-o by the time he reached her stone steps but they still managed to run up them, two at a time. First he rang the door bell and then impatiently he rapped on the door. His heart was pounding faster than ever.

He leaned against the wall for support just as the door opened. The last time he ran that much was years ago when he was a Raven. Clearly, Lucas was now out of shape.

Peyton appeared. Her beautiful smile disappeared when she saw him. "Lucas, what are you doing here?"

He couldn't seem to catch his breath.

"Lucas, are you alright?" her voice filling with concern.

"I'm fine. Just…listen." Lucas's face cringed as the throbbing in his chest began to spread to his shoulder.

"Lucas, what's wrong?"

"Peyton…" he was ignoring the signs. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, "I…have to…tell you…"

His body began to teeter back and forth. Peyton quickly reached for him and tried to steady him. "Stop. Lucas you're starting to scare me. Here, come in and sit down."

"Yeah, ok. Just…for a…second." Lucas gasped for air.

She carried most of his weight as they slowly made their way into her house. Peyton knew something wasn't right. Lucas needed help. "MICHAEL!"

"NO. I'm fine. I just…need to sit d…" Lucas suddenly grabbed his chest and grimaced in pain. In horror, Peyton watched his eyes squeezed tight before he collapsed to the ground.

"Lucas! Oh God. Lucas!" Peyton yelled at him. Kneeling next to him she caressed his face. It was covered in sweat. "Hold on, I'm going to get Michael."

"Don't…Peyton." Lucas mumbled.

"Lucas I'll be right back." she brought her face closer to his. She could barely hear him.

His voice was low and weak, "Don't leave me."

She ran her hand through his soft hair. Her lips trembled, "I'm not leaving you, Lucas. I promise."

It was getting harder and harder for him to keep his eyes open. He was growing tired quickly. Peyton's pleas for help were getting fainter with each yell. Tears were now spilling out of her eyes and it was the last sight he saw as his head rolled limply to the side and his body went lifeless.

* * *

**A/N:**A little quick thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing. I really appreciate the support. Aside from the fact that I left you with another cliffhanger, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have any questions or comments, just let me know.

The section on dreams was taken from one of my Psych books (by Glietman) and from Wikipedia.

I'd also like to thank Poppiedome for beta-ing this chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

In times of need you tend to only remember the good times; moments of laughter shared; moments of singing at the top of your lungs; moments of being just happy - one hundred percent - those are the times that matter. All is forgiven and all else is forgotten. The arguments and fights become meaningless. And for Peyton Sawyer, it was no different.

She didn't respond when he called her name. Peyton remained seated by Lucas' hospital bedside, holding onto his hand. He had suffered a mild heart attack and it was Michael who was able to revive him.

"Peyt, times up," Michael said again. "We have to go."

"No." she whispered.

After Lucas was stabilized, Peyton was given five minutes to visit with him. It was a frightening sight to see wires and tubes tangled around his arms, chest and nose. She could only imagine how terrified Lucas would be if he woke up alone.

"Visiting hours are over," Michael said gently, "Only family…"

"I don't care. I'm not leaving him." she responded firmly with her eyes focused on Lucas. "When I got shot I was alone and so scared. Lucas, he was the one who came in for me. He was the one who stayed with me and made me feel safe. When I was bleeding to death, it was him, saving me."

A lone tear escaped from her hazel eye. Peyton let it fall down her cheek.

"It's my turn now. I'm not leaving him. He needs me and I'm gonna be right here beside him until he wakes up."

Michael watched her as she spoke. Not once did she look up at him, but he could tell that her eyes were full of fear, desperation and something he never saw before. And it was all for Lucas.

"Ok," Michael gave in. His voice was soft with a hint of sadness, "I'll um, I'll finish up the paper work and have a cot sent in. Is there anyone I should call? For Lucas, I mean?"

Peyton shook her head. The news of Lucas' condition shouldn't come from a complete stranger especially if when he was miles away from home. With Peyton breaking the news, she could at least calm Karen down with the fact that Lucas wasn't laying in some hospital bed alone. "No, I'll call Karen in a minute. You should go home and rest. You have to work tomorrow."

"Yeah," he half-heartedly replied as he turned to leave.

"Michael?"

He looked back at Peyton, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Michael let out a half smile and nodded before walking out the door.

* * *

The sound of a soft, steady beeping had stirred him from his slumber. The burning sensation on his chest caused him to finally open his eyes. They blinked a few times before they focused in on his surroundings. Nothing looked familiar to him, except for the sleeping head beside him.

"She's a stubborn one," said an unfamiliar voice from the other side of the room.

Lucas carefully turned to look on the other side of the room where a woman in green scrubs quietly slipped into the room. She appeared to be in her early fifties and had a motherly smile.

"She hasn't left your side since they let her in," the nurse continued in a soft voice, "They sent in a cot for her, but she refused it. Said she was fine where she was. By the way, I'm Phyllis and you must be Lucas."

Lucas nodded. "Yeah," his voice was hoarse and his mouth was dry as cotton, "What happened?"

"Last night you suffered a heart attack. You were lucky that Dr. Carter was there. He saved your life."

"Dr. Carter?" Lucas thought of a second. "Michael?"

Phyllis nodded as she checked the heart monitor. "Your wife's friend."

Lucas was confused. "Wife?"

Phyllis looked at the sleeping woman then back at Lucas. She was beginning to worry her patient was suffering from amnesia. She glanced back at her clipboard. "Yes, according to the chart, Peyton is your wife. Correct?"

Peyton is his wife. He knew it wasn't true, but it sounded so right to him and he couldn't help but smile.

"Well, you should get some rest, Lucas. You're scheduled for some tests first thing in the morning and I'm sure you're in for a good yelling too – you scared the daylights out of the poor girl."

Nurse Phyllis left the room just as quietly as she entered, leaving Lucas and Peyton alone once again. Lucas smiled as he watched her. He was thankful for being alive and he was thankful that Peyton never left him alone and was there, holding his hand. She was beautiful as she slept. He wanted to wake her, to stop her worrying, but his own eyes grew heavy and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

* * *

When her eyes opened to greet the morning, she was met with an aching back. The chair she sat on didn't make the most comfortable bed, nor did the fact that she spent the entire night hunched over so that her head could rest onto Lucas' bed. Peyton forced herself to sit up. It was in her nature to hide her pain, but that morning she didn't have to as the sight of Lucas, staring back at her made her forget about the pain.

"Morning," he casually said.

"Lucas!" her body smothered his as she gripped tightly, crushing his tender chest.

"P...Peyton," he grimaced.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she pulled back immediately, "Did I hurt you?"

"Just a little,"

It began to sink in that Lucas was alive. He was going to be ok. "Good, you stupid jerk." She punched him on the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For scaring me like that. What the hell were you thinking having a heart attack like that?"

Lucas shrugged and didn't have a response. Having a heart attack wasn't exactly on his list of things to do, "I'm sorry?"

Her lips slowly curled into a smile and before they knew it, she was laughing. Peyton had been an emotional wreck the past fifteen hours and had let it all out in her laughing fit. Lucas had no idea what was so funny but he joined in as best as his sore torso would let him. Both blondes were grateful that they had the opportunity to laugh together again.

As she regained control of her emotions, Peyton cleared her throat, "I'm glad you're ok, Luke."

"Yeah, me too."

"K, well, I um...I'll let them know you're awake."

"Peyton, wait."

"Yeah, Luke?"

"Um, they already know I'm ok. One of the nurses came in the middle of the night."

"You woke up last night? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I wanted to, but you looked…you looked exhausted. Besides, the nurse said you'd probably yell at me for scaring you so bad and well, she was right," he laughed. "You know what else she said?"

"No, what?"

"That we're married."

The statement shocked and confused Peyton into silence. Lucas couldn't help but tease her a bit more.

"Now, I don't know about you, but I was out cold so the only other person who would have said that we are married is…"

"Michael," Peyton sighed as she put two and two together, "Visiting hours were over but the hospital lets a family member stay over night. Michael probably said that I was your wife so I could stay."

"Oh," Lucas let out an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry. I thought...I was only teasing you."

"Yeah, I know."

The intermittent beeping of the heart monitor took over the conversation, giving Peyton some time to settle her fluctuating emotions. Lucas, on the other hand, didn't need time. Life is short. He knew that better than anyone else, after all he was barely twenty-five years of age and had nearly died twice.

The first time he cheated death, Lucas was sixteen years old. Earlier that frightful night, he and Peyton had agreed that they would tell Brooke about their secret affair and that they wanted to be together. About an hour before the truth was set to come out, Keith made a left turn on a red light. Their car was hit by an oncoming car with Lucas' side taking most of the impact. As fate would have it, Lucas' biological father was there. Dan was on his way home from the beach house to make amends with Deb, but he never made it there that night. Instead, he sped Lucas and Keith to the hospital. Without Dan's help, Lucas would have died because just moments after Lucas was laid down on the operating table, his heart stopped and Peyton's heart broke.

Now, almost nine years later, just before he was about to profess his love for her, his heart stopped again. A tell tale sign that maybe they just weren't meant to be, but he didn't believe that. He couldn't because after all they've been through in the last ten years, she was right there sitting beside him and he was still alive. It had to count for something.

Lucas cleared his throat, "So you stayed with me all night? You didn't have to."

She shot him a look of disbelief, "Yeah, I did."

"Why?"

"Come on, Lucas. Do I really have to explain? Does there have to be a reason other than the fact that you nearly died?"

She did have to explain. He had to know if there was another reason other than him nearly dieing. "I don't know. Maybe there is another reason."

"Well then, let me ask you this; when I got shot was there another reason why you kept looking for me in the school, other than you being just a concerned friend?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "Maybe it's the same reason why a few days after you told me that you loved me in the library, you only said it because you thought you were dying and that I took care of you."

When she started to chew on her lower lip and saw her eyes frost over with emotions, he knew he it was still there. "Last night, before I had the chance to, I wanted to tell you that I can't hide anymore. Peyton, I…"

"Lucas," she desperately interrupted him, "just before you passed out, you asked me to stay with you. I promised you that I wouldn't leave you. That's why I'm here. Look, with the exception of the past few years, you had always been there for me, no questions asked. I was just doing the same for you. That, and because I was worried about my friend were the reasons why I stayed. Nothing more."

"Are you sure it was nothing more?" he daringly pressed on, refusing to back down.

"Of course, I am," she said growing more agitated.

"Well, I'm not so sure and I'm pretty sure you know it too. Peyt, you just said so yourself, whenever we needed someone the most, we were always there for each other. And I know that I when you needed me I wanted to be there for you. It wasn't because I had an obligation to fill as a friend. I was there because I chose to be."

"You also chose to be with Brooke." she replied a harsh, unforgiving tone.

"Yeah, I did," he said quietly. Lucas let out a sigh as he let his head fall back onto is pillow. He stared at the ceiling frustrated by the fact that one single choice he made always came back to haunt him. "I chose to hide and I'm sorry it hurt you, but it hurt me more than you'll ever know."

"Lucas, I don't think this was a good idea," her voice was soft and sad, "We shouldn't be friends after all."

"You're right. We shouldn't," He looked back up at her with loving conviction and a will to fight, "because friends don't feel this way about each other. They don't get shivers when their arms accidentally brush against each other or their stomachs don't turn into knots when you just think about one another. When they're together they don't wonder what it would feel like just to kiss them again."

"Lucas stop."

"Why? Tell me that you don't feel the same; that this is all one sided; that you're just scared and that you don't love me like I do you. Peyton, just tell me that and then I'll stop."

Peyton looked away from him while her hands began to fidget.

"You can't, can you?" She didn't respond again. "You know, you talk in your sleep?"

She swore she felt her own heart stop. She couldn't have done it again. Her eyes slowly left the floor and met his. "No, I… I…"

"The other night, when you fell asleep on the couch and I carried you to your room, you said 'I love you, Lucas'. And you know it's ok if you do because I still love you, Peyton. That's why I came over last night. To tell you that and not to marry Michael."

Seconds passed as silence took over the room. He waited patiently with his eyes never leaving hers until finally her green eyes fell down onto her hands. His blue eyes reluctantly followed. She slowly raised her left hand, revealing a diamond engagement ring that had troubled him ever since he first laid eyes on it.

"I was too late," he whispered.

"Just before you came over last night, he asked me to marry him. And I said yes," her soft voice cracked.

"But Peyton…"

"So don't ruin this for me, Luke," she cried, "I'm happy…with Michael. Please, just be happy for me."

He looked at her on the brink of tears, "I can't."

"No, don't do this." she begged.

"Do what? Tell you that I love you. I've been in love with you since high school and that I never really stopped? Cause I can't. I can't keep hiding how I feel. Not anymore."

She had waited years for him to say those words to her. At one point she would have given anything for that to happen. It had been her dream, her wish, her desire for Lucas to love her more than just as friend. And now he did. But then Michael came into her life and changed everything.

"Good morning."

Peyton and Lucas looked to the person who had just entered the room. It was Michael.

"Glad to see you awake, Lucas."

"Yeah, me too. I believe I owe you a big thank you."

"Just doing my job." Michael replied modestly.

Lucas cringed as he watched Michael greet Peyton with a morning kiss.

"Hey, Peyton, did you get any sleep?"

Peyton nodded without meeting Michael's eyes. She was nervously wondering if her new fiancée had heard their conversation.

"I have to do a quick physical on Lucas, would you mind stepping outside for a sec?"

Peyton nodded again and quickly left the room. Once she set foot out of the room, Peyton could breathe again. Michael's timing was impeccable. Mentally and physically exhausted, she leaned back against the cool wall, closed her eyes and let out a sigh mixed with worry and relief. Hoping to find some emotional peace, Peyton's protective walls began to rebuild.

When the door had closed behind her, Lucas noticed the sudden change in Michael's demeanor. The doctor's eyes turned from friendly to cold and glaring. He briskly walked over to Lucas's bedside and put on his stethoscope. Without a word, Michael began to listen to Lucas's heart. With his unusually quiet demeanor, it was apparent that Michael had heard some of Lucas and Peyton's conversation.

"So, how long have you been standing there?" Lucas finally asked and broke the icy silence.

Michael didn't verbally respond. Instead, his jaw clenched, as if willing himself to keep his mouth shut. He moved the stethoscope to Lucas' back and listened to the beats.

"You're a good guy and you're good to Peyton. That's why I tried to back off."

Lucas looked up and tried to make eye contact, but Michael kept his dark eyes away. "But I can't anymore. Not when…"

"Any discomfort?" Dr. Carter interrupted.

"Michael..."

"It's Dr. Carter, Mr. Scott. Right now, in this room, you are a patient and I am your doctor. There is no Michael or Lucas because if there was, I would have punched you the second I walked into this room. So I'd appreciated it if for the next ten seconds, until this examination is over, there is no Peyton. Now, any discomfort?"

"A little," Lucas motioned to his chest.

Michael noted it on the chart, "It's normal and should go away in a couple of days. Just keep taking your medication and you should be good as new. The nurse will schedule your next follow up with Dr. Collins. He will be looking after you from now on."

Dr. Carter flipped the chart closed and hung it at the foot of the bed. The physical was over. Michael and Lucas were just two regular guys, in love with the same girl.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from her." Michael finally said.

"Sorry, can't do that." Lucas replied.

"Yeah, you can and I'm going to make sure that you do. I may not know what went on between you guys in the past, but whatever it was, I know you hurt her pretty bad. It's over now. You are done playing with her emotions."

"I'm not playing with her emotions. I love her more than anyone will understand. All I want for her is to be happy."

"Well, like she said, Peyton is happy with me. And unlike you, I never hurt her. I can give Peyton everything she ever wanted – Money, support, love – what can you offer her?"

Lucas fell silent without a reply.

"That's what I thought," Michael figured. "If you truly do love Peyton, then you'll leave her alone because whether you like it or not, Peyton and I are going to get married."

Lucas had no response. He couldn't give Peyton the extravagant dinners or diamond encrusted jewelry like Michael could. Financially, on his measly pay check, Lucas would never be able to support her well. He could barely get by on his own in the expensive city. The only things Lucas knew he could offer Peyton was the loving support she deserved and perhaps the one thing no one would be able to give her, except for him – his heart.

* * *

She had just begun to find her peace when she heard the sound of a familiar feminine voice.

"Peyton?"

The blonde's eyes flew open. "Karen."

The older woman rushed up to Peyton and pulled her into a tight, yet comforting embrace. It was an emotional moment for Karen – joyous to see the young girl, who had grown into a beautiful young woman, again after five years and terrifying to see her only son in a hospital bed. They pulled apart, allowing Karen's tear-filled eyes to get a good look at Peyton, who suddenly felt awkward in her presence of the woman who had treated her like a daughter.

"Um…Lucas," Peyton started, "He's awake now."

A wave of relief fell over the tired mother who hadn't slept since Peyton called her last night, "Oh, thank God."

"Yeah. He's in with Michael now, but I'm sure it'd be ok if you went in."

Karen nodded, but stood in place, "It's good to see you again, Peyton."

"Yeah, you too."

"Thank you for calling last night and for staying with Lucas. You're probably tired, you should go home and get some rest. I can look after Lucas now."

Peyton returned a half smile. She was no longer needed. Karen was now there to take care of Lucas. "Ok. Promise to call me if you need anything or…"

Her eyes widened and her sentence was cut off by the mere sight of the couple standing behind Karen. Just a few feet away were Nathan, with his goofy lopsided grin and his arm around his nervous and tearing wife.

Haley stood frozen in place while Nathan left her side momentarily to give Peyton a hug. It had been over five years since an over re-acted Haley last saw a confused Peyton in Tree Hill. Their last phone conversation wasn't exactly friendly either. Insecure of where their pending friendship now stood, Haley, standing awkwardly alone, watched Peyton embrace Nathan happily.

When Peyton and Nathan pulled away from each other, Haley offered a small smile to Peyton and waited for her to react first.

Peyton stared back at Haley, eyes filling with tears. Haley hadn't changed much over the years. She was a bit heavier, thanks to having three kids, but regardless of her physical appearance, she was just as beautiful as Peyton remembered.

In the times of need, your eyes open. You begin to see how precious time is and how short life can be. Time shouldn't be spent on dwelling on petty arguments or being scared to call an old friend to tell them that you are sorry and that you love them too. True friends forgive and forget which was no different for Peyton Sawyer as she let her walls crumble and hugged her old friend tight.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

In the middle of the night, Michael rolled over and extended his arm. He had expected to pull a sleeping Peyton closer to him, but instead he found nothing but cold empty space beside him. Sleepily he sat up and looked around the room until his vision adjusted to the dark room. Still, there was no sight of her. Michael rolled out of bed, put on his boxers and slipped on his robe to search for his new fiancé.

Ever since Lucas had collapsed in her foyer, sleep was hard to come by for Peyton Sawyer. It had been four days now since she had last seen him or talked to him. There was no reason to. He now had Karen, Haley and Nathan to take care of him. She didn't want to be in the way, at least that's what she told Haley when they had lunch together the earlier that day.

_It was the first time in years since the two friends had lunch together. They decided that it was for the best to let bygones be bygones, allowing them to spend the rest of the day enjoying each other's company. While walking around the Big Apple, Peyton and Haley got caught up on the years they had missed out on each others lives. And for old times' sake, they shared inside jokes as they remembered the good old days of Tree Hill High. _

_As they walked back to Lucas' apartment, the conversation slowly dissipated into awkward chuckles or short answers, mostly on Peyton's doing. _

_"So you gonna come up today or are you gonna ditch me at the door again?"_

_Peyton shook her head. "I don't think I have time to visit today. I need to head back to the gallery, otherwise Sam will kill me." She kicked a pebble that was in her path, "How's he doing, Hales?"_

_"Oh you know the usual - deep, dark and brooding. But if you want to know how his heart is, all you have to do is ask." _

_Peyton shot her a deadpan look._

_"What? He had a heart attack," she said with a smirk, "But if you interpreted it another way, well then you got to ask him that yourself. But you're not going to are you?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, since we showed up, you've been avoiding him like the plague."_

_"I haven't been avoiding him. I've just been busy with work and I know that you, Nate and Karen are taking good care of him."_

_"But that doesn't mean you can't come by for a visit, you know. I'm sure he'd love to see you." _

_Guilt began to overwhelm Peyton. The truth was she had been avoiding him. It was just easier not seeing him and stuffing everything back into Pandora's Box._

_"He doesn't want to talk about it either, Peyton. What happened?" Haley asked._

_"Nothing."_

_"So him telling you that he loves you is nothing?"_

_"I thought he said he wasn't talking." she scoffed._

_"I'm his best friend, I have my ways of finding these things out."_

"_You made Nathan talk to him didn't you?" Peyton figured out. _

"_Yeah, but it's not because we're nosy," Haley looped her arm through Peyton's and tugged her closer, "We care about the two of you. And we want what's best for you guys…"_

"_Haley…"_

"_...regardless if you two are together or not," Haley finished. "You never disappointed me, Peyton. **I** disappointed you for not being there for you. Maybe I don't deserve it, but, I want the chance to prove to you that I can be there for you. So if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I missed you, Peyton."_

_Peyton gently leaned her head against Haley's as they walked closely, arm in arm, "I missed you too, Hales."_

* * *

"Hey," Michael said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. His sudden presence scared her, causing her to jump and her shoulder to bump his chin.

"Ow."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Michael," she said as she inspected his chin, "You scared me."

"It's ok. I'm ok." he smiled.

She showed him a small smile before turning her attention back to the window.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"It's snowing."

"Yeah, it is." Michael started to worry about her behaviour. After returning from her afternoon with Haley, Michael noticed that Peyton had been acting strangely. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but felt that she was distant - her actions were almost robotic and her voice was soft and sad.

"It's the first snow fall of the year."

The New York snowflakes fluttered gently down from the midnight sky, becoming part of the giant white blanket that now thinly covered the streets. The scene outside was peaceful and quiet, something that would definitely change when the sun rose in a few hours time. The air was crisp and cool. Peyton shivered slightly as she breathed in the refreshing air and wrapped her housecoat tightly around her small frame. It was her favorite time of the year.

"It is beautiful, but do you have to have the door open? It's too cold out there for just a housecoat." Michael said with concern as he gently pulled her away from the doorway. Peyton let him close the door but as soon as the door was shut, she took her position back in front of the window.

"You know, we hardly ever got snow in Tree Hill, but when we did, it came with a storm."

A small smile fell across her lips. The last snow storm that happened in Tree Hill was when Peyton was in elementary school. School was cancelled for the day and she spent the day in her backyard, building a snow fort - with a tunnel - with her best friend, Brooke Davis.

* * *

_Silence had taken over their conversation but the thoughts and questions in Peyton's head chattered away. She had often wondered about what happened to the people she still cared about but left behind in her past. Now, with the help of Haley, her mind could finally find some peace. _

_"How's Brooke?"_

_Haley thought for a moment, allowing her to choose her words carefully, "Well, she's better now,"_

_"What do you mean by 'better'?"_

_"Well, after what happened at the wedding, Brooke had a major breakdown. She started drinking. I did everything I could to try to cheer her up, but nothing seemed to help."_

_Remembering Brooke's downward spiral was hard for Haley. The two people Brooke hated the most weren't around, but Haley was there to take the hatred out on. Despite all of the name calling and inane accusations during Brooke's drunken stupors, Haley never left Brooke's side. Haley was the only one who took care of the broken Brooke. Nathan had tried but had quickly grown tired of Brooke's behaviour and begged his wife to stay away for her own safety. Haley simply said no. _

_Deep down Haley knew why she tried to help Brooke. Part of the reason was because she felt partially responsible – had she blurted Peyton's secret love for Lucas, Brooke wouldn't have been mortified at the altar. The other reason was that Brooke had nobody._

_"A couple of days later," Haley continued," she and some guy she met at the country club were drinking when they decided to steal one of the golf carts. Brooke was driving when they crashed into a tree. Brooke had a mild concussion; thankfully no one else hurt. And I guess that was enough to keep her sober. A week later, Brooke left town."_

_Peyton couldn't believe what she was hearing. Nobody deserved to go through what Brooke had been through on her wedding day, not even Brooke. Marrying Lucas should have been the happiest day of her life, not her worst. Never in a million years would she guess that a once bubbly and cheery Brooke would become a depressed and angry drunk. _

_"She came back though. A year and half later, but she wasn't alone. Brooke had a baby."_

_"What?"_

_"Thomas Ian," Haley smiled, "He looks so much like her."_

"_Brooke's a mom?"_

_"Yeah," she laughed._

"_Is she still in Tree Hill?" Peyton wondered._

_Haley shook her head, "No. She stayed for a few days and then after that she said that she wasn't coming back anymore. I never heard from her until a couple of months ago. She's in Florida."_

_Peyton remained quiet, with her own thoughts. Was Lucas the father? Would it even matter if he was? No, she told herself. She wasn't in a relationship with Lucas, nor was she interested in one. _

_"Lucas isn't the father," Haley seemed to read Peyton's mind. "The math doesn't work out."_

_Peyton chastised herself for being so transparent, "No, I know. I just…Brooke wouldn't drink a drop of alcohol if she was pregnant. So, she's better now, right?"_

_"Yes. She's engaged now. She says she's never been happier. Like truly happy."_

"_Good, I'm glad." Peyton said sincerely. _

"_I think having Thomas was a good thing, you know. It changed Brooke and I think a part of her regrets what happened between the two of you."_

_"Did she say that?"_

_"Not in so many words. But when we talked she asked if I had heard from you."_

"_That doesn't mean anything," Peyton tried to brush it off._

"_It does when Brooke never wanted to hear your name when she was in Tree Hill."_

* * *

"Peyton, are you ok?" Michael repeated.

She nodded, "I just want to watch the snow."

Michael sighed. He knew Peyton liked keeping her troubles to herself. For a while, he accepted that fact, after all it was who she was. He also figured that eventually when she trusted him enough, that she would open up to him on her own. Placing his hand on her shoulder, Michael let Peyton know that he was there for her. He'd always be there.

"You know, we're going to get married, right?"

Peyton didn't move nor did she look back at him, "Yeah, we are."

"So talk to me, Peyton. Let me in. Let me help you."

She remained quiet.

"You can trust me, you know?" he tried again.

Peyton was grateful that Michael was in her life. He had come into her life from out of nowhere and made her feel wanted again - something she hadn't felt in years. Since the first time they met at the museum, she never stopped smiling when he was around. Michael was the real deal. He was perfect - always taking care of her when she was sick and offering constant support. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he loved her and would never break her heart.

"Peyton?"

"Ye…yeah," she stuttered. "I'm fine, Michael. I'm just not tired, that's all. Just go back to bed. I'll be there soon."

"Ok," he kissed her on the top of her head, "Don't stay up too much longer. You need your rest."

When he disappeared into their bedroom, Peyton turned around. She sighed as she let her forehead come to rest on the cool window.

* * *

_They stopped at the front door to Lucas' building._

"_Are you sure you don't want to come up?"_

_Peyton looked up to his window on the third floor. She knew seeing him would be nothing but awkward. "Yeah. Tell everyone I said 'hi'."_

"_I will."_

_Peyton smiled, "Have a safe flight, Hales. I'm going to miss you. Promise that you'll call?"_

"_Promise you won't hang up?"_

_They laughed, "I promise."_

_With one last hug, Peyton turned to leave. _

"_Hey, Peyton." Haley called out. _

"_Yeah?"_

"_Are you sure you don't want to come up?"_

"_Yeah, why?"_

"_I'm um," Haley nervously glanced up to Lucas' apartment window and checked for spies, "Look, I'm not supposed to tell you, but I think you should know. Tomorrow, when we go back to Tree Hill, Lucas is coming with us."_

"_What?"_

"_Just until he's back to full strength. The doctor told him it'd be good for him to be home for a bit. Plus it'd ease Karen's mind having Lucas there and not here in the city alone."_

"_Oh," Peyton uttered. Her sad eyes gazed upwards toward the third floor apartment window, showing flashes of hurt and perhaps even regret._

"_Anyways, I thought you should know in case you wanted to say bye to him."_

* * *

He had seen her through his window. She was beginning to leave when she turned back around. Haley looked up to his window. After failing to see him from her angle, she said something that seemed to surprise Peyton. Her green eyes met his blue ones before he disappeared.

Lucas sadly smiled at the framed picture of Peyton hugging him during their first year of college. Lucas had paid an arm and a leg for those front row tickets to the sold out Matthew Ryan concert and had just told Peyton when Haley candidly snapped the picture. Peyton was so excited and happy. Lucas wanted to make her smile like that again one day. And this was the only way he knew how.

He carefully placed the picture on top of the clothes that were folded neatly and stacked on top of each other. With a sigh, Lucas closed the lid of his suitcase and zipped it shut.

_"Lucas?" _

_Lucas snapped out of his daze and turned to find his mother behind him. He stepped away from the window. "Oh, hey mom."_

_As his mother, Karen didn't have to look to see what had her son's attention, but to prove a point, she leaned a bit to the right anyways and looked out the window. In clear view were Haley and Peyton out front. _

_Lucas glanced back out the window just in time to see Peyton shake her head and leave without looking back._

_"You know, I don't think she'd mind it if you went out and said hello." Karen suggested._

_Lucas shrugged and sulked back to his couch. Peyton didn't want to see him, "I'll say hi when she comes in."_

_"I wasn't talking about Haley." Karen clarified. _

_"Neither was I." he sighed._

_Karen frowned and took a seat beside Lucas. Before she could ask him what was going on, he turned to her and looked at her with a face that broke her own heart. She had seen that look before. _

_It was a day she never forgot. She had just put on a brave face of her own. Seeing Dan every Saturday at junior leagues was hard for her and somehow Lucas knew that. That morning, Lucas didn't eat a single bit of his favorite breakfast. Instead, he looked up at her, with a courageous front to mask his gloomy eyes, and told her he was quitting junior leagues. He was up the game he loved just for her. _

And now, some eighteen years later, the sadness hidden behind his charming eyes had returned.

_"I'm moving back home, mom," Lucas finally confessed. "Permanently."_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Life is full of choices. Some are easy decisions while others can be life altering. One week and two days ago, Lucas Scott made a life altering decision. It wasn't just his decision to move back to Tree Hill that was going to change his life; rather, it was his choice to give up chasing the girl who had always been in his heart. It wasn't an easy decision by any means, but he had to do it.

"Morning, Lucas." Karen said as she walked into the living room and joined her son on the couch.

"Hey, ma." Lucas smiled before turning his attention back to _Tom and Jerry_.

"Still haven't outgrown the cartoons, I see."

"Hey, _Tom and Jerry_ aren't just cartoons. They're classics."

Karen laughed, "I remember. Every Saturday morning I'd be in the kitchen making your favorite breakfast and by the time I was done, Haley would have already snuck through the front door…"

"…with a box of Frosted Flakes."

"A box of sugar was more like it."

"They're gr-r-reat!" Lucas roared. "Those were the good ol' days."

"Is that why you've moved back? For the 'good ol' days'?"

"Mom…"

"Lucas…I'm worried. Have you even told Haley that you've moved back?"

Lucas shook his head. "Not yet."

"I don't understand. What happened to this best friend's pact; the one where you don't keep secrets from your best friend."

"Mom, I have my reasons."

"Is Peyton being one of them?" Karen raised a stern brow. "Because with them being friends again you think Haley is going to tell Peyton?"

"Mom, don't start. It's too early in the morning…" he started to protest.

"Lucas, I know you are old enough to make your own decisions and that you don't need your mother prying, but what's really going on here? I mean do you realize that you're about to give up everything?"

"_We shouldn't be friends after all," Peyton said._

"_You're right. We shouldn't," Lucas agreed, "because friends don't feel this way about each other. They don't get shivers when their arms accidentally brush against each other or their stomachs don't turn into knots when you just think about one another. When they're together they don't wonder what it would feel like just to kiss them again."_

"_Lucas stop."_

"_Why? Tell me that you don't feel the same; that this is all one sided; that you're just scared and that you don't love me like I do you. Peyton, just tell me that and then I'll stop,"_

_Peyton looked away from him while her hands began to fidget._

"_You can't, can you?" She didn't respond again. And he had his answer._

"I'm not giving up everything, mom." Lucas finally said.

"What about your dream, Lucas? You've wanted to write for the New York Times since you were a kid and…"

"And I did mom. Maybe it was only a small review, but I'll always remember that concert. But home is where the heart is, ma." Lucas leaned over and placed a kiss on his mother's cheek. "I guess you're right. I just miss home."

Karen wrinkled a brow as she watched her precocious son sink back into the sofa and wondered if Lucas' heart was truly home.

* * *

"Wow, this painting," the woman said to her fiancée, "it's perfect. It's like it's describing us."

"Yeah. And the colours…you know it reminds me of the colour of sky when I proposed."

She nodded in agreement, "I'll never forget that day."

"Me neither. How much is it?" he asked to Sam.

"I'm sorry, this one isn't for sale," Sam replied. "This piece is very near and dear to the artist and she..."

Peyton decided to let her presence known. She had heard enough. "It's ok Sam. I'll take it from here, thanks."

Sam and the two potential buyers looked up to find Peyton carefully making her way towards them. She had just entered the gallery and was headed for her office when she recognized the female customer.

"Peyton?" the woman said when she finally recognized the blonde curls.

"Hi Jill." Peyton replied uneasily.

"It's so good to see you again. When Lucas recommended this gallery I had no idea that this was yours."

"Wait a sec...Peyton," the light bulb in man's head turned on, "You're Peyton. _The_ Peyton - the one..."

Before he could finish his thought, he felt a gentle but firm elbow to the ribs. He looked down at his fiancée and recognized her don't-say-another-word-smile.

"I'm sorry, Peyton, this is my fiancée, Brad." Jill said, hoping to change the subject.

"Nice to finally meet you, Peyton. I've heard so much about you." Brad said, shaking her hand.

"All good things, I hope." Peyton smiled politely.

"Definitely. Lucas used to talk about you all the time."

"Oh," Peyton blushed, "Um, how is Lucas doing anyways? Is he back in town yet?"

"No. Actually, he..." another elbow to the ribs stopped Brad from finishing his sentence.

Peyton raised a curious brow.

"He's doing much better." Jill smiled innocently while managing to send a glare to Brad.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

"Congratulations on your engagement," Brad said, "Lucas mentioned something about you getting engaged recently."

If there is one thing that recently engaged women have in common, it's the big happy smile that they proudly display every time they are congratulated. And if there's two things that they share in common, it's that they chatter excitedly away about anything from the ring to how happy they are to be officially sharing the rest of their lives with the man they love. But this was Peyton Sawyer, and she wasn't like most women. Her smile was small, which didn't go unnoticed by Brad.

"Thank you." Peyton politely replied before quickly changing the subject. "So this painting. Are you still interested?" she asked the couple.

"Yes, of course. It's so beautiful." Jill answered.

"Great, then it's yours."

Sam, who was standing quietly off to the side, couldn't hold it in any longer. "Um, I'll come help you find the listing price, Peyton."

"No, it's fine. It's my piece, so I'm sure we can work out a price."

"Oh, but I really think we should check the price first."

Brad and Jill stood quietly as they watched Sam take Peyton by the arm and lead her into the office, closing the door behind them.

"Brad," Jill hissed while smacking him on the arm, "Don't you remember Lucas telling you not to tell Peyton that he's not coming back?"

Brad shrugged, "Yeah, but what's the big deal? She's going to find out eventually. Besides, you know as well as I do that Lucas loves this girl and if this girl is as smart as I think she is, all she needs is a little push in the right direction to make the right choice."

"Look, hon, I think Peyton could be great girl for Lucas. And you know I want what's best for Lucas too, but things didn't work out for them for a reason. Sometimes fate is just cruel."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, fate gave them all these chances to be together, but all they seem to cause each other is heartache."

Brad sighed, knowing Jill had a point. Looking at the painting once again, he remembered the day his parents celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary. As dusk began to settle, his parents renewed their vows. His father held his mother's hands as they both gazed into each other eyes. Brad noticed that they were the same looks they always shared while he was growing up. It was something Brad vowed to have in his life and it was in that exact moment when Brad looked to his right and Jill captured his eyes. Since then, Brad just always believed in love.

"Peyton? What the hell?" Sam snapped as she shut the door behind them.

"What?" Peyton innocently said.

"The painting? You're going to sell it? I can't believe it. I thought you said you would never sell it."

Nonchalantly, Peyton shrugged her shoulders, "I never said never."

"Alright, so… if this painting is about you and Lucas, does this mean that you and Lucas are finally over?"

"Sam, there wasn't a Lucas and I to begin with. Besides, that painting, yes it means a lot to me, but all I wanted for it was to find a home where it actually means something to someone. Jill and Brad, I heard them. They get the painting and I know they'll take care of it."

"So you don't love Lucas?"

"Sam, when I was a teenager, I had a major crush on him. But you see, I'm all grown up now. And with this ring here on my finger, it means I'm engaged – not to Lucas but to Michael. I love Michael."

"As your best friend, I had to check. Just so you know, I'm on Team Peyton first and Team Michael second."

"Team what?"

"You know…"

Peyton held up her hand, stopping Sam from explaining, "Wait. I don't think I want to know. Now, if you don't mind, can you please let Jill and Brad know I'll be out in a second. I have to get the paperwork drawn up."

Selling her favorite piece? Was she crazy? The moment Peyton finished her last brush stroke; she knew she could never sell it. Sitting alone in her office chair, Peyton began to contemplate her rash decision.

Art is created to be seen. For many, selling a piece of art would be an easy decision. Having someone to actually want to buy their work would be a testament to their talents and would be the biggest compliment to their work. But to Peyton Sawyer, this wasn't just any painting. For the first time in her young career, she was able to capture her own emotions into her work. Having it hang by her office door let the guarded Peyton display her heart without letting everyone know it was hers. It wasn't an easy decision to sell her painting but she had to do it. It was just time to let it go.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Seriously, that's the painting you're going to hang up there?" Sam said as she walked up beside Peyton.

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong with it? Peyton. Honey. I love you, but this," Sam pointed at the painting, "is probably the ugliest piece of work I've ever seen. Plus it's right by my desk and I have to see it every day."

"And exactly what painting should I hang up there instead?"

Sam shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe something just as pretty and inspiring as the other one?"

Mentally, Peyton went through her inventory for something just as inspiring. There was nothing that came to mind.

"How about this: you start taking down that thing you call art, and I'll go into the back and see what we have. We'll hang that one up until you paint something great again."

Before Peyton could agree or disagree, Sam left the room. She was alone in the gallery for no more than ten seconds when the front door opened. Peyton spun around.

"Hi, Peyton." It was Brad and he was carrying a brown cardboard box.

"Hey, Brad. I think that box is a little small for the painting," she joked. "Lucky for you I've got the painting all wrapped up for you already. Let me go get it."

"Thanks, Peyton, but actually I'm not here for that." Brad said as he placed the box onto Sam's desk.

"Oookay." She said with curiosity. "What's in the box?"

Brad shrugged. "I don't know. I thought you might know."

Peyton shook her head, "I've never seen it before."

"Really? It has your name on it."

Brad turned the box around. Sure enough, written in a black permanent marker was her name.

"Where did you get it?"

"From Lucas' apartment. I was cleaning out his place and found it in his closet."

"It's Lucas'? But…wait, did you say cleaning out his place?"

"Yeah," Brad shifted uncomfortably, "I figured you would have heard by now."

"Heard what?"

"I'm selling his apartment for him. He moved, Peyton."

"Oh. Where about? Downtown? Uptown?" she guessed with hopes that Lucas just moved into another New York apartment.

"Peyton, I'm sorry to be the one telling you this, but Lucas isn't coming back to New York. He moved back to Tree Hill."

* * *

The volume on her stereo was cranked up half way to the max. Heavy metal eighties rock poured through the speakers in her art room. Just a quarter of a turn to the right would cause her walls to pulse, causing her next-door neighbors to pound on their walls. A quarter of a turn more would have the cops pounding at her front door. Peyton had learned that the hard way. But even with Bad Religion's _Best for You, _blaring through her speakers, Peyton never heard a note. She didn't even hear Michael enter her private studio.

Michael winced as he neared the stereo, hoping that he'd be able to turn the noise off with his ear drums still intact.

The sudden silence in the room still wasn't enough to pull Peyton away from her deep thoughts.

"Peyton?" Michael called to her.

The artist blinked her eyes a few times, startled by the sudden appearance of her fiancée. Only her easel separated them.

"Michael. Hey!" she put on a smile, "You're home early."

"I have some good news. I just got off the phone with the church administrator and the church is available. So our wedding date is officially set."

"That's…that's great." Peyton smiled.

He raised a concerned brow as he expected a bit more excitement from his bride to be. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I just um...I have a lot on my mind right now, you know and this painting…"

"You're painting again? Well that's great, right?" Michael smiled with relief, "You haven't painted anything in a few weeks now and now...well can I see?"

As he stepped to his right, to get around the easel, Peyton stepped to her left and blocked his path.

"Hey, I just want to take a peek."

"No peeking. You remember my rules."

"What rules? You never had any rules before."

"New ones," she quickly made up, "New inspiration, new rules."

"Aw come on. Please?" he pouted, "Being engaged to the most beautiful and talented artist in New York City has to have some sort of perks."

Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned in a kissed him.

"Mmm...I like this perk too." Michael said, leaning in for more.

Peyton shook her head and gently pushed him back. "And it'll be the only perk for the _week _if you don't leave right now."

"What?"

"Go." Peyton smiled. "Before I lose my inspiration."

"OK, but only because you smiled."

After Michael left the room, Peyton let the smile disappear from her face. Her canvas wasn't full of vivid colours , nor did it hold a beautiful scenery. Instead, it was blank. Not even a speck of paint marred the white canvas. Peyton had been in her studio for hours but nothing to show for it.

Peyton gave up. She had never been a fan of forced art. Instead, Peyton began to clean up. First, by watching the paint bleed into the sink, colouring the water. The unused brushes were then stored in her red tool box, except for one seemingly rebellious brush that had fallen onto the floor and bounced under the nearby table.

"Great," she muttered to herself as she knelt down onto all fours to retrieve the brush. That's when she came face to face with it.

The box.

It was still closed and untouched. The last person to rummage through it was Lucas, the owner of the box. The contents of the box were for him to cherish and for him to keep. Peyton had wanted to keep it that way, even if there was a part of her that wanted to open it. She felt like Pandora.

Pandora's Box.

As the legend goes, Pandora had been given a box but was instructed not to open the box. Unfortunately, her curiosity got the best of her and she opened it. Greed, vanity, slander, envy and pining had been released unto humanity before Pandora shut the box tight again, leaving only hope safely stored in the box.

Peyton's box.

Technically, the name written on the box made it – and its contents – hers. Slowly, Peyton reached for one of the flaps. Once her fingers felt the rigid cardboard, Peyton withdrew her hand quickly, as if it were on fire. If she opened the box, what exactly would she be releasing?

Maybe just a quick peek.

No. It wasn't right.

But Lucas would never know.

Name or no name, it still wasn't hers.

Finally after debating with herself for a few more minutes, curiosity won again.

Old pictures, artwork, concert tickets, and souvenir key chains from their road trips filled the box. As Peyton dug through their past, she couldn't help but smile as she remembered each moment. She had forgotten a few memories, but remembered most of them.

The last object remaining in her trip down memory lane was a usb jump drive. Peyton curiously looked at the device. She bit her lower lip as she debated on what to do. Finally she stood up walked towards her laptop.

After inserting the drive into the port, a file popped up onto her screen. Opening the file, she found more folders, each labeled from 2005 to 2010. Peyton moved her cursor to the 2005 file and double clicked her mouse. Fourteen icons suddenly stared back at her. Curiously, she randomly double clicked one of the icons. Seconds later, her itunes player popped up and her own voice pumped from the speakers.

_My friend, Lucas, gave me Dorian Gray. I'm talking about the Oscar Wilde book, not the Swedish pop band…_

She couldn't believe it. They were the podcasts she had done when she was a teenager. She sat down and listened to her past thoughts and feelings

… _it's that whole idea that art reflects the soul and sometimes it takes on a life of its own. I think that's true, ya know? I look at the work I've done, ya know, the art that's up on my walls. It means different things to me on different days. Sometimes I recognize the person behind it, sometimes I don't._

_Anyway, it's probably a good book if you're into the twilight zone stuff, but I couldn't get all the way through it. But the cool thing about Lucas and his books is that they come with all the good parts underlined, ya know? And in this case, he even dog-eared a page for me…_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Ever since she was a little girl, she always dreamed of having a small, intimate wedding. A large and extravagant wedding just didn't appeal to her. Only her closest friends and father would stand on her side, supporting and witnessing the most important day in Peyton Sawyer's life.

"Are you sure about this?" her father whispered just as the wedding march began to play. "It's not too late."

Peyton gave her father an odd look. Larry shrugged and offered his arm to his daughter. As she looped her arm through his, Peyton blinked.

Before she knew it, Peyton was standing before the minister, holding on to her future husband's hand.

"Michael Andrew Carter, do you take Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer to be your wedded wife to live together in marriage. Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Michael confidently answered.

The minister turned to Peyton.

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, do you take, Michael Andrew Carter to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage. Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so as long as you both shall live?"

All eyes were on Peyton. Her eyes stared deeply into his. On baited breath, Michael waited for her answer. Peyton closed her eyes. A smile appeared on her face.

"I..." Peyton started to say. "I don't."

Surprised gasps echoed throughout the church. Even Peyton was shocked herself. That's when Peyton opened her eyes.

Her heart was beating rapidly and her breathing was rugged. She blinked a few times. She wasn't in a church, but on her couch in her living room. Gone was the minister and Michael. Her white wedding dress was replaced with an ivory coloured blanket that covered her petite body.

It had been a dream.

* * *

All he wanted for Peyton was for her to be happy. That's what he wished for every Christmas, but this year all he wanted for Christmas was for Peyton to come home. It had been five years since she had last been in Tree Hill and it was time for her to come back. And he was going to bring her home.

"So can I get you anything else, Mr. Sawyer?" he asked politely.

Larry wiped his mouth with a napkin, "No, thanks. And Rakeboy?"

"Yeah?"

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Larry?"

Lucas shrugged and laughed, "Sorry, sir. Habit, I guess."

Since being home, Lucas started helping Karen out with the café as much as he could, but was limited to only serving customers at the counter. The doctor advised him to keep his stresses to a minimal, but a little work wouldn't harm him.

"Well, it's great to see you again, Lucas. How's your heart holding up?"

"It's still not a hundred percent, but the doc said it's healing."

"Good to hear." Larry finished off the rest of his coffee and stood up. He opened his wallet and set a twenty-dollar bill for an $8.95 bill on the counter. "Well, I got to run. Got to check the airfares."

"Going to see Peyton for Christmas?"

"Something like that." Larry smiled and waved as he left the café.

Even if it was only for a week or two, at least he'd have his little girl home and hopefully she'd be happy too.

* * *

"Been dreaming about me lately?"

"Huh?" Peyton had heard Micheal's voice, but her mind was preoccupied with something else and didn't process what he had said.

Michael smirked as handed her the book he was holding. _Psychodynamic Interpretation of_ _Dreams_, she recognized the book, but not because she had read it once before, but because it was the book Lucas had been reading when she had been sick with the flu.

"I don't mind you reading my books, but could you use a bookmark next time?" Michael asked gently as he opened the book up to the page that was dog-eared.

He kissed her cheek sweetly and left the room. Peyton curiously scanned the passage and that's when she spotted it. It was ever so faint, but she saw it. The line marked the sentence that was meant to be read by her. When Peyton finished reading what was underlined, she put the book down and sank into her couch. Sitting alone in the room, Peyton subconsciously began playing with her engagement ring.

Sometimes in dreams we can be things we wish we could be, or be with people we want to be with.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Peyton watched as a red Toyota Camry cut off a green SUV. The cars behind the SUV screeched to halt, each coming within centimeters of the bumper in front of them. A symphony of horns started - and she thought New York City was full of crazy drivers.

A sudden _**thud**_ wiped the smirk off her face. Peyton looked down at the suitcase that nearly landed on her toe than back up at a shivering Sam.

"I thought you said it wasn't going to be cold." Sam said, pulling her coat tighter around herself, trying to warm up. "No wonder Michael bailed at the last minute. He probably checked the weather channel, saw how cold it was and volunteered to work those extra shifts."

Peyton sympathetically looked at a Sam who was wearing a fashionable jacket, fit for fall weather and not for the winter winds of Tree Hill.

"And need I remind you," Sam continued her rant, "that I'm here because you didn't want to be out here all alone? So the least you could do is offer me your warm jacket."

The thunderous roar of an airplane, which had just taken off, drowned out Peyton's laugh. "Oh, but I do recall a certain someone _begging_ me to rescue her from spending Christmas with drunk Aunt Ida and pervy Uncle Pete?"

Sam shot her friend a death glare, "Doesn't mean you should let your friend freeze to death."

"Come here." Peyton wrapped her arm around Sam for warmth. "For what it's worth, favor or not, I am glad that you came. I really do need you here with me."

Sam rolled her eyes, "Yeah, because…wait a second here. You're actually being sincere. Are you ok?"

Before Peyton had a chance to answer, a car beeped as it pulled up in front of them. Peyton looked up and smiled, but before the smile appeared on her face, Sam could have sworn that she caught a pair of sad eyes.

The driver in the red classic car hurried out of the car and towards the girls with a smile of his own.

"Daddy!" Peyton wrapped her arms around her father.

"Hi, honey. It's so good to see you." Larry gave his daughter one last squeeze before pulling back. "Welcome back home."

* * *

Memories of her childhood flooded Peyton's mind as Larry drove home. They passed the park where Peyton first learned to ride a bike and the swings where her mother would push a six-year-old Peyton. The trees in the park were bare, reminding Peyton of the cold. She always remembered the winters in Tree Hill being mild. There were days where it would be cold, but not cold enough for it to snow.

There was that one year, though, when it did snow. Peyton was in the sixth grade. During the night, a snowstorm blanketed the small town with white snow. A snow day was called and a cheery Brooke Davis spent the day in the Sawyer's backyard, helping Peyton build a snow fort, with a tunnel.

Larry turned left, driving past the record store, a place Peyton definitely wanted to stop by before going back to New York. Downtown Tree Hill hadn't changed much at all. A few changes in businesses, but the old stone buildings kept the area quaint and homely. As they approached the next block, the light turned red. Peyton groaned to herself as the car came to a stop in front of the café she wanted to avoid. She slouched back into her seat, turning her face away from the window, in case a certain owner's son was gazing out the window.

"_You know, I used to watch you?" _

_Peyton stopped sketching and met his blue eyes, wondering if she heard him right._

"_Over there." He pointed to the newsstands in front of THUD! _

"_When?" _

"_Oh, Freshman year," Lucas vividly thought back and remembered that it wasn't just that year he spied on Peyton, "Sophomore year uh, both summers actually. Every weekend, you'd stop, pick up the latest edition of THUD!, lean against the stand and torture me. Sometimes you'd even sit on top of the stand. Man, did you ever torture me."_

_She was embarrassed. "Stop it!" but she was also curious, "What did you watch?"_

_Lucas pointed to her legs with his flirting eyes, "Your legs mostly."_

"_What?!"_

"_Ohhh, I'm serious," he pointed again, this time with both his eyes and index finger, "From up close, they're a little chicken-y." _

_Playfully, Peyton pushed him away and laughed._

"_Shut up!" _

"_But!" he tried to defend himself "Form where I was watching they were pretty awesome." _

_Lucas laughed as Peyton stared out the window to exact place where she would stand across the street. _

"_I'm not sure that's a compliment."_

"_Ohh it is, trust me." _

_Peyton smiled one last time as Lucas let out a deep breath. _

"_But then Brooke would come along, carrying a huge shopping bag, and take you away."_

_Her heart began to ache again as she watched Lucas return to his book as if the flirting conversation didn't happen. It wasn't fair. Out of the blue, Lucas confessed that he watched her from a far and she'd be damned if she lied and said that it didn't make her feel sexy. But damn him for ruining his story by ending it with Brooke. Broken up or not, it always went back to her. _

Finally, Larry turned onto their street. With the exception of that ten-second stop, Peyton enjoyed reminiscing that past as she watched the town through the window. She couldn't wait to re-explore the town on foot and tell Sam, who had fallen asleep in the back of the car, what she had missed.

"I know how much you love surprises," Larry turned off the ignition and turned to Peyton. "So I've prepared a little surprise for you."

The smile on her face beamed, "What is it?"

"Actually, I'm not sure it's ready yet…"

"Aw come on, daddy. You know I hate it when you tease me about presents. Tell me. PUH-LEASE!"

"Alright, fine. Let's go."

Peyton and a groggy Sam followed Larry to the side of the house. They headed towards the garage, where the doors where open. The back end of the classic, black '63 Comet was in clear view. Larry didn't have to look back to know that his daughter was following. Peyton was always a sucker for presents, especially surprises.

It had taken all afternoon to figure out the problem with the carburetor. A simple cleaning was all it needed to make the car run smoothly again. He smiled proudly to himself as he took one last look at Peyton's car. He gave the hood one last wipe with a clean cloth before he was fully satisfied with his work. It was perfect.

Bending down, he started to pack up his tools. As he picked up his wrench, he heard footsteps approaching. Curiously he peeked over the hood of the car. Lucas was relieved to see that Larry had returned and stood up.

"So where's my surprise?" her sweet voice filled his ears.

Then she emerged from behind Larry and he finally saw her. The wrench in his hand fell, landing noisily on the concrete ground, but not before hitting his big toe.

Peyton jumped at the unexpected noise and then captured the surprised eyes of Lucas. The look of shock was frozen on both of their faces. She knew that running into him was inevitable. What she didn't know was that it was going to happen before she had a chance to set foot into her own house.

The throbbing pain made Lucas want to grab his big toe and curse like a sailor. But he didn't. The mere sight of her froze him.

Larry noticed the sudden uneasiness and awkwardness. "Surprise?"

* * *

**A/N:** Originally I was going to make up a flashback, but I kinda liked this scene in season four. So, since season four and on doesn't take place in this fic, I borrowed and tweaked the scene to make it fit in here.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Lucas opened the front door and let himself into his best friend's house. Noises of pots and pans bumping into each other came from the kitchen. As Lucas hobbled towards the kitchen, he could hear Haley quietly sing to herself as she stirred the contents in one of the pots.

"As if my day couldn't get… ugh, what is that smell?" Lucas held his nose as he walked into the kitchen.

"Well, 'hello' to you too, Lucas. I had a great day and I believe that smell is you." Haley added a curt smile before noticing Lucas limping. "Oh my God, Luke. Are you ok? What happened?"

He lowered himself onto the kitchen stool, across from his best friend.

"Well, I was helping Larry fix Peyton's car when all of sudden – poof- there's Peyton. Then I dropped the wrench on my foot."

"Poof-there's Peyton?" Haley chuckled.

"Yeah, poof- there's Peyton."

"So what did you say to her?"

"Nothing. I told Larry I was late for work and left. What was I supposed to...wait." Lucas suspiciously eyes his best friend, "You're not surprised that Peyton's home are you?"

"Oh, I um...look the tuna casserole is burning."

"You knew!" he accused, catching Haley's arm before she could get away too far, "And you didn't care to tell me, your best friend?"

"Oh, don't even go there, Scott." She pointed a finger at him, "You can't play the best friend card on this one, especially since you never told me that you moved back home. I had to hear that from Peyton who heard it from Brad, whom, by the way, had just met Peyton."

"You're still mad about that? Is that why you didn't tell me?"

"I'm not mad about that…at least not anymore." Haley sighed and shut the oven off. She came around the counter and took a seat beside Lucas. "Lucas, you and I, are best friends always. But I'm also friends with Peyton and she asked me not to tell you."

"So a friend trumps a _**best**_ friend?"

"I am so not going to argue with you on this. Besides it's not as important as you trying to figure out what you're going to do now that Peyton is back in Tree Hill."

Lucas raised a brow. "What _**I'm**_ going to do? _**She **_didn't want me knowing that she was coming home. Why do I have to make the effort?"

"Because you forget that I know you Luke. The minute Peyton goes back to New York, it'll be five years ago all over again. You'll blame yourself and regret letting her go and then wonder 'what if'. And then when you realize what a big mistake you made, you'll be too late."

"That's the thing. I don't think I will. Haley, I told her I loved her and she said that we shouldn't be friends. She moved on and now it's time that I did too."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. You probably just freaked her out and she just said stuff she didn't mean. And maybe that's why she's here now. Maybe she's here to apologize."

"So you think I should give her a chance?"

She nodded.

Lucas took a moment to consider the option. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can. I laid my heart on the line. I told her that I wanted to be with her. And she…she just…I was too late. She's in love with someone else and I have to accept that."

"I know it's hard for you and I'm sorry. But is there any way you can at least try? I mean Peyton is_** home**_, Luke - despite everything that's gone on between the two of you, she came back. It's got to mean something, right?"

"Yeah, it means she wants to spend Christmas with her father."

"Lucas, you guys were best friends once. Don't you even want to try to get that back?"

"Haley, why are you so adamant about fixing my relationship with Peyton?"

"I'm…I'm not." Haley's stutter didn't go unnoticed by Lucas.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

Haley feigned innocence, "N…no."

"_**Haley**_…" Lucas said threateningly.

She knew by the tone in his voice that she had to spit out the secret she had been keeping. "."

"What? But Haley..."

"Look, you can brood and ignore her all you want while she's here. But come Christmas Eve you will be at her house for dinner. It's tradition." Haley pointed her finger at him, "Which means, **you** will be there. No if, and or but about it."

Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but Haley, like any mother, had the final say.

"Lucas Eugene Scott, you will be there. And you will be on your best behaviour. End of discussion."

"Why doesn't this surprise me?" Sam remarked when she stepped into Peyton's bedroom.

"What?" Peyton asked, walking pass Sam to jump onto her bed.

"This." Sam dropped her bags to motion around the room, "The dark red walls. The teen-angst driven art plastered all over the room. Owning records instead of CDs, which is very cool, by the way. This is exactly how I'd imagine your room."

"Whatever." Peyton laughed, throwing a pillow at Sam.

Sam caught the pillow and joined Peyton on the bed. "So, where are all the other drawings?"

"What other drawings?"

"The good ones. You know the personal ones that have a juicy story behind them. Come on, I know you have them somewhere."

Peyton shook her head and looked up at her brunette friend.

* * *

_"How long?" Brooke demanded to know as she stormed into Peyton's bedroom, "How long have you had feelings for Lucas?"_

_"I...I don't know." Peyton, frightened, edged back towards her desk._

_"Liar." Brooke stepped closer, studying Peyton's fidgeting hands. There was something she was hiding. "Tell me the truth."_

_"Brooke, I am telling you the truth. I don't know how or why, but it just happened." the conviction in Peyton's voice was convincing to hear, but Brooke wasn't blind. It was only a quick glance that could have been missed in the blink of an eye, but Brooke saw it. Peyton's eyes had betrayed her, revealing her coveted leather bound sketchbook that sat idly on the nightstand. _

_They locked eyes again. Brooke's eyes were fierce and outraged. Peyton's eyes were pleading and scared. _

_Both girls lunged for the book at the same time. Brooke ran around the bed. Peyton dove across the bed, reaching the book first. But out of clumsiness, she knocked the book to the ground - giving Brooke the chance to swoop in. _

_Peyton sat up, pulling her legs to her chest in defeat. She couldn't bear to watch Brooke flip through her heart and soul. _

_Her mouth fell open. Peyton's drawings revealed more than Brooke bargained for. She didn't need to see them all. The sketches of Lucas and Peyton chronologically painted the picture. Brooke slammed the book shut and threw it at Peyton. Lucky for Peyton, Brooke was a cheerleader and not a baseball player. The book hit the wall and bounced on the bed before it settled down beside her._

_"Since the summer! When I was in California? We were __**best**__ friends, Peyton! Apparently it meant __**nothing**__ to you!"_

_"Brooke..."_

_"No. Just save it Peyton. I don't want to hear any more lies from you. It's over. We're done. And if you want to tell Lucas just how pathetically in love you are with him, then go right ahead. But remember this - __**I **__have nothing to lose. He __**chose**__ me."_

_They were supposed to be best friends; supposed to share and keep secrets; supposed to know each other better than anyone. But they didn't. And there was one thing that Peyton never learned about Brooke. Brooke had learned to play poker from her father. _

_Perhaps had Peyton known that, maybe she would have called her bluff and would have told Lucas how she really felt._

_Instead, after Brooke walked out of the Sawyer's residence for the very last time, Peyton reached for her sketchbook and flipped through it one last time._

_

* * *

_

"You're about five years too late. I burned them."

"What?" Sam says with surprise.

"Yup. Before I left Tree Hill - I wanted a clean start. I didn't want to bring my past - and I didn't want anyone to see them - so I burned them."

"You? Burned art? Highly unlikely, but whatever." Sam jumped off the bed, "Yearbooks! If I can't embarrass you with your _oh woe is me _sketches, I can at least get a good laugh at your high school pictures. And who knows, maybe I'll discover one of your deep dark secrets..."

Sam's mouth kept moving a mile a minute but nothing reached Peyton's ears. There were so many demons that she left behind and wasn't ready to face. She was beginning to think that coming home was a bad idea after all.

"Hey! Are you listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you called Michael yet? You know, to tell him that we got in OK?"

"Oh, um. No."

"Well, you should probably do that now."

"Yeah. I will." Peyton nodded, "Later. He's in surgery till late."

"Oh. Well then remind me later to call my mom, just in case she worries. A HA! I found them. Tree Hill High School Yearbooks." Sam pulled four black, white and blue books from the corner of the closet. "Freshman Peyton - please have braces or some horrible hair cut."

Peyton managed a small laugh. "Well, sorry to disappoint, but my freshman year was pretty good, physically, anyways. The horrible hair cut didn't come until senior year."

"Alright, skipping right on to senior year."

Sam climbed back onto the bed just as the house phone rang.

"Told you should have called Michael. He's probably worried sick about you."

Peyton said nothing as she got off the bed to answer the phone in another room.

"Hello."

"You were supposed to call me when you got in."

"Haley!" Peyton smiled, relieved. "Dude, we just got in. And I'm assuming that by the way Lucas fled my place this morning, he didn't really have to go to work at the cafe."

"He may have hobbled over here after you nearly gave him another heart attack."

"I should have told him I was coming." Peyton sighed.

"Yeah, you kind of freaked him out a bit."

"Well he wasn't the only one that was freaked out. I mean being back here...in my old room and going through my yearbooks, I kinda forgot that so much happened."

"Nothing really changed though. Except for the fact that I now have three kids. You are coming by later to officially meet the rugrats, right?"

"Of course! Tonight I am yours as long as I can bring a rugrat of my own - and by that I mean Sam."

"Wait. I thought you were coming with Michael."

"Uh, change of plans. Work, you know." Peyton said sadly, as she slipped her engagement ring off. Holding it between two fingers, Peyton rotated it in the light. Each cut on the diamond sparkled brightly.

"Right. Doctors - no rest for the wicked, I guess."

"Yeah." Peyton slipped the ring back on, "Hey, Sam is calling - I think she found my high school picture. But I will definitely see you later, Hales."

"Hey, Peyton." Haley said quickly before Peyton could hang up. "I'm glad you're back."

At least someone was glad Peyton Sawyer was back in Tree Hill.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Meteorologists predicted a white Christmas this year for the residents of Tree Hill and it was the talk of the town for the entire week. There were mixed feelings about the bold prediction. Most of the town folk were excited and their spirits were high for the rare weather phenomenon while some were leery and the rest were anxious because the last time Tree Hill had snow, it came in the form of a blizzard.

But as Christmas approached and the temperature dropped, not a flake had fallen.

Still, the town waited.

And waited.

And then finally, on the morning December 23rd, snow began to fall from the sky.

Tree Hill was definitely going to have a white Christmas this year.

The crystallized precipitation had blanketed the town within hours after the first flake had fallen. Many of the children of Tree Hill spent the afternoon in their front yards playing. They were amazed by the cold white stuff that could turn into snow men or snow forts.

With the town out playing in the snow, Karen's Café was empty, with the exception of the owner's son who insisted on taking care of the business so that his mother could finish some last minute errands before Christmas Eve. Lucas stood by the front window, watching a small group of children engage in a friendly snow ball fight across the street.

It was nearing closing time when a car pulled up to the curb in front of the café. Lucas cursed under his breath – not because the car now obstructed his view of the snow ball fight – but because the person behind the wheel was Peyton.

He quickly backed away from the window. On his way back to his place behind the counter Lucas hoped that Peyton was in the area to shop at the art supply store next door.

No such luck.

The front door opened and in entered a cold gust of wind followed by Peyton – the curly blonde was trying to avoid – with a shivering Sam in tow. He had been able to evade Peyton for the past few days but now he felt trapped.

"Hey." Peyton greeted with a small, timid smile.

He leaned back against the counter, arms across his chest. "Hi."

"F-f-four hot chocolates." Sam ordered through her chattering teeth. "And your r-restrooms?"

Lucas pointed to his left before he grabbed the cocoa canister. Sam hurried off to the back of the café, leaving him alone with Peyton.

As he busied himself with the task of making the order, he couldn't help but hear Peyton's hesitant footsteps as they approached him. They didn't stop until she was seated on the stool, directly in front of him.

"Things haven't changed much in here." She commented on the café's décor.

He took a quick glance at her and noticed that there was something different about her. She didn't appear to be the happy, confident girl he left in New York anymore. Her tired eyes and frowning brows, all masked with a smile, resembled the Peyton he knew in high school.

"So," She said softly, trying to break the awkward silence. "I kinda get this feeling that you've been avoiding me lately."

"I've been busy." He shrugged.

"Oh yeah? With what?"

Lucas inwardly cringed when she purposely ignored his cold behavior and pretended that they were still friends.

"Tell me what's going on with you now. It's been a while since we've last talked."

Lucas hated small talk. The polite chatter was reserved for people who barely knew each other or acquaintances who never kept in touch on a regular basis. Good friends didn't need fake conversations with fake smiles or concerns. They were no longer good friends.

"Fine." He answered.

Her friendly smile disappeared with his one word answer. This wasn't going to be easy.

"You know, I'm glad you're coming over tomorrow for dinner."

"Yeah. Kinda hard to say no when your arm's being twisted."

"Oh."

Peyton's response was exactly what he wanted. He wanted her to realize that he didn't want her around. For her to know that he wasn't there for her and that they were no longer friends. And now that Lucas had accomplished that, why did he feel so bad?

"Haley and I have this Christmas Eve tradition." He tried to explain.

"Right. Your tradition." Peyton continued, "Every year the two of you have Christmas Eve dinner together. Haley would make her favorite; macaroni and cheese and you would make yours; chocolate chip cookies. Then after you'd exchange gifts while watching _It's a Wonderful Life_. And the whole time Haley would wear that stupid hat with bells on it."

Lucas looked confused and perhaps bewildered at how she knew of their tradition.

"Freshman year of college, my dad called me a few days before Christmas to say that he couldn't make it home. He said that he was sorry and that he didn't want me to be alone for the holidays, but I lied and told him that I would be fine."

Peyton waited to see if Lucas remembered. If he did he didn't seem too eager to fill in his side of the story. He kept his focus on making Karen's Café's famous hot chocolate.

"So Christmas Eve rolls around and I'm alone, in my room, sketching some kind of depressing drawing," Peyton let out an embarrassed laugh, "And then I hear my doorbell ring. It was you and Haley with bags of groceries."

* * *

_"Merry Christmas!" Haley shook her head to jingle the bells on her elf hat as she cheerfully greeted Peyton. _

_Lucas apologetically looked at Peyton, "I told her - no I __**begged**__ her not to wear that hat out in public."_

_"Oh you know you love my hat." Haley, with no free hands to hit Lucas, nudged him with her shoulder as she let herself into the Sawyer's residence. "Don't worry," she said to Peyton, "I know where the kitchen is."_

_Peyton, speechless, stared at Lucas. Then it dawned on her. "My dad. He called you, didn't he?"_

_"He was just worried..."_

_"I'm fine."_

_"I never said you weren't. Look, normally it's just me and Haley on Christmas Eve, but quite frankly, I'm getting tired of her." Lucas shrugged his shoulders and put on his best lost little puppy dog look, "So I was kinda hoping that you'd help me out."_

_Everything inside of Peyton wanted to scream 'YES!' and to hug him for wanting to spend Christmas Eve with her, but she didn't. In a very Peyton-Sawyer-like fashion, she kept her emotions in check._

_"Fine, but you're cleaning up the kitchen when you're done."

* * *

_

Lucas couldn't help but let out a small smile as he remembered the memory. Peyton had acted as if she didn't care about spending the holidays alone, but her eyes had given her away. They never looked so happy and relieved when she finally let Lucas into her home.

"After dinner, we decorated my Christmas tree and then you and Haley exchanged presents. But before you guys opened them, you reached into your bag and pulled out a gift for me, just so I wouldn't be left out."

And there it was. That rare Peyton Sawyer smile. Since the age of nine, when her mother was killed in a car accident, Peyton never seemed to have a reason to give a real smile. No one could blame her though. No one could help her either. Her father had tried, but when Peyton turned thirteen and was capable of being on her own for a few days, he started taking longer jobs at sea. He soon realized that it was easier to be away at sea then it was to be surrounded by reminders of the wife he had lost. Peyton realized this as well. She noticed the difference in her father's smile through the webcam. It was also the smile that flashed through her mind when her father asked if it was ok if he could take trips that would last months at a time.

Then there was Brooke Davis - Peyton's childhood best friend. Brooke had been there from the beginning and tried mercilessly over the years to cheer up Peyton. After several attempts, Brooke just simply accepted defeat and accepted that Peyton was always going to be a brooding artist that nobody would ever understand. Besides, Brooke had more important things to worry about, like her popularity and becoming squad captain.

There was a third person in Peyton's life. That was a young and immature Nathan Scott - Peyton's first serious boyfriend - who wasn't there for Peyton's earlier drama and never wanted to deal with it either. He was only there for one thing – to make Peyton forget for a while.

Larry, Brooke and Nathan, they were all a part of Peyton's teenage life - a life that dwelled on her unhappiest moment ever. They had all tried to be there for Peyton, but the masochist didn't want to unload her problems on theirs. Instead Peyton forced and faked a few smiles in public to mask her true feelings.

For years she thought she had everyone in Tree Hill fooled with her smiles. But that day changed when she finally met the boy who watched her from a far. That boy was an outsider and saw that there was something more to the Peyton Sawyer that everybody was so blind to see. She was a riddle, wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch, just waiting to be seen.

"I still have it, you know? The picture."

And that boy who could see her was also the one who was able to reach her, save her and more importantly, still make her smile - and mean it.

"I keep it in my office drawer at the gallery."

But she continued to mystify him.

Lucas looked up at Peyton, almost shocked that she had kept it after all this time, especially, after their fall out.

Peyton took a second to take a peek at Lucas. The surprised look on his face satisfied her. There was still hope for them.

"It meant a lot to me. It still does." Peyton cleared her throat. "You know, I actually never meant to take it. It must have fallen into my suitcase when I was packing because when I got to the hotel in Chicago, there it was."

It was a picture that meant a lot to him as well. So much so that he had the same picture of the two of them, taken seconds after Peyton found out that he had gotten them front row tickets to the Matthew Ryan concert. They were hugging and smiling with excitement. They were happy.

"I was so angry when I first saw it. I wanted to throw it out the window, but thankfully, the hotel window didn't open wide enough," she tried to joke, "because every time I missed home or missed you, I'd take that picture out and look at it and it would cheer me up. It was like you were with me everywhere I went."

"Why are you telling me this?" He exhaled his frustration and set aside the four cups of steaming cocoa.

"Because we used to be so close, Luke. And I miss the way we used to be able to talk to each other, but now there's this awkward vibe going on between us."

"Peyton…" he tried to interrupt her but she continued with her speech.

"And I don't want to ignore it anymore. I'm tired of it. I mean the last time we did, well five years passed and..."

"And we're not friends." He finished for her.

"Well, yeah." She agreed softly. "I know there's a lot of things we need to talk about – things I need to tell you and –"

"And then what? We'd go back the way things were?" he asked but never gave Peyton a chance to answer. Lucas shook his head. "You really think that you could just waltz back home, reminisce about the past and forget about everything that happened in New York?"

"No." she said quickly, "Not exactly. But you, you blindsided me and, and..." Peyton stuttered as her mind struggled to find words.

"And you ran, Peyton, just like you did five years ago."

"Dammit, Luke. I was engaged! What did you expect me to do? Fall into your arms? Tell you that I loved you too? I'm sorry if I bruised your ego, but I couldn't do that."

"You don't get it, do you? This isn't about my ego. It never was." He placed his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned over. "All I wanted was for you to be honest and you were; we're not friends; we're not _**anything**_. I get it. You didn't have to come back to remind me."

"You think I came back to remind you that we're not friends? Lucas I came back because…" her voice fades as she tries to control her emotions, but she fails. Her eyes begin to tear and her bottom lip trembles. "It doesn't matter why I came back. Clearly I'm wasting my time here."

Peyton stood up and started to leave but she stopped to look at him one last time. "You know, when I left Tree Hill it was because I thought I had nothing left for me here. I guess I was right; there is nothing left for me here."

Then Peyton's angry heels pounded the floor and didn't stop until she walked out the front door and out into the brewing storm.

In anger Lucas threw the spoon he was using to make the cocoa on the counter. The silver spoon bounced back, hitting one of the paper cups. Hot brown liquid splashed into the air, catching Lucas on the hand.

"Dammit." Lucas cursed as he brought his hand up to his lips. He grabbed a cloth with his other hand and started to clean up the mess.

"You're out of toilet paper." Sam said when she emerged from the washroom. As she rounded the counter, she noticed that Peyton was nowhere to be seen. Looking around the small café, Sam spotted Peyton getting into her car.

Sam shrugged and took a seat on one of the stools. "She forget her purse in the car again?"

Lucas stared at Sam for a second, then back up just in time to see Peyton driving away.

Lucas threw the towel down on the counter and muttered, "She didn't forget her purse. She forgot you." before heading to kitchen.

"What?"

Sam spun around. Peyton's car was gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** There's a flashback in this chapter from season one and belongs to the show.

* * *

**Chapter 23**

'Twas the night before Christmas Eve, when all through the Sawyer's house, an elf was stirring and a husband sat idly on the couch. Elf Haley hung the stockings by the chimney with care with hopes that Nathan wouldn't just stare.

"Nathan, is this centered?"

"It's fine, Hales." Nathan comments automatically.

"Could you at least look up from the TV for one second?"

Nathan turned his head, looked at his wife, who was wearing a ridiculous green and red elf hat, and smiled, "It's fine. Haley, the entire house looks great. It's like a mini version of the Santa's workshop you decorated at home."

Haley took a step back from the fireplace and admired her work. The tree was decorated with ornaments, the fireplace was complete with stockings and garland, the magazines on the coffee table were replaced with the nativity scene and mistletoe hung in the corner of the room.

"It's not bad. But it's not done yet." She eyed the room looking for areas that could use her Christmas touch. "Oh, I could put that that reindeer decoration I saw in the garage over there. Nathan, honey, could you go get it please?"

Nathan groaned. "The house is fine the way it is. Larry and Peyton will love it, especially since they barely decorate the place themselves every year. I mean they're lucky if the tree makes it out of the box."

"Exactly. That's why we need to go all out. Christmas comes once a year, but for Larry and Peyton – who knows when the last time the two of them even spent a holiday together."

"Alright, alright. I get it." Nathan caved and got up from the couch just as the front door opened. "And I'll get the rest of the decorations as soon as I finish my hot chocolate."

Haley let out a frustrated groan and turned her attention back to the fireplace. The garland was crooked and needed to be fixed.

An angry Sam stormed through the door and tried to slam the door shut on a trailing Lucas. Lucas caught the door before it could close with his foot and stepped into the house.

"Peyton!" Sam called out, while taking off her scarf and gloves, throwing them furiously on the ground. "Peyton? Where are you?"

"Sam?" Nathan asked with confusion when he entered the foyer. Sam spun to face him. Worry and concern plagued her face.

"Nathan, did Peyton make it back? Is she here?"

"Uh, wasn't she with you?"

"What's going on? What's with the yelling?" Haley asked when she joined them in the hallway. She looked at Sam and then at Lucas. "Lucas, what are you doing here?" Haley looked around the room again, finally noticing that she was missing, "Where's Peyton?"

"I – We don't know." Lucas answered.

"Great, she's probably lying in some ditch." Sam muttered.

"Oh, God. What happened?" Haley's stomach flipped at the thought of something terrible happening to her friend, "What's going on? Is Peyton ok?"

"Nobody." Lucas said quickly. "Nobody is lying in a ditch. Peyton took off and now we can't find her. She's not answering her cell and with the storm coming…"

"Wait," Nathan interrupted his brother, "why did Peyton take off?"

"Yeah, Lucas." Sam glared and dared him, "Why don't you tell them why?"

* * *

It wasn't the smartest of ideas to take off in her car when meteorologists predicted the worst snow storm in over ten years; granted, there was barely any snow on the ground when Peyton decided to escape and just drive.

It probably wasn't smart to take her usual route along the river either, but it was the only stretch of road that let her feel free; let her be alone and let her think. There weren't any stop signs or stop lights to slow her down. The best part was that there weren't any cars or people on that rural road.

Peyton owned that road. She had driven it so many times that she knew it like the back of her hand. She didn't need to see the black pavement and faded yellow line to know what side she should drive on. She also didn't need any signs to tell her where to go. This was her home – despite what he told her.

A few miles away from any major road in Tree Hill, the weather changed drastically. The blustering wind began to pick up. The pretty snowflakes no longer fluttered down; instead they fell fast and furiously. They fell by the thousands and nothing but whiteness could be seen in front of the old '63 comet.

Despite the horrid driving conditions, Peyton remained calm. She slowed down and carefully turned the car around to head back home. Slowly she began to pick up speed again. Her car wasn't made to be driven in the snow and Peyton knew that, but she also knew that she had to get home fast.

Suddenly, the back of her car swerved. The tires slipped. Black ice.

Her foot flew off the gas pedal as her hands calmly turned the wheel, first right, then left, then right again, to gain control of the car again. A few seconds later, the car stopped sliding. She was safe and still on the road, but Peyton didn't breathe a sigh of relief just yet. She was still miles away from home.

As Peyton continued on, at a slower speed, her cell phone went off. Normally, Peyton's right hand would carelessly let go of the steering wheel to retrieve her cell, but this time, Peyton decided against it. Although she knew whoever was calling was worried about her, they would just have to wait. She needed to remain focus on getting home safely first.

* * *

This was his fault. If he hadn't been so stubborn and so hurtful, Peyton wouldn't have ventured out into the storm. They all could have been sitting by the fire at the Sawyer's residence making the house look more festive for the holiday or playing a game of cards or Pictionary. She would have been home, safe.

Lucas sat by the front window. His head pressed against the cold glass and watched the wind wickedly throw the falling flakes and the snow that had already fallen to the ground in every direction.

Nathan sat on the couch in the living room unconsciously flipping through the channels on the television. Sam sat on the other side of the couch, staring at the phone and willing it to ring. She needed to hear Peyton's voice, telling her that she was ok. Occasionally her eyes would wander towards Lucas and throw imaginary daggers at the back of his head.

Haley was in the kitchen cleaning, trying to distract herself from worrying. It didn't work and eventually she gave up and joined them in the living room.

The second Haley sat down beside her husband, the phone rang.

Haley, Sam and Nathan dove for the phone. Lucas remained at his seat by the window, with his ears perked.

Sam reached the phone first, but Nathan's hand accidentally bumped it out of her hand and onto the phone. Haley swooped in and picked it up.

All four of them held their breath.

"_Hello?" _

It was Larry checking in. He had been at the docks helping other ships anchor safely in the harbor before the storm hit. The roads were terrible and instead of running the risk of getting stuck in a snow drift, he opted that it was safer to stay put.

"Um, yeah. Everyone is fine here, Mr. Sawyer." Haley's nose wrinkled. She hated lying but didn't want to worry Larry about his missing daughter just yet. "No, the kids aren't here. Deb picked them up earlier to spend some time with them. I will. Yes. We still have power. OK, I'll tell Peyton about the fuse box."

When Haley hung up the phone, the house was quiet again. Lucas resumed his position at the window, looking for a pair of headlights to light up the dark night. Haley settled onto the couch, leaning against her husband for comfort. Sam began to pace. As the seconds passed the more anxious she became.

"I can't take it." Sam said. "I'm going to call her again."

She quickly dialed Peyton's cell phone and waiting impatiently for Peyton to answer.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

Four rings.

And then…

"_Hey. You've reached Peyton Saw…"_

Click.

"Damn it. Voice mail, again."

"Peyton will be ok. Maybe her cell phone died and she's on her way back." Haley tried to be optimistic but her nervous voice said otherwise.

"This is _**your **_fault." Sam marched toward a detached Lucas, "If something happens to Peyton… if she's in a ditch somewhere…"

"Sam!" Haley stood up, blocking Sam's path. "Just calm down. Peyton is fine."

They were all worried enough and the last thing they needed was a scenario nobody wanted to think of.

Sam sat down and pouted.

Haley walked over to Lucas who was staring out the window and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. Lucas hadn't said much since Peyton left earlier in the evening. When his thoughts weren't replaying their conversation, they were thinking about going out into the storm to find her and bring her home. But where would start? Tree Hill may be a small town, but with the icy roads and blowing snow it could take hours to get from one end to the other.

"She's going to be ok." Haley tried to reassure everyone again. "We just have to be patient and wait for Peyton to call us."

Patience was never one of Nathan's strong suits. "I can't just sit here. I'm going to go look for her."

"Nathan," Haley grabbed her husband's hand.

"I'll take my cell. If she calls, then call me and I'll get her."

_RING. RING_

Sam, Haley and Nathan raced to the cordless house phone that sat idly on the coffee table. Lucas kept his focus out the window with one ear open.

"Hello?" Haley sighed with relief, "Oh, thank God. Peyton, are you ok?"

Nathan and Sam huddled closer to Haley. They all waited with bated breath, including Lucas. Then, Haley covered the receiver and let everyone know, "She's ok."

"What? You're stuck?" Haley turned her attention back to Peyton, "Where are you? River and Stone?"

"What's she doing out there?" Nathan asked, only to get Haley's hand in his face as a reply.

"Peyton, you're starting to break up. Yes, I heard River and Stone. What?"

Click.

_Silence_.

"Peyton? Hello?" Haley looked up at Nathan, "The line went dead."

"I'm coming with you." Sam said to Nathan just before she went to retrieve her coat.

"River and Stone. That's like the edge of town." Nathan was ready to go get his friend, but his curiosity stopped him momentarily, "What was she doing out there?"

Haley shrugged, "I don't know."

"Alright, with the roads and the weather, I'll probably be back in an hour or so." estimated Nathan.

"Wait." Haley pulled Nathan for a hug.

"I'll be careful," Nathan comforted his wife, "I promise. We'll be back before you know it."

Nathan placed a kiss on Haley's forehead, followed by a lingering one on her lips.

_SLAM!_

Haley jumped. Nathan looked up to the doorway. Seconds later, Sam appeared, shivering. She had her arms wrapped around her torso, trying to warm up. Melted snowflakes beaded on the top of her hair and clothing.

"Ahem," Sam started, "While you two were busy getting cozy, Lucas took the keys and left. I tried to go with him, but he wouldn't unlock the door."

"Damn it." Nathan muttered as he headed for the front door to see if he could catch him. Haley followed, hot on his heels.

* * *

Nearly forty-five minutes had passed since Peyton threw her cell phone on the floor of her car. During her plea for help to Haley, her phone dropped its signal completely. She was stranded and her car was now buried under a pile of snow. At least Peyton had _Dashboard Confessional_ to keep her company until help arrived. Alone in the dark, with only the sounds of the heater and Chris Carrabba's emotionally charged voice, Peyton closed her eyes and let her mind wander. This was what she was looking for; Peace; Nothing to think or worry about. At least it was until the next song began playing.

_Such a charming, beautiful exterior  
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes  
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by  
But you're barely scraping by_

Her serene state of mind dissolved as she was reminded of her secret. A secret that was hidden beneath the happy façade she had been faking ever since she landed in Tree Hill. And it was beginning to wear her down.

_And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone  
Or anyone at all… or anyone at all_

A tear slid down her face. She slipped off her left glove and stared at her ring finger. The diamond engagement ring suddenly felt heavy. Was coming home a mistake?

_And the grave that you refuse to leave  
The refuge that you've built to flee  
It's the place that you've come to fear the most_

Frustrated again with her predicament, Peyton turned off the CD player. She felt the need for some fresh air. As she opened her door, the bitter cold and a bright light greeted her. Peyton pushed the door open wider and stepped out. Squinting, until her eyes adjusted to the burst of light, Peyton could see the headlights of an SUV.

"Peyton?!?" hollered the figure that was getting out of the SUV.

Her eyes strained against the blowing snow, trying to see who came to her rescue.

"Lucas?" she yelled back against the wind.

"Are you OK?"

"Yes." She answered. "There's too much snow. I couldn't get past the snow drift."

Lucas had figured that much since he was trudging through the knee-high mound of snow, in attempt to get to Peyton. Now, standing in front of her and knowing that she was OK, Lucas let his worry and stress out.

"What the hell were you thinking?!?How could you be so careless? Going for a drive in the middle of a storm! Were you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't realize how far I was."

"Do you know how worried sick Haley is? Not to mention Sam and Nathan? How can you just run off like that?"

"I said I was sorry."

"Geez, Peyton. How could you be so..." There was no use being upset. He just needed a minute to calm down. "Just get in the car."

Peyton couldn't remember the last time she got scolded. She felt like a kid again as she sulked towards the SUV. Lucas watched Peyton get into SUV and felt a wave or relief. She was safe.

Towing Peyton's car home was out of the question. With the snowdrift set in front of her car, there was no way he could get the SUV close enough to hitch the car. Lucas removed the key from the ignition and locked the doors. They would have to come back to get the car some other time.

As Lucas drove, he kept his focus on the road ahead of him, while Peyton sat with her head leaning on her arm that was resting on the passenger side door. Silence sat between the two.

* * *

"Sam?" Nathan called out.

"In here." Sam replied from Peyton's bedroom.

"She's up here, Hales."

A moment after Nathan stepped into the bedroom with red walls Haley appeared and made her way over to the bed, where Sam was sitting with a rather large book in her lap.

"What's that?" Nathan asked.

"Peyton's sketch book. She told me that she burned it. But I knew that she didn't. I was trying to take my mind off things so I thought I would snoop around for my Christmas present. I found this instead." Sam turned a page. "It wasn't just a crush."

Haley peered over Sam's shoulder to get a better look at the sketch.

Peyton sat on her bed with her knees pulled in. Lucas sat on a chair next to bed, staring intensely at her. _"It's always going to be there. You and me." _He told her.

_Six billion people. Six billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one._

Sam read the caption one last time before shutting the book. "She was really crushing on Lucas back then, wasn't she?"

"Yeah." Haley answered. "but I think it was more than just a crush."

"What? Why would you say that?" Sam's brows knitted together.

"Sam," Haley started in a gentle voice, "how much do you know about Lucas and Peyton's history?"

"Not a lot. Peyton doesn't really like to talk about her life before New York. Why?"

"Lucas and Peyton were together once. In high school. When Lucas with Brooke."

"What?"

"They were going to tell her the truth, but then Lucas got into a car accident…"

* * *

"_This place is cool." Peyton immediately said when she reached the rooftop of Karen's café that was turned into a mini-put course._

"_Yeah it is." Haley agreed. "Lucas and I built this, back when it was the two of us against the world. Sorry I ran out of the hospital."_

_Peyton joined Haley on the bench, "No don't sweat it. I'm probably not the best person to be giving moral support anyway. Maybe you should have went with Nathan."_

"_Nathan and I are taking a little break."_

_"What happened?"_

_"He was using me to get to Lucas."_

_" Okay, Haley, I don't believe that. I know Nathan and he's into you." Peyton stated, matter-of-factly._

_"It doesn't matter." Haley changed the subject, "Anyway why do you think that you're no good for moral support?"_

_"You said that you were disappointed in Lucas for betraying Brooke and I just figured you felt the same way about me."_

_"Actually, no I don't." Haley disagreed. "I know what it's like to need Lucas in your life."_

_"I never let myself need anybody. Ever. Not since my mom died. But with Lucas, he looks at me and he really sees me. You know? Just right down into my soul."_

"_I just want to tell him that I love him and I'm sorry."_

_"I just want to tell him I'm in love with him."

* * *

_

"That was when I realized that it wasn't just a fling. You don't give up your best friend for just a crush."_  
_  
"Or in Lucas' case -a bride at the altar." Nathan smirked.

Haley glared at her husband. Now wasn't the time to be joking.

"But what about Michael? Peyton loves Michael. She told me. Besides they're going to get married. I'm going to be the maid of honour, for heaven's sake." Sam edged off the bed and started to pace around the room. "Peyton said Michael stayed behind because he had to work. Plus, she's still wearing the ring. I mean they're still engaged. Right?"

Sam looked to Nathan and Haley for reassurance. But all she found were two pairs of eyes that were just as confused.

* * *

The gusting winds furiously hurled loose snow through the air, creating whiteouts. Still, Lucas plowed slowly but steadily through the blustering snow. Luckily he, like Peyton, knew the back roads like the back of his hand. They had just past the lone oak tree that was rooted at the River and Jefferson cross-section, which meant that they were just one street away from town.

As the SUV drove closer to home, Lucas noticed something was wrong. The car started to slow down. The snow on the ground was much higher than on the open road. He pressed on the gas a bit more to power his way through. The idea worked for just a few more feet. Then suddenly, the SUV was stopped by the mounting snow.

"No, no, no, no." Lucas muttered under his breath.

"What?" Peyton sat up and looked at Lucas with fear. "Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't. There's too much snow. Hold on."

The wheels rotated furiously as Lucas gave it more gas. The truck didn't budge. He tried to create momentum for the truck to plow through snow by reversing and driving forward quickly. The engine roared and the wheels spun. Nothing.

He tried once more, but as the wheels spun, the deeper the tires sank into the snow.

"We're stuck." Lucas gave in.

"No. Try it again." Peyton pleaded.

"It's no use." Lucas turned the car off. "There's too much snow. Even if I got us moving, we wouldn't get very far."

He was right. She groaned in frustration and slumped back into the seat. This was not happening. Being stranded in a car, in the middle of nowhere, during a major blizzard was one thing, but being stuck with Lucas Scott was even worse.

"Here, put this on." Lucas took off his wool hat and offered it to her.

"What? Why?"

Lucas put his hood on as he rambled any excuse just to get here to wear it, "To keep your head warm… to keep your curls from getting wet."

She gave him a peculiar look, "But then that would mean we're going out _**there**_. Are you insane? I am not going out there. Look at it out there Lucas. It's getting worse by the minute."

"I know. It's bad, Peyton. But if we stay here, we'll freeze. Just trust me."

"Then turn the truck back on and blast the heat."

"And add thousands of pounds of carbon dioxide into the environment?"

"When did you become such an environmentalist? Besides, after riding the subway for years, I think I'm entitled to give a little gas."

Lucas chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just…I hope you'll wait till we get outside before you 'give a little gas'."

Peyton gasped at his lame joke, "I so did not mean to let it out like that."

Lucas held his nose, "I told you to wait till we got outside."

"Stop. I did not." She laughed and playfully hit him on the arm.

The tension between them began to waver.

"Ok, but you did set yourself up for it."

"I don't want to go out there." She admitted quietly.

"Look, I know where we are. We'll only be out there for five minutes. Tops."

"Do you really know where we are? Cause I don't."

"Do you trust me?"

"You promise we won't get lost? Because freezing to death isn't exactly an ideal scenario."

"Peyton, I promise. Besides it's just a bit of snow and wind. If Canadians can survive this every winter, so can we."

"Yeah, well, Canadians have winter coats and those toques things."

"Come on, I'll even let you throw a snowball at me."

Lucas offered his hand. Peyton stared at it for a second and wondered. Was it a sign of a peace offering? Would things be different after the storm? Or would they go back to being ex-friends?

She closed her eyes and placed her hand in his. When she felt his fingers wrap around hers, Peyton hoped that this wasn't a mistake after all.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who left a review. They're really encouraging!

Someone asked, (sorry I don't remember who) how long this story is - I have three more chapters already written and I still have the ending to write...which means there's three or four chapters left. No more than five.

A few people asked the same question - I don't want to give it all away here. I think you'll find out for sure in the next chapter. So sit tight...you're on the right track.

Anyways, if you've got time, leave me a review. Let me know what you think...was this a terrible chapter? Was it too long? Did you like it a tiny bit? Feedback is always appreciated.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: **I know I suck at updating. But I am determined to finish this story! This chapter isn't actually complete, but I somewhat promised to post this weekend... anyways hope you enjoy it. Let me know!

* * *

**Chapter 24**

"Who in the Sam Hell is banging on my door in this weather?" Whitey Durham bellowed as he swung open his front door. A wry smile crept on his round face when he recognized the two culprits. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Bonnie and Clyde, making mischief again."

Surprise and relief overwhelmed Peyton. "Whitey," Her arms flew around the older man, holding onto him for dear life. And for warmth.

Whitey wasn't the type of person who wore his heart on his sleeve but he had a soft spot for Peyton Sawyer. His long arms wrapped around Peyton's petite frame. "Welcome home, Peyton."

Despite being frozen to the core, Peyton managed to smile.

Pulling back from each other, Whitey's stern face returned, "Disappear like that again and I'll hunt you down myself."

Peyton only nodded in response. Though she did miss Whitey while she was away from Tree Hill, she never thought that she would be missed. The apologetic look that had fallen across her face softened Whitey again.

"Go get yourself warmed up by the fireplace." Whitey said with a twinkle in his eye.

As he watched Peyton disappear into the living room, a cold draft made the old man shiver. He wrapped his housecoat tighter around himself and turned his attention back to the open door. Seeing Lucas still standing in the doorway, his scowl reappeared.

"What are you standing there for? Get in here and close the door. You're letting all the heat out."

* * *

It was high school all over again. Lucas was an outcast sitting off to the side in the recliner while Whitey and Peyton, the popular kids, sat on the sofa, catching up. But Lucas didn't mind. He was there with Whitey, the man he looked up to and Peyton, the girl he still secretly adored.

"I always knew that you would do well, Peyton." Said Whitey, "But what about that lucky guy in your life?"

The excited glow that Peyton had while she talked about her life away from Tree Hill slowly dimmed. Her arms that flailed as she spoke fell back to her sides as her body sunk into the couch.

Whitey could sense that there were still some unresolved issues between Lucas and Peyton. Neither talked to each other much since they had arrived. It was mainly Peyton and Whitey who conversed while Lucas sat idly by. And when Lucas quietly left the room, shortly after his question, the old gentleman just shook his head.

Stubborn fools.

Peyton listened to Lucas' retreating footsteps and let out a nervous smile after she realized that Whitey was still patiently waiting. When she was sure that he was not within earshot, Peyton scooted closer to Whitey.

Keeping her voice low, Peyton finally admitted, "I don't think that guy's been quite so lucky."

* * *

_"Michael?" Peyton entered the bedroom of their New York home to find Michael packing for their trip to Tree Hill._

_"Hey, Peyton! Just in time." Michael held up a cashmere sweater in one hand and a suit in the other, "Do you and your dad dress up for Christmas dinner or is it more of a casual holiday?"_

_"Um...it's casual. Michael…"_

_"You know, I wasn't sure about spending Christmas away from my family, but now, I'm actually excited to see where you grew up. I mean you never really talk about it much and..."_

_"Michael." Peyton interrupted._

_He looked up to find Peyton awkwardly standing by the doorway, fidgeting with a book in her hands._

_"What is it, Peyton?"_

_"Do you remember what you first said to me when we met?"_

_Michael struggled to remember, "Um...well, I was at the Museum of Modern Art when I saw you. We were looking at some statue and..." he took a moment to remember, but couldn't remember the exact wording, "It was something about destiny and avoiding it. Why do you ask?"_

_"Well, at the time I was avoiding something. Michael, I never told you this, but you need to know who I was before we met. And why I left Tree Hill."

* * *

_

Lucas wandered down the memory filled hallway. It was a perfect distraction for him. Pictures of Whitey and Camilla were proudly displayed on the first part of the hallway. There were some single black and white photographs of Camilla. Her smile was kind, warm and beautiful. There were also a few pictures of the couple together, capturing their love.

Continuing down the hall, Lucas encountered Whitey's second love: the Ravens. Every team Whitey coached had a special place on the coach's wall. Lucas stopped when he came across his first team photo.

To this day, Lucas could remember his first game in the white, blue and black jersey – not because he had a dismal shooting performance, but because of what happened after the game.

* * *

_O for six from the field; five unforced turnovers; four personal fouls; needless to say, it was a terrible debut. Lucas sought comfort at the one place that he could call his own; the Rivercourt. Unfortunately – or fortunately - he wasn't the only one looking for the same thing._

_"I guess misery really does love company."_

_Lucas turned around, shocked to find Peyton Sawyer standing there at the edge of his court. After the game he saw her get into Nathan's SUV. The Rivercourt was the last place Lucas thought he would see Peyton and yet, there she was; with him, clearly cheering him up.

* * *

_

"Destiny has a way of finding you."

Lucas jumped back into reality to find a smiling Whitey peering over his shoulder. "I told you that before I let you walk onto to the court for the first time in a Raven's jersey. But you never listened, you stubborn fool. 'Cause if you had, you probably would have played a decent game. Instead you go out there, miss your first pass and nearly knock out that poor cheerleader."

"Yeah, Peyton wasn't too thrilled."

* * *

_"Nice hands." A feisty Peyton glared._

_Lucas confidently shrugged and responded. "Nice legs."

* * *

_

"She always was a wily one." Whitey stated.

"Yeah. She still is."

The older gentleman took an extra second to study Lucas' small smile and his daydreaming eyes. "You still love her, don't you?"

Lucas answered with a quizzical look. Was he that obvious?

"Destiny has a way of finding you, son." Whitey patted Lucas on the shoulder, "You don't force it. You don't fight it. Just let it find you."

"Destiny?"

"You'd be surprised at how easy life can be if you'd just stop avoiding it."

"So you're saying, Peyton and I are meant to be?"

"Oh no," Whitey let out a deep belly laugh. "I'm not saying that."

"But, you just said-"

"Lucas, destiny can only take you so far, it's up to up to you to make it happen." A yawn escaped Whitey. "Well, I'm beat. Time for this ol'fool to get to bed. Tell Bonnie I said g' night."

* * *

"_Wait. What are you saying?"_

_It didn't make sense. None of it did. And the more she tried to explain, the more confusing it got._

_"When I __left Tree Hill, I was looking for a fresh start . And when I moved out here and met you, I thought I found the happiness that I looking for." __she said, reaching for his hands. "Michael, I love you. But..."_

_Michael flinched when she touched him. Any confession that begins with an 'I love you' and ends with a 'but', never means anything good._

_"…before we can plan our wedding and get married, I need to be fair to you and to us." _

"_Fair? You think this is fair?"_

_"I know this sounds crazy, but I just – ever since Lucas came back into my life – a part of me…"_

"_You're just confused." He tried to organize the craziness that he was hearing, "You miss Lucas, that's all."_

_Michael was always a sensible guy. It was one of qualities Peyton loved about him. So she smiled when he tried to make sense of her mess of a heart. _

"_I know that you haven't talked to him in a while and I get that you're worried…"_

_A cloud of guilt washed over her. She wished everything he was saying was true. She wished that the feelings she always had since she first met Lucas had stayed buried, but they came flooding back the second he found her at the gallery. Her guilty conscience tormented her because she knew that she didn't just miss Lucas._

"_Michael, I'm sorry, but I think…"_

"_Think what?"_

"_I think it's better if I go to Tree Hill alone."

* * *

_

Peyton was sitting alone on the pullout sofa-bed. She sat and watched the crackling fire in front of her, nursing a glass of red wine. Her legs were tucked under her and a blue plaid blanket was wrapped snug around her. She was lost in her thoughts until Lucas interrupted.

"Hey."

Peyton, startled, quickly wiped fallen tears with her free hand. "Hi."

Lucas took a seat at the edge of the bed and gently put his hand on her arm, "Are...are you crying?"

"No." she sniffed.

_Liar, _he thought as his eyes rolled.

"If I told you that I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, will you stop crying? Because I am. I'm sorry that I said some things that I didn't mean."

"Yes. No." she answered as tears continued to fall, "God. I hate being such a girl."

"Well, I kinda like the fact that you're a girl." Lucas smirked, "Besides if you weren't, those legs would be such a waste."

_SMACK!_

"Ow!" Lucas rubbed his tingling arm while he smiled at Peyton whose cheeks were turning red. "Are you blushing?"

"No." Peyton lied. Feeling vulnerable and exposed, Peyton put her glass of wine down on the end table and shifted away from him. She moved to the other side of the bed and laid down, with her back to him.

Suddenly, the bed began to squeak and the bed began to sink behind her. Peyton sat up and stared at him like he had three heads, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Come on. We used to talk like this in your bedroom all the time, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but,"

Lucas rolled onto his side to face her and propped his head up with his arm. "Look, you came home to work things out between us. So consider this as us – being friends, working things out."

She was confused, "Earlier you said we weren't friends and now suddenly we are? What made you change your mind?"

"Maybe I've realized that I can't deny the inevitable."

"The inevitable?" Peyton suddenly began to wonder if Whitey had said something to him in the hallway.

"When you were missing in the storm, I did a lot of thinking. We've been through so much together. It'd be such a waste to throw it all away. And with that said," He sat up, meeting her eyes, "I owe you an apology because the last thing I told you was that we weren't friends; that we weren't anything. And I don't want that for us.

"Peyton, I know what it's like not to have you in my life and I don't want that again. I made my choices and I have to live with it. Not you. So if I have to let you go and settle just being friends again then I will. Just as long as you're happy. It's all that matters."

Lucas' hand reached up to the side of her face, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, "You deserve to be happy, Peyton."

Peyton tried to fight a frown with a smile. Her lips quivered until she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lucas wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. She accepted his embrace only for a moment. She pushed herself off of him, wiping furiously at her falling tears.

"I don't deserve to be happy."

"Why not?"

"Because…because I've been lying to everyone."

"What are you talking about?"

"I left Michael."

* * *

_"Ok, I must be dreaming or something here, because this is not making any sense." Michael threw his hands up in defeat. "Peyton, what you had with the guy is a crush. It wasn't love. __**I**__ love you."_

"_I know. And I'm sorry."_

"_No. You can't do this, Peyton." He threatened. "__**I**__ can't let you do this. If you get on that plane, without me, then we're over."_

_Peyton knew that this conversation wouldn't go well, but she didn't expect an ultimatum. It stunned her. "Michael, don't do this."_

_"You think I want to do this? Peyton, you want to go to Tree Hill to see if you still have feelings for the guy and you want me, your fiancée, just to stand off to the side and watch." _

"_It's not like that."_

"_No. I don't want to hear it. It's me or him. And if you choose him, don't expect me to stick around and catch you when things don't work out."

* * *

_

He didn't have to ask her who she chose. Her sitting beside him told him. But why?


End file.
